3.25.2008

Point/Counterpoint - No No Mamet

SNOTGLOB- Hi Earthlings. It's time for another edition of Point-Counterpoint. I'm Snotglob T. Mutant from the Left and Tektak is on assignment, so filling in for him is playwright and filmmaker David Mamet.

MAMET- How's it going.

SNOTGLOB- I must say Mr. Mamet that I'm a huge fan of your work. I almost sat through all of Glengarry Glen Ross.

MAMET- Thanks.

SNOTGLOB- Wait a minute. You're sitting on the right side of the desk.

MAMET- Yeah, I guess, I recently came out that I can no longer be a brain dead liberal.

SNOTGLOB- Worthless hack. Joe Ezterhaz is a better writer!

MAMET- F-ck you too. Let's get to the first topic. It looks like Hillary Clinton was caught fibbing, her natural state, about snipers taking potshots at here in Tuzla.

SNOTGLOB- She misspoke, she was tired, she was anxious--

MAMET- She was lying! Snotglob you f-cking ignorant hermaphodite slut. The only time she f-cking mis-speaks is when she accidentally tells the truth. You're not even getting the steak knives tonight.

SNOTGLOB- What? She's not lying, she just has a talent for fiction.

MAMET- Don't steal my f-cking line and tell us what's next f-cking topic?

SNOTGLOB- Let me have some coffee...

MAMET- Put that f-cking coffee down. Coffee is for closers!

SNOTGLOB- Close what?

MAMET- Whether you're writing plays, making movies, or being a political pundit you have to A-B-C! Alway be closing! Always be closing!

SNOTGLOB- What are you talking about?

MAMET- A-I-D-A! Attention! Interest! Decision! Action! You have to get people's attention, keep their attention by being interesting, make a decision, and then take some action!

SNOTGLOB- I'm a liberal, I don't do decisions or action.

MAMET- I'll read the next f-cking topic. Let's see, China's still picking on Tibet, what a bunch of f-cking pr-cks.

SNOTGLOB- I'm sure the People's Republic of China has their reasons.

MAMET- What kind of reason do you need to invade and oppress the only f-cking country that has never tried to f-cking conquer anyone else. Are you taking stupid pills?

SNOTGLOB- I only take organic vitamins.

MAMET- I did this as a favour for Tektak, but this isn't worth it.

SNOTGLOB- You know Tektak?

MAMET- My first gig was a script assistant on his old show Family Units. But that was a long time ago, and he's going to have find someone else to put up with this sh-t, I'm f-cking outta here.

(David Mamet leaves)

SNOTGLOB- That's all we have time for today. Stay on point, or something like that.

3 comments:

RT said...

Read the article. It was really interesting. I like how he explained his thought process and how he allowed himself to think clearly--not just sticking to what he believed he was, but really trying to understand what he believes.

Interesting.

I've seen some changes in some self-described ardent liberals, with whom I work. Because of changes in their lives (family/marriage/more money) they seem to be getting a little more conservative in their ideas and they are *gasp* admitting it. That's the fun part to watch. The uber-liberals who blindly walk their beliefs (as many conservatives do, too) are shrieking in terror. Ok, not that bad, but when faced with the changed hearts, they spout the memorized mantra of the left.

Wyatt Earp said...

I'm glad Mamet switched, "because it's f*ck or walk."

Anonymous said...

One correction, Tibetans around AD 700 sacked Beijing. They've conducted raids on and off into China since around 1000 AD (at least recorded raids) whenever China is weak. The last recorded raid though was sometime in the late 1700's.

The view of the peaceful and humble Tibetans though is just that, a naive view. Not that the Chinese are right to have conquered them, or essentially replaced their language and way of life. But I am not unsympathetic to the Chinese rebuttal that hereditary god kings are no way to run a people. Not that Beijing is any better.

My caution would be that it would be a mistake to canonize Tibetans or the Dalai Lama. Despite what Richard Gere thinks.