1.12.2008

Huckabee-otch...

Okay, I can be as religious and right-wing as the next guy, but there's something about Mike Huckabee that sticks in my second craw.

Maybe it's the fact that he's basically a pro-life Democrat who has never met a murderer who didn't deserve clemency posing as
a Republican, or that he has his sticky-fingered hand out all the time.

So in the tradition of Mike Huckabee's milking of the Chuck Norris facts for cheap publicity. I'm starting a new line of Amazing Mike Huckabee facts, and I want YOU all five of my readers to contribute Huckabee facts which I will post on this site and then use to land a book deal and leave this dump of a blog...

Was that out loud?


Anyway, post your Huckabee facts in the comments. There are only two rules:

1. Know one talks about Fight Club.

2. Facts must be funny, and not childishly insulting. If they're childishly insulting, and funny, we'll talk.


So let me get the ball rolling:

AMAZING MIKE HUCKABEE FACTS #1:

Mike Huckabee has plans for Usama Bin Ladin. He's gonna find him, and hit him with the biggest clemency the world has ev
er seen.

Huckabee's name is ancient Anglo-Saxon for "He who has his hand out all the time."

Mike Huckabee doesn't hate Mormons. He just wants people who hate Mormons to vote for him.

Huckabee plays the bass, sadly knowing that bass players never get a girl that looks like this...
Mike Huckabee applied to the EPA to be classified as an endangered RINO.

REAL FACT: This video is not fake.



Watch more of the story, done by Canadian comedian Rick Mercer as part of his Talking To Americans routine.



Now keep watching the skies because we're watching you, and make with the facts...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mike Huckabee is the role model for all of those obnoxious youngsters who are trained to ring people's door bells and ask "Are you saved?"

Anonymous said...

Mike Huckabee was the actor who portrayed Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver. He drew mostly on his own experience and personality for the role.

Anonymous said...

Mike Huckabee was the illegitimate love child of Jerry Falwell and Margaret Dumont.

jpm100 said...

Mike Huckabee's mind powers of deception are so great, he's bent the will of Chuck Norris and made him his personal attendant.

Mike Huckabee really hasn't ever lost weight. He fattened the people of Arkansas up with government spending so Mike looks slim.

Mike Huckabee's hospitality is known all the way to Mexico. In fact he never met an illegal immigrant he didn't like. How can he afford all this hospitality? He never met a tax he didn't like, either.

jpm100 said...

The Christian candidate, Mike Huckabee, want you to know that although he loves Christianity and being a Christian, it shouldn't be important in his campaign. According to his Christian upbringing and Christian education we shouldn't be too hard on non-Christians that are also running for office in this very Christian nation, built upon Christianity.

jpm100 said...

Did I forget to mention Mike was a Baptist minister?

Damian G. said...

Huck Huckabee: His liberalism isn't Left behind.