Overheard By Snotglob: We're Sorry

Hello Earthlings.

It's your friend Snotglob here.

Remulak has let me post again, because I have an exclusive scoop that will enlighten you all.

The Fox News and Talk Radio fascists are going after Michael Posner the Assistant Secretary of State for Human Right etc., for apologizing to China's leader over Arizona's recent transformation into a Nazi Genocide state by demanding immigrants to produce ID when the pigs harass them.

Well, it just so happens that I heard the whole conversation. It was a telephone call between Posner and Chinese leader Hu Jintao at this meeting, and I have posted the complete transcript for you.

JINTAO: Welcome Mr. Assistant Secretary, you honor me with...

POSNER: I'm sorry, but I really have to apologize.

JINTAO: For what?

POSNER: For Arizona.

JINTAO: What about Arizona?

POSNER: Right now, as we speak, Arizona has become the greatest human rights violator the world has ever known, and as the voice of the American people I feel I must apologize for this to you, the leader of the freest and most democratic state in the world.

JINTAO: What?

POSNER: We are so very, very sorry.

JINTAO: Wait a minute. Do you know what country you're calling?

POSNER: Yes, I must apologize for Arizona's ongoing atrocity. If only America had the strong central leadership that you have here in China we'd have been able to stop it. But that damn constitution is holding us back.

JINTAO: What is Arizona doing?

POSNER: You haven't heard?

JINTAO: No. What's happening in Arizona.

POSNER: If the cops stop an illegal immigrant for a traffic violation, or for committing a crime... they... they...

JINTAO: They what?

POSNER: They ask for their ID.

JINTAO: And then they....

POSNER: Well, we assume they report them to our immigration department for deportation back to Mexico.

JINTAO: They don't shoot them and send a bill to their families for the bullet?

POSNER: No.

JINTAO: They don't torture them? Burn them alive? Rape them?

POSNER: No.

JINTAO: Then what's the big deal?

POSNER: It's the most horrible violation of human rights the world has ever seen since the fascist pigs of the Bush administration water-boarded that poor innocent man Khalid Sheikh Mohammed!

JINTAO: Okay... Now I get it. Ashton Kutcher's going to jump out from behind the fern and tell me I'm "Punk'd" or something like that?

POSNER: What are you talking about?

JINTAO: I'm talking about you talking like a crazy man.

POSNER: I see. The scale of this holocaust is just too massive for you to conceive. I understand, but you must believe.

JINTAO: Are you on some sort of medication or something?

POSNER: Please! I'm begging you! You're the moral leader of the world! You must forgive us for our crimes against humanity!

JINTAO: Do you know any history?

POSNER: I memorized everything written by Howard Zinn.

JINTAO: Sheesh, I never thought I'd have to say this...

POSNER: Oh, I'd like to also apologize for our ongoing brutal oppression of America's Muslim population.

JINTAO: Really, you finally started rounding them up, eh?

POSNER: No. It's just that we keep catching Muslims committing or trying to commit terrorist acts.. Sorry, I mean man caused disasters, and we're sorry that it might spark a racist backlash that really hasn't materialized even though Muslims have killed thousands of Americans and other westerners the world over. The government of the USA is very, very sorry for driving them to kill our citizens by buying their nation's oil, not killing Jews, and failing to sign the Kyoto Protocol.

JINTAO: Okay, I think I'm going to hang up now.

POSNER: Oh, I've offended you. I'm so sorry. So very very sorry.

JINTAO: Will you please stop apologizing! Don't you realize that my government's killed millions of people, tens of millions really, most of them for being the wrong religion or political persuasion. We've invaded Tibet, killed thousands of Tibetans, and continue to do so! What the hell is wrong with you? Arizona's policy is exponentially nicer than ours, and it's way nicer than Mexico's who regularly abuse and imprison illegal aliens from El Salvador and Honduras for merely passing through their country. What is your major malfunction that you feel you have to apologize simply because one state wants to enforce a pre-existing and very mild federal law? Why do you have to apologize for doing nothing wrong?

POSNER: Sorry I got you so mad.

CLICK-- DIAL TONE

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you, and I'm listening too.

In Vino Veritas

A SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTARY BY
DRUNK GORDON BROWN
Soon To Be Ex-Prime Minister of Great Britain

Wha' are you lookin' at?

Huh!

Wha' you fancy yerself sumtin special?

Tink yer so feckin' 'ot, because you ain't run no feckin' country into the ground?

I oughtta kick yer ass....

(SOBS)

OH WHY DIDN'T YOU VOTE LABOUR?

WHY?

We did what you wanted.

We made the schools so bad and politicized your children actually get dumber as time goes by.

We made law enforcement so impotent you are now free to viciously assault each other on the streets, because the odds of the constant video surveillance being used against you is outweighed by the incompetence of our police, prosecutors and judges.

We made the once booming economy a cruel black joke with banks crashing, unemployment rising, and yahoos demanding more out of less.

We looted the treasury through our expense accounts, and lived high on the hog, the way the ruling elite should.

