6.14.2008

Smear My Dear

Barack Obama's campaign has started a website called Fightthesmears or something like that, and its purpose is to "debunk" the various and sundry "smears" put out by "the right-wing hate-machine," and its latest addition, the Hillary Campaign.

Since I am a firm believer in job creation and a member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, I have decided to make up a whole bunch of new smears for the Obama campaign to waste time debunking.

So let's get started:

- Barack Obama is NOT a secret Muslim. To be a secret Muslim would mean that he actually believes in something outside his own lust for power.

- If you trick him into saying Amabo Kcarab he will be whisked back to his home dimension.

- The change he pledges is a sex-change to be done before his inauguration so he claim to be both the first black, and female president.

- The hope he promises is for terrorists, dictators, and foreign oil plutocrats.

- Barack Obama joined Rev. Wright's church because the Reverend Jim Jones was dead.

- Obama's deepest fears are white Christians, Global Warming, that thing lurking in his closet, talk radio, Michelle Obama when she's mad, and the Smurfs.

- Obama thinks the Jewish Lobby is a room in the Israeli Embassy.

- Obama is planning to pull troops from Iraq and Afghanistan to send them on a new mission to hunt those "Little blue bastards" he's sure are lurking in mushroom patches the world over.

- Obama is going to conclude his acceptance speech at the Democratic convention by tearing off his mask, revealing his true identity as Jimmy Carter.

Do you have any similar smears to add to the soup?

Drop some in the comments and keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

1 comment:

Chris C said...

"- Obama is going to conclude his acceptance speech at the Democratic convention by tearing off his mask, revealing his true identity as Jimmy Carter."

Then Carter will rip off HIS mask revealing he is in fact Karl Marx.