The Cafferty Bile: Palin, Palin, Palin...

Good evening and welcome to the Cafferty File, I'm Jack Cafferty, still on my quest to make Keith Olbermann look like a real journalist.

Today, Octogenarian Republican Fuhrer John McCain named his choice to be the person to be crushed by the awesome god-like aura of Obama-Biden in the presidential election.

No wait, that's Tina Fey, sorry about that.

CAN WE GET THE RIGHT GODDAMN PICTURE UP?

There she is, according to the notes my assistant gave me, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, which I believe is Eskimo for the Frostbitten Asshole of America.

Now she's younger than Barack Obama. So I'm going broadly declare that she not only drinks the blood of babies, but is also less experienced than Barack Obama and will most likely destroy the country if elected, because we all know McCain will fall over dead the day after his inauguration.

Ah, Jack, she is a governor, and that means that she actually has real executive experience. Something Obama doesn't has since he's been solely a legislator his entire political career, and has never actually managed anything.

BARACK OBAMA HAS EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE! DAMN IT WHO SENT YOU? FOX NEWS?

What executive experience?

WHADDYA MEAN "WHAT EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE?"

What did he do?

Well....

Well...

Ummm....

He ran the Chicago Annenberg Challenge. He dispensed a hundred million dollars of federal, state, and private funds to improve Chicago schools. So top that sucker.

Jack?

Yes?

We're not allowed to mention the Chicago Annenberg Challenge because Obama was working with Bill Ayers on that, and Chicago schools didn't improve one bit. He won't let anyone look at the Chicago Annenberg Challenge files.

WHY WASN'T I TOLD ABOUT THIS!

It was in the morning talking points briefing Jack.

DAMN IT! I WAS STUCK IN THE CAN BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN BREAKFAST BURRITO!

Just get to the question Jack, and maybe people won't remember this talk, and they prefer to be called Inuit, not Eskimo, which they consider racist.

Eskimos can kiss my...

Just do the damn question, you've dug a deep enough hole.


Here's our question CNN viewers, so let us know what you think, and if you support the Democrats you might get read on the air. Our question is:

How is Sarah Palin worse than Hitler?

Leave your answers in the comments, or just vote Democrat, because McCain is the reincarnation of Hitler. He really is. Good night.