Xran Xplains: President Obama VS The US Chamber of Commerce

Howdy Earthlings!

It's your favorite alien space pirate Xran the Fleshrender here, and once again it has fallen on me to simplify the complicated after it's been complicated by the simple.

Today it is my duty to explain why President Barack Obama and his administration has declared war on the US Chamber of commerce:

THIS IS
THE US CHAMBER
OF COMMERCE

Its job is to represent the interests of both
BIG BUSINESSES
&
SMALL BUSINESSES
That means making public statements
in support of
PRO-BUSINESS POLITICIANS
& not
ANTI-BUSINESS POLITICIANS
like
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
& HIS CRONIES
are all
MILITANTLY ANTI-BUSINESS
unless you're a businessman named
GEORGE SOROS
(I'll get back to that in a bit)

That means they don't like the
US CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
& sent out top catamite minion
DAVID AXELROD
to accuse the
US CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
of illegally using money from
WALL STREET FAT CATS
&
SINISTER FOREIGNERS
under the direction of
KARL ROVE
to
STEAL DEMOCRACY

Naturally
DAVID AXELROD
has no
EVIDENCE
of any of this but
DAVID AXELROD
believes that the
US CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
must
PROVE THEY'RE
NOT GUILTY
by
RELEASING THE NAMES
OF ALL OF THEIR DONORS

So those same donors can be
AUDITED
by the
IRS
SUED
by groups like
MOVE ON.ORG
&
CRIMINALLY PROSECUTED
by
US ATTORNEY GENERAL
ERIC HOLDER

Who thinks
VOTER INTIMIDATION
is fine and dandy
but
FREE SPEECH
IS NOT

This is to make people too scared to vote
for anyone but
DEMOCRATS
ever again and to hell with the
CONSTITUTION

It also acts as a
DIVERSION
from the people who give money to
DEMOCRATS
because they include real
WALL STREET FAT CATS
BILLIONAIRE SPECULATORS
& REAL FOREIGN CRIMINALS.

I hope that clears things up for you.