An Android Among The Stars #10

Greetings organic sacks of meat, assorted fluids, and effluvia. It is time once again for you to bear witness to my continuing exile as the MoxArgon Group's Entertainment Reporter.

So here it is:

1. Paris Hilton has decided to stop "acting dumb." Judging from the fact that she has only just now realized how ridiculous she and her ilk really are, I do not think that she was "acting." She also claims to have found God in jail. God was unavailable to comment on this development.

2. Studios are expressing shock and disappointment that there recent batch of sequels and remakes aren't making as much money as they predicted. I am shocked and disappointed that anyone is willing to pay for such Antarean grebble droppings in the first place. So I guess we much agree to disagree.

3. Michael Moore is still a self-aggrandizing narcissist. I will update you if this situation changes, but I doubt it.

4. The Weinstein Company is showing off their vast intelligence by greatly expanding half of the box office turkey Grindhouse into a separate film called Death Proof. Perhaps they should come up with a different and more accurate title, like Success Proof or Money Proof. What I do not understand is why the Weinstein Bros. are still being given money when all they seem capable of doing is making horrendous money losers.

5. Actor Isaiah Washington was dropped from Grey's Anatomy most likely over calling someone he wasn't arguing with a "f*ggot" while arguing with someone else. While some would consider this oppression by the so-called PC Thought Police, I believe that it has more to do with a history of hostile and unprofessional behaviour on the part of Mr. Washington than the offensive word itself. Remember that he verbally abused a bystander while he was arguing with someone else over some over inflated triviality. He obviously has no anger or impulse control, and lacks basic manners and professionalism. Oh well, it's only a matter of time before he plays his race card and gets Al Sharpton protesting in front of ABC HQ.

6. Speaking of the race card: actor Wesley Snipes sniped at the IRS claiming that their tax case against is based solely on racial prejudice. If that's the best defense he has, he is well and truly guilty.

That is all for now.



Anonymous said...

Moxie, are you not using satire to make a larger point both politically and socially with your humor blog? This is exactly what Michael Moore is doing only on a much larger scale and he actually has the balls to confront the government head on.

Since The Weinstein Company co-founded Miramax Films with Disney (in 1979) until they left in 2005, I believe they are not hurting financially. I’m also willing to bet you have seen many of their films. On behalf of The Weinstein Company, we thank you for your monetary contribution.

Android CAI/7 said...

The Weinsteins aren't hurting. They're investors are. Grindhouse cost $100 million and lost most of it.

Derailed, Factory Girl, School for Scoundrels, Miss Potter, Breaking & Entering, Pulse, the Brothers Grimm, and other movies they've lavished hundreds of millions of Earth dollars on have all disappeared into the Wal-Mart discount bin without making a dent in theatres.

The only films to make modest profits were Sin City, and Clerks 2. And Sin City was the only Weinstein Company movie I saw since their split from Disney. And MoxArgon rented it for everyone because he's a Frank Miller fan.

As for Michael Moore, what sticks in my craw is that he tells his acolytes that his films are 100% true documentaries. But when confronted with his fibs, fabrications, and outright flim-flams, he then hides behind the skirts of satire, claiming that he doesn't really need real facts to make his 'humourous' point.

Jay said...

Android Cai/7, could you please check with your contacts and find out during which minute of her limited "jail time" Ms Hilton "found God"?

And if he was even aware she was looking?

Thanks for the further research.