Isn't that interesting...

Greetings puny Earthlings, TekTak here still on holiday watch for the crew. Now there have been some reports coming out about the death of Abu Musab al Zarqawi, and since I have access to the most accurate snooping surveillance gear in the Known Universe I can provide the answers.

Was Abu Musab Al Zarqawi really beaten to death by American soldiers?

Nope.

Okay, he was still alive when they found him, but not for long and it wasn't at the hands of the Yankees.

You see after the blombing the Big Abu was still alive, but his internal organs resembled... hmmm...

... how can I describe it?

I know.

Take a sausage, put it in a blender with some ketchup, and set the blender to puree.

That'll give you an idea of what his innards looked like.

Although the prospect was tempting, the Yankee soldiers held back on dishing out a can of whoop-ass on him, because at the time, they weren't sure if it really was him, and if there's one things Americans like more than dishing out whuppins, it's dishing them out to the right person.

So they tried to identify him, but he was dead before the could confirm it.

Does that answer your question?

Next question.

Did they really find lingerie belonging to Zarqawi's wife in his hideout?

The answer to that is both yes and no.

Yes, they did find some leapord skin lingerie in the hideout.

But, and this is a big but... and I mean that in every way.

The lingerie was, shall we say, a tad big for Mrs. Zarqawi, but was a perfect fit for a certain someone whose name rhymes with Pabu Busab El Zark-Wowie.

Be sure to tell click here and tell us what you think we should do with Zarqawi's head.

See you later, keep watching the skies and all that jazz....