Reality Check!: A Modest Proposal for the Teddy Bear Problem

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, and I'd like to take a moment to talk about that whole Gillian Gibbons- Mohammed the Teddy Bear controversy.

It appears that Ms. Gibbons has been sentenced to 15 days in prison, then deportation for the egregious crime of allowing seven year old children to name a bear after their favourite prophet. That is if the government can protect her instead of tossing her to the usual Islamic mob screaming for blood, death, and horror for this offense.

Now some folks have criticized Gibbons for not being 'sensitive' to Islamic sensibilities, and that deep down it's really all her fault and not the fault of the bloodthirsty mob waiting to hack her to pieces in the name of Allah.

Those folks are wrong.

Do you know whose fault this really is?

It's all the children's fault.

That's right.

It was their idea to name the bear Mohammed, knowing full well that anything named after the prophet that can't be associated with mass murder is an offense that must be punished with torture and death.

Poor Ms. Gibbons probably had that silly Christian assumption that if children wanted to name a bear Jesus, it was a cutesy innocent form of expressing their love for Jesus.

She couldn't see the trap the Sudanese children had set for her. She didn't know that innocent love has no place in Wahabi Islam.

So here's my modest proposal to end this situation.

As penance for allowing the children to trap her into blasphemy, Ms. Gibbons must murder all the children.

It's the only way to properly restore the honour of the prophet.
If it's blood he demands, then he should get the blood of the people whose idea it was to dishonour him.

So Sudan, quit hanging around the prison waving your scimitars and let the woman give a properly Wahabi Islamic solution to a uniquely Wahabi Islamic problem.

It is all the children's fault, cut their heads off.


Anonymous said...

I knew there was a viable alternative to 15 days in jail!

Anonymous said...

Oh, master Remulak, don't you have a laser Death Ray (tm) that you can use from orbit around the earth to incinerate all of the idiots like those Muslims that wanted to kill the teacher who was involved in the teddy bear "controversy"? Maybe when you do that, you can recharge that Death Ray(tm) and then start using it on all of the world's lefties?

-- chicopanther