In Vino Veritas

A SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTARY BY
DRUNK GORDON BROWN
Soon To Be Ex-Prime Minister of Great Britain

Wha' are you lookin' at?

Huh!

Wha' you fancy yerself sumtin special?

Tink yer so feckin' 'ot, because you ain't run no feckin' country into the ground?

I oughtta kick yer ass....

(SOBS)

OH WHY DIDN'T YOU VOTE LABOUR?

WHY?

We did what you wanted.

We made the schools so bad and politicized your children actually get dumber as time goes by.

We made law enforcement so impotent you are now free to viciously assault each other on the streets, because the odds of the constant video surveillance being used against you is outweighed by the incompetence of our police, prosecutors and judges.

We made the once booming economy a cruel black joke with banks crashing, unemployment rising, and yahoos demanding more out of less.

We looted the treasury through our expense accounts, and lived high on the hog, the way the ruling elite should.

We made the hospitals death-traps where if you actually are lucky to get a bed in one, it's so riddled with anti-biotic resistant germs, you're chances of survival and costing us money are slim.

What more could you want?

I mean look at who is forming the next government. You've got David "Less Balls Than Thatcher" Cameron, of the Tories joining forces with Nick "Europe is Right About Everything, Even Greece" Clegg.

Talk about Tweedledum and Tweedleshitforbrains.

The Tories are so lacking in the balls department you're just going to get all the same sucky Labour policies, except this time, the BBC/Oxbridge pundits will piss on them from their ivory towers!

You dumb sods!

You're still buggered six ways from Sunday!

The only way you could have been dumber, is if you voted me back in power!

Damn, I need a feckin' drink.

Piss off!