6.16.2006

We have a Weiner!

Hello puny Earthlings, TekTak here.

The other day I called for suggestions for what Bush should do with Zarqawi's head and we got quite a few ideas.

Stogie offered quite a few suggestions via the wonders of photoshop, an admirable effort, but not enough to save him from a life of slavery with his fellow Earthlings.

The Digital Fortress suggested two possibilities, one, a soccer ball for the World Cup. Not bad, but with the way the EUnuchs have been acting lately they'd probably cancel the World Cup and use the head to build a shrine. He also suggested using the head to build a decoy Zarqawi to attract and blow up terrorists, not a bad idea, but you can only do it once, so it's off to the slave pits for you.

Republidan suggests cloning Zarqawi, and then beating the clones to death. While amusing, Earthling cloning technology is a little too backward to pull it off.

SeanS suggests casting Zarqawi's head into a transparent bowling ball to give to the President as a gift. Not bad, just not good enough to save yourself from a life of slavery in the petroleum mines.

Toady FMRagtops will be put to light slavery work by suggesting having a taxidermist mount Zarqawi's head to a pig's body. It could then be put on public display where everyone can bask in Zarqawi's porcine glory.

However, the winner of this contest, whose life will be spared from an existence of back breaking labour is...

Anonymous, who suggested we convert Zarqawi's head into something resembling a Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish. But since we don't know who he is, nobody really wins.

See you later folks and keep watching the skies.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all. In accepting this award, I would like to thank the other contestants, my mom, Mr. Boy, Mark Hamil, and our kind hearted tyrannical intergalactic overlords. I would accept in person, but I'm alergic to mutants. Sorry Snotgob.

We may disagree on things such as the conquest of Earth and my inevitable enslavement in the petrolium mines, but it is a good sign that we all can "zero in" on the proper response to such vermin as the Zarqman.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to my search for the one disgruntled, agnst ridden teen who is capable of piloting this highly advanced one of a kind prototype giant robot I've been working on.

Digital Fortress said...

Congrats anonymous.

I, for one, would like to welcome our intergalactic overlords and I'd like to remind them that I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sulfur mines, I have had extensive training on the may uses of the Illudium PU-35 Space Modulator,and I make a mean empanada.

Republidan said...

Can you at least use alien technology to clone one for me which I can use for target practice? If you do I promise I'll start working out everyday so as to be an efficient slave in the mines!

fmragtops said...

Hey! Hey! Hey! This sycophancy sickens me! I'm the one true, sycophant!

Thank you, O mighty MoxArgon Group. It will be my pleasure to toil away in the petrolium mines, and occasionally make you laugh. This is the best blog written by an intergalactic tyrant. There should be an award for such things. Then again, once you take over the world you could give yourself a pullitzer, a nobel peace prize, and an Oscar.