The Gore-y Truth About Truth...

A VIEW FROM THE
AFTERLIFE
COMMENTARY
BY
GORE VIDAL

(Author, Essayist, McCain Truther)

Wait a minute!

I am not dead you pack of pusillanimous poltroons!

(Sorry, it's just that you're on my digital ouija board--Vox Poplar)

I use a ouija board to talk to people who still think I'm relevant. Now can we start over.

(Sure, no problem, take two-- Vox Poplar)

A SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY
BY
GORE VIDAL
(Al Gore's Cousin)

Hello peasantry of the United States of America. It is I, Gore Vidal, America's greatest living author, and I'm here to tell you the truth.

Now some folks in the crypto-fascist right wing hate machine are going after over some comments I made in an interview with the New York Times. I did not call the Rethuglikkkan candidate for dictator John McCain a liar about his time in Vietnam, I merely pointed out that he is the only source of this information, and since he is a Rethuglikkkan, he must be lying.

That is what they do, about everything.

They lied about Saddam Hussein, who was a very nice fellow according to my friend Michael Moore, the lied about Osama Bin Ladin, and they lied us into wars that America is losing and will keep losing for 100 years against the glorious freedom fighters of Islamic democracy and freedom.

McCain was an Annapolis man, and we all know what navy men are like, all rum, sodomy and the lash. I can just picture them, sweat glistening on their taut muscular bodies as they swab the poop deck...

What was I talking about?

Oh, right, McCain being a liar.

Well, I am assured that there is no evidence of McCain's service in Vietnam, or of his being imprisoned for all those years, which is mighty convenient in my opinion.

What does he have to show as proof, a few scars, some crippling injuries, the words of people who rather conveniently claim to have been his captors?

Please.

I suspect they are all Republican Nazi sympathizers, participating in this foul charade. I doubt that the son and grandson of an admiral would be allowed to fight in a war, if that war actually happened, and then be allowed to be taken prisoner. Muscles rippling as he struggled against his chains, the guards smiling as they prepare to indulge in their...

Where was I, I seemed to have lost my train of thought.

Anyway, let us not be duped by these foul lies of service and sacrifice, when McCain probably wasted his life writing novels and essays very few people actually read and chasing swarthy sailors on the Amalfi Coast.

So remember, never trust a Republican, they are violent, homophobic, fundamentalist warmongers, the exact opposite of decent humane people like.... um.... Osama Bin Ladin.

Anyway, I have to go, I rented Top Gun to see some real navy heroes... play volleyball....