6.18.2008

Douchebags of the Week... Stop the Presses Edition!

1. The Associated Press: Not only for their regular lack of judgment, objectivity, and integrity, but for their recent decision to charge bloggers $2.50 a word for fair-use quoting them. I guess it's their strategy to stop bloggers from regularly fisking them into oblivion. But it's a double edged sword, because the only time people seem to read AP stories is when they're being fisked.

2. Al Gore: For his preachin and screechin and for having an appetite for electricity bigger than Android CAI-7's. He's now using something like 22 times the amount of electricity used by the average American home. What the hell is he doing there? Despite his appearance, I know he's not a robot, so that leaves grow-op, basement sweat-shop, or some sort of laser cannon.

3. House Democrats: For fighting all oil drilling, refinery expansion, and nuclear power, and threatening to nationalize the oil industry as "punishment" for profits. They are dead set determined to completely cripple the US economy.

4. John Murtha: For betraying his country, his oath, and his Corps by making egregious and now proven false accusations of murder against the "Haditha Marines." His only defence for his treachery is that he served in Vietnam, well then I'm tempted to then ask him: "Which side?"

5. MoveOn.Org: For it's delightfully wretched, factually inaccurate, and downright laughable: "John McCain don't take my baby!" ad.

If you find yourself on this list, then...
Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

You douchebags.

6 comments:

Marvin said...

Al Gore's use of electricity is so large, it rivals that of pot grow houses. Maybe he is actually a pod person, and he has rows and rows of his people growing under heat lamps. These will all emerge to vote democrat in some future election.

Snotglob probably gave him the technology.

Remulak MoxArgon said...

Good theory, I put it in the poll in the side-bar.

jpm100 said...

"I know he's not a robot"

Are you sure about that? If he was, it would explain a lot.

Anonymous said...

Thank you great one, for taking the time of listening to the humble theory of one such as myself. Does this mean I won't be evaporated or enslaved when you finally get around to conquering the earth?

Marvin said...

I meant to leave my name on that last post. Guess I am back on the evaporation list.

Remulak MoxArgon said...

Marvin-

We are not barbarians, we do not evaporate people willy-nilly. Because you can't extract any nutrients from evaporated people.