4.12.2007

An Android Among the Stars #5

It's time for the latest in Hollywood headlines that you puny little meatbag Earthlings crave, so let's get going:

1. Director Kevin Smith (of Clerks fame) has announced that his next film will be a horror movie called RED STATE. The film will be a shocking and terrifying epic of the horror spread by 'Christian Evangelicals.'

To summarize, the monster will not be terrorists, or mutant, or even flesh eating aliens, the monster will be Ned Flanders. I offered a more accurate title but the studio rejected naming the movie BOX OFFICE FAILURE.

2. Rosie O'Donnell said something stupid. I don't have anything specific, I'm just guessing, but I know that I'm right.

3. Larry Birkhead was proven to be the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. I don't really care, and neither should you.

4. GRINDHOUSE ground to a halt at the box office thanks to poor scheduling, poor marketing, and poor word of mouth. The Weinstein Bros. who produced and released the film announced that they will take the experiment double feature and split it into two movies, thus turning one failure into 3 failures.

2 comments:

Rogue said...

Kevin Smith should make a movie entitled "How I Made a Complete Asshole outta Myself"

Harry L said...

The funniest thing I heard was that Harvey Weinstein said that many filmgoers were leaving Grindhouse after the first feature because they mistakenly believed that the movie was over. No, they left because it sucked!