We made the hospitals death-traps where if you actually are lucky to get a bed in one, it's so riddled with anti-biotic resistant germs, you're chances of survival and costing us money are slim.

What more could you want?

I mean look at who is forming the next government. You've got David "Less Balls Than Thatcher" Cameron, of the Tories joining forces with Nick "Europe is Right About Everything, Even Greece" Clegg.

Talk about Tweedledum and Tweedleshitforbrains.

The Tories are so lacking in the balls department you're just going to get all the same sucky Labour policies, except this time, the BBC/Oxbridge pundits will piss on them from their ivory towers!

You dumb sods!

You're still buggered six ways from Sunday!

The only way you could have been dumber, is if you voted me back in power!

Damn, I need a feckin' drink.

Piss off!

Douchebags of Week! Greece Fire Edition!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

So many douchebags, so little time. Let's get started:

1. Administrators of the Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill California.

These administrators suspended a bunch of students for daring to wear shirts adorned with the American flag on Cinco de Mayo.

Cinco de Mayo, which I used to think was a sandwich with extra mayonnaise, is a holiday Mexicans celebrate to honor the day when their self-inflicted backwater of a country joined the large club of nations that defeated France.

Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with the USA, but Americans acknowledge it out of the goodness of their hearts to make their brothers and sisters of Mexican descent feel part of the nation, and to chow down on Mexican cuisine.

Which begs the question: Why anyone would be offended by the flag of a nation so accommodating to a holiday of another country?

It's not like these students were wearing T-shirts emblazoned with the flag of the invader France, or even the usurper Emperor Maximilian I of Mexico, or someone even more maniacally bloodthirsty like Che Guevera. They were wearing a reminder to students of Mexican descent that they are damn lucky to not be living in Mexico.

So why the offense?

Because Cinco de Mayo has become yet another pawn in the game of identity politics, professional victimology, and the racial/nationalist games of political hacks of groups like La Raza. It is no longer a celebration of beating France, but a stick to be used to beat the United States of America into becoming Mexico North. Because we all know what a wonderful condition Mexico is in right now.

Here's a simple policy suggestion. If anyone is offended by the flag of the country they live in, then they should be moved, post-haste to the country they apparently prefer. Simple as that.

2. Greek Rioters.

Decades of bad management, corruption, and tax fraud, have turned Greece from the "sick man of Europe" to the basket case of the Western World. People are rioting, assaulting police, smashing windows, burning businesses, and even murdering poor bank employees because they want to keep getting 14 monthly paychecks instead of 12.

And let us not forget that they're letting communists and anarchists run roughshod with their permission. Try that in my empire, and you can consider yourself lucky if you only end up in the belly of a Grenarrian razorbeast. I'm all for decent pay and pensions, but Greece's situation is ridiculous, the country is going down in flames, threatening to take the rest of Europe with it, and these people don't care, just give them their bloated entitlements.

Where were the voices of reason that said: You can't do that, we can't afford it! when the unions were formulating their demands?

Where are the current voices of reason that say: Burning down Athens only do us more harm then good, as they storm through the streets?

They're definitely not in Greece, that's for sure.

Of course, this will all be repeated on an exponential scale in the USA, if the Democrats succeed with their "hope and change" agenda, but with an added soupcon of the Chinese aiming nukes at them to demand repayment of debts.

Anyway, if you are on this list, then...
Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

The Leftist Mind: Straight From The Horse's Mouth

A SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY BY
LIBBY RALL
Spokeshuman for P.O.O.P.
Progressives Organized for Organizing Progress

Hello fellow humans.

I've been given some space here on this normally racist and fascist blog to present to you normally racist and fascist alternative media readers the reasoning behind progressive thinking, or as we prefer to call it "correct" thinking.

ARIZONA: This southwestern state has officially become over 100 times worse than Nazi Germany with their racist and fascist laws oppressing our poor undocumented sisters and brothers.

Sure, all the law really does is enact pre-existing federal laws asking local police to inquire about people's immigration status when arresting them for committing crimes, but that's not the point. The point is that we need these undocumented workers more than those awful legal immigrants so we can:

1. Suppress wages at the bottom of the economic ladder. That way we can prevent the simple economics of supply and demand from decreasing poverty, and make people believe that only the government can do it.

2. Use the politics of "cultural sensitivity" to keep these undocumented people in ethnically segregated enclaves where they are unable to learn the national language and fully participate in the political system in any way that we progressives don't directly control.

3. With these undocumented people carefully isolated to protect the wonderful culture that has done so many wonderful things with Mexico, they are then completely dependent on the beneficent state to maintain them, and will thus vote to keep the correct progressive party in power when they are given the right to vote.

Now some compare the hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants to some sort of "invasion," from a third world country. Now that's just wrong, when a technologically advanced or prosperous country sends its citizens into a poor country to make over the poor country in the image of the rich country, it's imperialism. When the citizens of a poor country pour into a rich country to remake it in the image of the poor country, it's social progress in action.

That's why Arizona is evil.