6.25.2006

Point/Counterpoint: The New York Times & The Reasons For Treasons

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings and welcome to Point/Counterpoint. Tektak is on his own well deserved vacation, so I'm sitting in for him today. And as usual representing the political left is Snotglob the Mutant. It's good to be here Snotglob.

SNOTGLOB- Welcome to the show Remulak.

MOXARGON- Summer has quickly become the season for treason in the USA. Once again the venerable flagship of the elite MSM, the New York Times has published a story exposing the existence and practices of a covert counter-terrorism operation. Namely the tracking of international money transfers by terrorism suspects. I for one think it's terrible, and editor Bill Keller and the reporters responsible should be arrested, tried, and convicted of treason.

SNOTGLOB- That's horrible!

MOXARGON- Yes it is.

SNOTGLOB- Those noble people at the New York Times are heroes. They should be honored instead of prosecuted for trying to protect the public!

MOXARGON- Protect them from what? The US government wasn't reading innocent people's mail or listening in on their phone calls, they were looking into suspicious money transfers made by people involved in terrorism. It was a program that has already helped capture terrorists all over the world, and now that its existence is blown, it's useless. People are going to die because of the New York Times! Can't you see that?

SNOTGLOB- Look, I'm positive that the editorial staff of the New York Times has the best interests of Americans at heart and are not going to endanger the lives of people simply to curry favor with their core audience of upscale New York Democrats.

MOXARGON- They might not for just that, but when there's a chance to embarrass the Bush Administration by creating phony hysteria over a non-issue that can only help terrorists they'll be on it faster than Michael Moore on an all-you-can-eat buffet.

SNOTGLOB- I think you're just being cynical.

MOXARGON- And I think you're being an ignorant hermaphrodite slut!

SNOTGLOB- I was waiting for you to use that line.

MOXARGON- Tektak has it engraved into the desk here. Here's a question if you're such an expert on what people need to know, why is the mainstream media burying recently declassified reports showing that Saddam Hussein had over 500 artillery shells loaded with Sarin and Mustard Gas, while eagerly exposing info that could get Americans killed?

SNOTGLOB- The public doesn't need to know about the chemical weapons.

MOXARGON- Why?

SNOTGLOB- It's simple. It's all there to make it look like Bush didn't lie about WMDs when he's really been lying about them all along.

MOXARGON- Okay, now you're confusing me. Why does the discovery of real WMDs mean that Bush lied about their existence?

SNOTGLOB- The fascist neo-cons are going to use the existence of those chemical weapons as proof that Saddam Hussein had illegal chemical weapons, when he didn't.

MOXARGON- But they're sitting there in Iraq!

SNOTGLOB- Yeah, but Saddam didn't have them on him when he was captured. Those chemical weapons could be anyone's. They could even belong to those Zionists they're always talking about.

MOXARGON- Why would Zionists hide chemical weapons in a country run by a madman who wanted to kill them?

SNOTGLOB- No one would look for their weapons in that country.

MOXARGON- Are you getting dumber?

SNOTGLOB- I'm just following the trends of my Earthling brothers and sisters on the left.

MOXARGON- So you're going to start attacking the New Republic like that Kos guy?

SNOTGLOB- Of course, Kos says that they're a bunch of Lieberman-loving neo-cons, so they must be attacked.

MOXARGON- I thought Lieberman was supposed to be a great liberal and a stalwart of the Democratic Party. When did supporting him become a liberal thought-crime?

SNOTGLOB- He's not pure enough! He supports fighting terrorists! Everyone knows that a truly pure liberal, like Kos, must forsake all attempts at self-protection in order to destroy the monstrous fascist hegemony called America.

MOXARGON- So let me get this straight. Lieberman's now a pariah among his fellow liberal Democrats because he will not endorse the destruction of the powerful liberal democracy in the world?

SNOTGLOB- Exactly. That's why Al Gore won't endorse him. Sure, it was okay to have a potential Vice President who wanted to protect America in peacetime, but now that there's a war on, that's a no-no.

MOXARGON- By the twenty-three nipples of Threegle of Impaler, what kind of screwed up logic are you using?

SNOTGLOB- It's solid Earthling Liberal logic, the best in the galaxy.

MOXARGON- And how does Tektak make it through these sessions without punching you in the mandibles?

SNOTGLOB- He's got a bottle of Romulan Ale under the desk.

MOXARGON- Now that's the best idea I've heard all day. That's all for today, so until next time, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

4 comments:

qwerty182764 said...

To the Moxargon Group - would be conquerors of humanity:

I have often despaired of the insanity and suicidal tendencies of the human social conciseness. Especially when observing the antics of our European brethren as they commit cultural suicide on behalf of a group that barely emerged from the dark ages and spent the next 1400 years trying to return to them.

However afflicted we may be in that category, don't you think it's a bit premature to attempt taking on the rest of the human race? Even the most seemingly useless and malignant trait can become an asset in certain circumstances.

Let me be a bit bold and use France as an example. France is an archetype of the political left. But if you'll go back a bit further, you'll find that throughout their checkered history, most of the fatal philosophies to afflict the west have come bubbling up out of the cauldron of their narcissism and discontent. Rational, sane, upwardly striving societies have come under the influence of their philosophes and promptly wasted themselves in war and violence. Some of the most intelligent people in the world in mindless subjugation. It has infected the most enlightened civilizations on earth in the form of socialist movements.

Now let us suppose you attempt to invade us. You may have seen resistance on the order of what our militaries can furnish before (though I dare your landing craft to face the USAF unscathed). But surely you would be broadcasting back homeward tales of your exploits, along with history and artifacts of our culture. The messages that we send, the novelties that are here. We could send a little bit of France along with all of that.

Now how long do you suppose it will be before your empire is rendered stark raving mad? How long before the pleas from home to recall your warmongering fleet, to face trials for war crimes? How long before your weapons systems are recalled because they violate environmental safety procedures? How long before your closest advisors begin to turn on you, not because of perceptible lust for power, but "for your own good" because they feel guilty at your galaxy's success, aiding the envious masses in revolt?

Nominal or seeming intelligence has not spared people from them thus far. Only the most hard headed and practical people have been able to resist. (How large is Flokkia's middle class anyways?) So far, no culture has yet withstood their madness. Would we be cruel enough to unleash their mental virus on even you? ... ... yep.

In fact, Snotglob the mutant seems to be quite ... receptive (in addition to having a novel way of spreading his viewpoint). A risk you’re willing to take? Rousseau anyone?

Damian G. said...

Um, what?

qwerty182764 said...

An attempt at playing along/humor. You can erase it if you want.

Damian G. said...

I can't. Our alien Overlord can.