6.20.2008

REALITY CHECK: DON'T EAT MY BABY JOHN MCCAIN!

Greetings puny Earthlings. Time for Remulak MoxArgon to dispense some of his intergalactic wisdom.
This lady did an ad for MoveOn.Org to tell the world that she does not want John McCain to take away her baby and send it to Iraq.

Okay, I'm sure she's a nice lady, though she could use a better conditioner, and she probably believes in her bleeding little heart that she means well, but she's not that, what's the word...
bright.

So she needs a little reality check.

10 REASONS WHY YOUR AD IS STUPID

1. McCain was not promising 100 years of war.

2. McCain was only saying that he would see the mission, destroying Al Qaida, through to the end and not hiding under the bed and hoping the enemy goes away like some politicians are promising.

3. He was also referring to the ongoing protective presence of American forces in Germany and Japan, when World War 2 (Look it up at your local library) ended OVER 60 EARTH YEARS AGO.

4. McCain will not be president when your son becomes eligible for military service in about 18 years. A combination of term limits and human mortality will ensure that, unless he puts his brain in a cyborg body and declares himself king. But that is highly unlikely.

5. If the US Military doesn't have an effective and affordable Killbot program within 18 Earth years to do all the dirty work, you really are a puny planet full of wretched simpletons.

6. The US Military is an ALL VOLUNTEER FORCE. And those who run the military like it that way. The only way a draft will come back is if the Democrats return to power, and get themselves into another hole. Now your son might wish to join the military simply to get away from attending another MoveOn all-vegan potluck dinner.

7. Even if McCain was pledging 100 years of open war, it would be very tricky to keep a war going for so long, especially when the enemy (Islamic Fundamentalists) insist on dying in such large numbers. Trust me, I know. I had to clone the Blood-mongers of Trasmidia 8 just to keep that little war going through to the end of the fiscal year. Not even Earth's Hundred Years War was actually a single war, and most of the time was spent in transportation and long boring sieges.

8. By the time your child is 18, fighting Islamic jihadis will be the least of your worries, since my Empire will be sending its first scouting missions to test the efficacy, or lack thereof, of Earthling Killbots.

9. A question to ask yourself: Do you really believe that Islamic Jihadis will leave America alone just because Obama pulls out of Iraq and gave the Gitmo gang community service sentences? Because if you do, you should have your child taken away by Child Protective Services, to make sure you don't mistake a plugged in toaster for a tub-toy.

10. Another question to ask yourself: Why is the MoveOn organisation so willing to be cravenly maudlin and intellectually dishonest to help a cause that openly seeks to destroy the society that allows them be so cravenly maudlin and intellectually dishonest?


Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

6 comments:

Marvin said...

I think if we can keep the war going for a couple more years, we will have victory, and the whole thing will sputter out. Of course the dems want to pull our troops out before that is possible...

One thing that is obvious, until Iran tastes a massive air-bombardment campaign, there will not be peace in Iraq. We should move in three stages.

Stage One, Destroy Iran's military forces.

Stage Two, Destroy their ability to make weapons, including WMDs.

Stage Three, blow up their power grid every time there is an attack on American troops in Iraq, traced back to Iran. An American soldier dies, no one has lights in Tehran for a month. Eventually the people, including the inner circle of clerics who run the country, will tire of sitting around in the dark.

Chris C said...

#11. Is that her kid and is she a professional actress?

jpm100 said...

The Democrats are working on destroying the force we have now.

They are offering many benefits in full after a few years of service, rather than pro-rating them to length of service.

They are inhibiting the transfer of benefits to surviving spouses.

Two features of the recent Webb legislation to make people not want to stay long term in the military and encourage people to enter who are there for a quick stint to get the benefits and will probably freak out if called to war.

I'm for increasing benefits to the military, but like any employer, you don't encourage people to quit early if you think experience and commitment matter. So there's nothing wrong with tying benefits to service. If you want, make combat duty count as double time.

The volunteer military works too well and they plan to change that under the guise of generosity.

Wyatt Earp said...

I can't believe anyone knocked up that ugly broad.

I'm just sayin'.

susieq2cute said...

I hope at 18, her kid may decide what he wants for himself. Or is he going to be a momma's boy all his life?

Anonymous said...

If that is really her kid (doubtful) some meddling social worker somewhere should take the kid away as the mother is clearly guilty of child abuse.

What kid would want a moron like her for its mother?

-- chicopanther