News of the Earth #10: Lazy Day Edition

Greetings puny Earthlings. No group post today, most of the guys are spending some time with their families and mistresses before getting the little rug-rats packed off to school, or at least that's their excuse, and I'm feeling lazy.

So here's another NEWS OF THE EARTH!

MICHAEL VICK held his first news conference since pleading guilty to federal charges over his dog fighting ring. He said he was sorry and that he found Jesus. Jesus, like all of Vick's acquaintances, turned states evidence and declared that he was only sorry he was caught.

ATTORNEY GENERAL GONZALES RESIGNED but Congressional Democrats declared that they will keep up with their investigations of everything Gonzalez ever did since the first grade and he put a frog in Lucy Johnson's Gomer Pyle lunch-box. Thank God for that, if they didn't keep the subpoenas flying they might actually do something constructive.

IT WOULDN'T BE AN ELECTION without a CLINTON MONEY SCANDAL in the offing. It seems people are amazingly able to give more to Hillary's campaign than they can afford, and it all goes back to an old fundraising buddy of the Clintons. Phew, I was starting to get worried that she was getting off her game, but she still managed to pull it off.

SENATOR LARRY CRAIG (R-The Closet') declared to the planet Earth that he is not gay after being busted for lewd behaviour in an airport washroom. I don't see any reason for him to be happy after being publicly humiliated by being arrested in a freaking washroom....

... Oh, he's not happy kind of gay he's homosexual kind of gay.


I don't care if anyone's a homosexual, heterosexual, or trysexual, as long as their behaviour involves strictly consenting adults, but being busted trolling for tail in a freaking public bathroom is the sort of thing a washed up celebrity would do to get in a gossip rag, not a Senator, or anyone with an actual job. Sweet mother of monkeys, doesn't Washington have some sort of discreet service to handle that kind of thing?

And when he got busted, he tried to bully his way out of the charge by swinging his Senatorial schlong around, thus making it an even bigger story.

That transcends simple stupid into complete and total idiocy.

He should be tossed out of the Senate, and out of the Republican Party, not for being gay, but for thinking through his zipper and acting like a Democrat.

That's all for now, as I said, I'm feeling lazy, so keep watching the skies, because we might be watching you...


UPDATE: According to the ABC news coverage that I watched on the hyperwave link-- the 'signal' Senator Craig allegedly gave for homosexual sex was that he tapped his foot when he went into a stall.

He tapped his foot. He didn't say: "Hello sailor, looking for a good time." or "I could really go for some dirty bathroom man on Senator action," or "Wanna see my Washington Monument?" He just tapped his foot, that was 'the signal.'

That makes the whole 'gay' thing a bit on the iffy side now, but it doesn't excuse his attempts to use his Senatorial status to worm out of it, when he should have hired a lawyer, and let them bully the case into oblivion, that's the American way.

The more I hear of the story, the more I think it's a case of an overreacting cop meeting an overreacting Senator.

And another question. Why did the media sit on the story for 3 months?

Was the Senator's recent leftward tack a strategy to get the press on his side.

As Drudge says...


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