5.26.2008

Douchebags of the Week... Erratically Scheduled Edition...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Time for another edition of our incorrectly titled DOUCHEBAGS OF THE WEEK!!!

1. FRANCE 2 TV: The French public broadcaster recently had their libel suit against media watchdog Phillipe Karsenty shot down by an appeals court because they were a bunch of lying douchebags. You see, France 2 first broadcast, and then maintained the myth of "Mohammed Al-Dura" a mythical Palestinian boy they claimed was killed by Israeli sharpshooters. When Karsenty challenged their story because independent investigators couldn't find proof that Al-Dura even existed, let alone got shot by Israeli troops who were aiming away from him, they sued for libel. If they had any testicular fortitude they'd have released the whole tape, and not just the snippets for their modern blood libel.

2. THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA: For completely ignoring the 31,000+ scientists who signed a petition declaring man-made Global Warming and the profiteering and fear mongering around it as bunkum. And let's not forget the constant stream of gaffes coming from Barack Obama, if he was a Republican, we'd never hear the end of it, but since he's a Democratic, we'll never see it at all.

3. HILLARY CLINTON: For publicly pondering the assassination of her rival in a Freudian slip. One thing I can assure you Earthlings, is that Hillary will not be using the Gul-Hak Order of Triluria XII for the job. They expect to be paid, something Hillary's campaign isn't very keen on lately.

4. JIMMY CARTER: He's bound to have done something douchebaggy this week. It's as certain as the sunrise.

5. JOHN KERRY: For thinking that talking to the sexist, homophobic, imperialist theocrats of Iran would somehow gain "the moral high ground."

6. STEVEN SODERBERGH: For making a bloated 5 1/2 hour biopic of Che Guevera, and deliberately leaving out the racism, sexism, homophobia, and let's not forget homicidal aspects of his subject. Then having the chutzpah to blame his moral cowardice on conservatives, saying that it would be impossible to please them. How about telling a little bit of truth, that would have been enough.

So remember, if you see yourself on this list, then...
That's all for now, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

1 comment:

Purple Raider said...

Yeah, I'd talk to Amadinnerjacket.

Two words. Drop Dead.

End of negotiations.