Point/Counterpoit #3: Judging Pets and Pets that Judge

If your matter really matters, trust Malgrub
SNOTGLOB, on the Left

TEKTAK- Welcome to Point/Counterpoint. Today's topic is the nomination of a creature called the Hairy Yet-Mires to the Supreme Court of the American Empire. The nomination is controversial to both sides of the American political spectrum. Those who normally support the President think that this creature lacks the qualifications to be such a prominent jurist and the political opposition don't care for her religion and call her a 'crony' of Overlord DubyaBush.

SNOTGLOB- What exactly is a crony?

TEKTAK- I think it's a name you give some kind of pet.

SNOTGLOB- Well that's appalling! Overlord DubyaBush should be ashamed of his treatment of a poor innocent creature like his pet Yet-Mires. Forcing house pets to work is cruel and inhumane.

TEKTAK- But using their brains as nests for your eggs are not?

SNOTGLOB- I don't need you to point out my hypocrisy! DubyaBush's behavior is disgusting!

TEKTAK- Perhaps you are in agreement with the so-called 'Right Wingers.' They, I assume, are some sort of bird-like creature who hold a lot of sway with OverLord DubyaBush, and they question the qualifications and political backbone of appointing a pet to high court.

SNOTGLOB- I would never agree with a bunch of one-winged avioids! The under-evolved have rights too, and they should be respected. Do you remember the time when Remulak Moxargon got all whacky on Hyborean cactus juice and appointed his pet Alluvian Tree-snail as minister of public works?

TEKTAK- That little slime-spitter actually got the department's budget under control, and increased productions by over 75%. But he was one clever snail. Too bad the next time Remulak had the cactus juice he ate him.

SNOTGLOB- Then those nasty Right Wingers should just back off on the Hairy Yet-Mires and give it a chance!

TEKTAK- Weren't you just scolding OverLord DubyaBush for putting his pet to work a minute ago?

SNOTGLOB- When did you become the king of the nit-pickers?

TEKTAK- I've always been the king of the nit-pickers. Someone has to be. So are you for or against this nomination?

SNOTGLOB- I think the Hairy Yet-Mires should be given a chance to prove its worth, but I also think it's cruel that DubyaBush is forcing pets to do work more befitting a slave. What's your opinion?

TEKTAK- My opinion doesn't matter. As a nit-picker I've done my research. I think OverLord DubyaBush has set this whole thing up as an elaborate deception to embarrass and confuse his enemies. He can't appoint anyone to the high court without approval of the Imperial Senate, a Senate crawling with people opposed to everything he does, no matter what. So he get's a prominent member of that opposition, a plant-like creature called a Hairy Reed to suggest the nomination of his pet Yet-Mires. DubyaBush makes the nomination, knowing that the rest of the opposition will oppose it, based on this creature's religious beliefs. They will then kill the creature with some weapon called a Filly-Buster. DubyaBush will go to the people, waving the corpse of his beloved pet in front of the cameras, get the Filly-Buster removed from the Imperial Senate and then he will appoint his real candidate for the position. Nothing jerks the tears like a deceased pet. Remember how Moxargon cried for a week after he ate 'Mr. Slimy?'

SNOTGLOB- Sounds awfully complicated.

TEKTAK- Earth is a complicated planet. It's crawling with humans, moonbats, hairy reeds, right-wingers, and left wingers...

SNOTGLOB- Maybe DubyaBush should break out his own Filly-Buster and trim the herd a little?

TEKTAK- On that we agree.


SeanS said...

I need to get me one of those Filly-busters. Sounds like fun.

Fitch said...

I take exception to the assertion that, "Forcing house pets to work is cruel and inhumane." Giving housepets a task helps keep them happy, instead of chewing the furniture or digging through the garbage can.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...


fmragtops said...

Freakin' hilarious. I feel compelled the fillings in my teeth to add you to my blogroll.