And Now a Word From Our Sponsor...

Xran the FleshRender

for

Soylent Blue

Being an interstellar pirate is a rewarding career, but it can also be a messy one. I've lost count of how many times I've come home from a raid smelling of seared metal, scorched flesh, and spilt blood. And let me tell you that my four wives don't care for their hubby tracking blood and gristle onto the newly killed living room rug while reeking of slaughter and looking for a little lovin'.

That's why I use Soylent Blue.

It's the full-body shampoo made from people, and boy, does it keep my fur shiny and smelling its best. It also keeps that pesky dandruff from popping up in places you don't want flaking, and the ladies love a space pirate who can spend all day wallowing in gore and still come out smelling like a Arellian Swamp-Rose.

So try Soylent Blue, it makes people clean, because it's made from clean people.

This message brought to you by the Soylent Corporation of Ursa Major: "We make people useful."