1.31.2009

And By Corpulent I Mean...

A SPECIAL
GUEST COMMENTARY BY
PAUL BEGALA
(CNN Contributor & Democratic Flack)

A lot of Crypto-fascists on the right (translation: NAZI!) side of the blogosphere are viciously smearing me because I dared to speak truth to power and declare that the real leader of the GOP is Rush Limbaugh who I also called a "corpulent drug addict."

Well, you can't say that I didn't speak the truth, Rush does have a weight problem, and he did come clean about his addiction to prescription drugs and got help for it. So I am fully justified in my smearing of him.

Of course the baby blood drinking war-mongering oil stealing sheep molesting crypto-nazis are taking this as some sort of license to call our glorious President (hopefully for life), the wonderful and god-like Barack Obama a "skinny coke-head" just because the fragrant Obama has a slender build... sweat glistening off his taught muscles as he works out... grunting heavily, thrusting his... Oh was that out loud?

And yes President Obama has admitted to using cocaine, as well as other drugs in the past, but that's a different story.

And there's too reasons for that.

1. Barack Obama is a Democrat.

2. Barack Obama is black.

So anyone who brings up his past drug use is not only a fascist for using real information against a Democrat, but also a racist.

DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A FREAKING CHART!!!

Now a lot of people are wondering exactly why I'm picking on Rush Limbaugh. Or to be more exact, picking on him more.

Well, I'm pushing for the fairness doctrine.

You see Rush Limbaugh is still the #1 talk radio host in the country, and has a contract that probably makes him the highest paid man in radio.

I want a piece of that action.

Which is why I want a new version of the fairness doctrine put in place so I have to become Rush's co-host by court order, and get half of his money.

Then when I drive all his ratings away, and get the show cancelled, I can then apply for a big fat federal bailout and retire. All the while making sure that no one realizes that the real boss of the Democratic Party, is an elderly convicted insider trader who hates America and western democracy who profits from causing political chaos.

No comments: