MOXARGON- Welcome puny Earthlings to another edition of The MoxArgon Group. Joining me today are my regular panelists Android Cai/7, Xran, and the newest full member of our little group, Varos Quasar.
VAROS- It's great to be here. And I'm still wishing Drone-9099 well. Does anyone know what he's doing? He's supposed to be out of rehab by now.
MOXARGON- It's a sad story. He completely quit interstellar conquest and political punditry.
ANDROID CAI/7- I heard that has entered some sort of training school to become a beautician.
VAROS- No way.
XRAN- It's true. I saw him the other day, running around screaming: 'Exfoliate! Exfoliate!' It was pretty sad.
VAROS- Damn, dating Anne Coulter really messes you up.
MOXARGON- Well, let's get back to business. First issue: Has the western media lost their collective noodle. A quarter of the world is on fire, people are being massacred, countries are being boycotted and pastries are being renamed, and all the American Mainstream Media can do is waste hours and hours covering the non-event of a non-fatal hunting accident. What do you think?
XRAN- I think they have a legitimate reason to be upset. Dick Cheney didn't call the media before he called the ambulance, thus costing them some great video footage of his injured friend being loaded onto the ambulance.
VAROS- I think they are nuts. There's a war going on all over the world, freedom of speech is threatened, and all they have to talk about is their hurt feelings about not being called first. That's not how sane journalists act.
MOXARGON- Android CAI/7?
ANDROID CAI/7- I think they were acting perfectly logically. Or at least as logically as the MSM is capable of acting. You see the MSM is allied with the Democratic Party. And the entire existence of that Democratic Party is based upon the desire to destroy Overlord Bush and all those who disagree with them so they can seize power again. That's why they manufacture controversies where none exist, praise their nation's enemies, undermine their own war efforts, and act rudely or clownishly at press events. They are so blinded by their lust for power, and their contrariness to Overlord Bush, that they cannot see that they are hurting their own nation, and possibly their very lives.
MOXARGON- Excellent point Android Cai/7. Next issue: and I know we're beating a dead horse, but the Islamic World is calling for the punishment of the entire nation of Denmark, in fact, the entire Western World, over those inane little cartoons, what do you think?
ANDROID CAI/7- Highly illogical.
VAROS- Doesn't make a lick of sense to me.
XRAN- They're merely subscribing to the notion of 'collective responsibility.' You see, their culture has pretty much destroyed all individuality to serve the religious and political elite. They cannot conceive that western cultures are made up of individuals who are only controlled by their own sense of good taste, so when one westerner offends them, all must be punished.
MOXARGON- That's a pretty primitive attitude on their part. When that Targallian tried to kill me, I didn't blame the entire Targallian race, now did I?
XRAN- You still killed all of them.
MOXARGON- Yes I did kill all of them, but I didn't do it because I blamed them for the actions of an individual. I killed all of them to act as a lesson for others.
VAROS- Maybe that's what the Muslims are doing?
MOXARGON- But if they do what I did, there won't be anyone left on Earth to learn the lesson. In the eyes of the extremists all must die over these cartoons.
ANDROID CAI/7- I am concerned by the proposed restrictions on free speech the European Union in considering.
MOXARGON- True. I always have free speech on the planets I conquer, that's how I know what my enemies are up to.
VAROS- They claim that those restrictions are being done in the name of sensitivity to Islamic feelings.
XRAN- Sensitivity could end up getting a lot of Muslims killed. Europeans have a nasty tendency to resort to genocide over imagined threats from people they consider 'outsiders.' What do you think they'll do over a real threat to something they hold dear?
ANDROID CAI/7- What really burns my circuits is the craven cowardice of the MSM in their coverage of the issue. Only the Boston Phoenix has been brave enough to admit that their decision to not publish the cartoons was out of fear of inevitable and violent reprisals from the Muslim community.
MOXARGON- Most MSM have claimed they censored the cartoons out of 'sensitivity to the feelings of religious people' and then ran some piece about how great it is to put Christian symbols in bodily waste.
VAROS- Maybe they're only sensitive to the feeling of religious people who will kill them?
XRAN- I heard that only 70% of journalists covering the story have actually seen the cartoons. That means almost a third are in complete ignorance over the whole issue.
MOXARGON- I think we could all agree that this cartoon controversy is far from over. Next issue: former American Overlord Jimmy Carter says that the United States and other nations should give aid to the Palestinian Authority, even though they elected a violent terrorist group to form their government.
ANDROID CAI/7- Jimmy Carter's either senile, insane, both, or under some sort of mind control. I don't see any humanoid with an intact cerebrum making those kinds of statements.
XRAN- I agree.
VAROS- Is it just me or does Mr. Carter seem to support anyone that wants to kill Americans or Jooos?
MOXARGON- It's not just you. I can't see the logic in wanting the USA to give money to people who want to wipe out the only functioning democracy in the region.
VAROS- Maybe the people in the Democratic Party should change their name to the Anti-Democratic Party, it would be more honest.
MOXARGON- We are talking about politicians here. And that's all the time we have for today, so on behalf of us all here, goodbye for now, and keep watching the skies.