10.29.2006

ASK REMULAK!

Greetings Puny Earthlings, it's me, your future lord and master Remulak MoxArgon, and I'm here to answer your questions.

It's just me today, because the others are too busy packing for our trip to Earth on October 31st.

Why?

Because it's a cheap excuse to get out of answering your silly Earthling questions, and they're bastards.

Our first batch of questions come from Republidan. He sure asked a lot of them, he's too curious, better make him an appointment with Doctor Probus. Question #1:

Will there be a mass exodus in the Republican party to libertarianism (like I hope happens seeing as I'm a libertarian now) or will the party finally get back to it's real conservative roots?

I'm afraid the Libertarian Party is doomed to the fringe, considering it is secretly run as a tax dodge by Android CAI/7. As for the Republican party, it will evolve from a traditional 'conservative' party to the party of taking things like Islamic terrorism seriously. Next question:

Are you sure that standing up against hate, tyranny and terror automatically make you a neo-con? It just seems that economic and political views would exempt them from this classification even if they won't tolerate terror.

Not in the mindset of folks who like to toss names like Neo-Con around. When the philosophy first arose it was viewed as a muscular, pragmatic, and yes even patriotic form of liberalism. But as the Left charges heedlessly into the abyss of insanity and self-loathing, it's become a home not only for sensible liberals, but conservatives as well. So in a way, the Neo-Con is the new centrist. Next up Republidan asked:

In all honesty... how much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

And the answer is that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, it won't be very much. They have stubby arms. They do make a very tasty stew according to my cousin who has probed a lot of folks in Arkansas. And Republidan's last question:

O, and is there any way that I can challenge snotglob to a duel?

The answer: You wouldn't want to do that. Snotglob's shell is pretty tough to crack with your puny Earthling weapons, and besides, under the rules of dueling, Snotglob would get choice of weapons, and since you don't have a brain-worm injecting appendage, you'd be screwed.

Up next, FMRagtops. He asks…

O Mighty Moxargon Group, conquerors of all they survey, is Nancy Pelosi in fact an alien in some sort of fake human skin?

We get asked that quite a bit. And the answer is that, yes, she is wearing a human skin, and she is a form of reptilian creature, but she is not an alien. She is, in fact, a semi-evolved velociraptor. And you should also keep your kittens and small children away from her when she's hungry.

Good stuff, O Intergalactic conquerer of conquerers. However, I must point out one mistake. It's not just fascists that ban speech they don't agree with, communists do it too.

This is about a note in our last video production where we say only fascists ban speech they don't agree with. Well it's not a mistake, and you're showing terrible impudence for claiming it is, because Communists are just fascists with better marketing. Hope that answers your question and we'll be paying a visit to your house for some 're-education.'

Up next is the publicly pondering RT with…

Can there only be one highlander?

Yes.

Hope that answers your question.

So if I slather myself with ground beef, cats will attack me? Is a man trying to send me to my room?

Well RT, I'm no expert on feline behavior, but I'm pretty sure Xran will attempt to lick you. So only do it if that's your particular fetish. As for being sent to your room, the answer's yes.

That Australian Imam has got something against having women around. I guess his idea of paradise is one of Wyatt Earp's 'Man Weekends.'

Up next is Damian G. with...

Is it just me, or has Snotglob become more Leftist?

Also, what are your thoughts on Media Matters for America?

To be specific, Snotglob has gotten dumber. We think there's something hinky in that stinky pit Snotglob calls home, but he's a liberal, and will never admit to making a mistake. That's why Democrats still love Clinton.

As for Media Matters, I really don't think of them at all.

Next up SeanS…

Overlord Moxargon,

Is Michael Fitch truly a hate-monger or is it simply a ploy to drive up his traffic?

The answer to that is yes, but only to Belgians, and yes, but only because he is desperately lonely and sad because he missed Wyatt's Man Weekend.

Up next is Anonymous (probably Michael Scheuer) with...

Whats the deal with you guys vis a vi cows and probes anyway? Can we bribe you to carry out a similar procedure on our MSM?

The cow mutilations are just us scoring some cheap beef for the bbq. And everyone in the galaxy knows the best way to scan a human mind is through the anus. As for the MSM, well, there are some places even I don't wanna go, because I know where some of them have been.

Our final question is from Rachel who asks…

Do you think Wyatt really secretly wanted me to change his blog template to pink?

That's for Wyatt to work out for himself.

So until next time, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

4 comments:

Republidan said...

But Snotglob is a liberal! He's not ALLOWED to fight back!

FIAR said...

I hate more than just the Belgians.

fmragtops said...

Moxargon is the all knowing, all seeing, all powerful master of all he surveys. Infallible and brilliant, Moxargon will bring the galaxy to it's knees. Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated.

jpm100 said...

I thought that was you will be consumed, but close enough.