1.28.2009

Time For Your January 28th Reality Check!

Greetings puny Earthlings. Remulak MoxArgon here to dish out a little of that special wisdom one gets when they're a couple of notches above you on the intergalactic food chain.

1. GUANTANAMO BAY: Obama has signed an executive order to close the prison for terrorists within a year. I think this order says a lot about Obama and the future of his administration. He did it to make himself feel morally superior, and to please groups like ACORN who made his presidency possible, but he left out something that some folks might think is important.

WHERE DO THEY GO AFTER GITMO?

Remember, these are not ordinary prisoners of war who served under a legitimate and sovereign nation state according to the rules of civilized war, nor are they common criminals who only need a clip on the ear and a mind controlling Tridorian brain slug to rehabilitate them. These are people who consciously chose to become enemies of humanity.

They did not wear uniforms, they deliberately targetted civilians, and if given another chance they'd kill, and kill, and kill, until they themselves are killed.

Of course Obama is not without options, so let's take a look at them.

1. Send them back to their home countries.

PRO: They will no longer be America's problem.

CON: Most of the countries they'd be sent to will just put them right back in the fight.

2. Take them into America for trial.

PRO: It'll make millions for Democratic supporting trial lawyers when they win a massive "wrongful imprisonment" settlement from the Federal Government after making sure that at least one Kos Kid gets on the jury to hang it.

CON: Any prison they're in will become a target for every jihadi and jihadi wannabe in the world, and will be under constant attack to either free or martyr the prisoners. And what will America do with them after their let off because the evidence against them was acquired under the "torture" of US guards not wearing white gloves when handling their Koran? Give them citizenship?

3. Mass executions.

PRO: Solves the problem pretty quickly, and then it's just a toss over the fence, and they're Castro's problem. And guess what, it's not illegal under the Geneva Convention. Since they are not legitimate soldiers, fighting under the rules of war, they are not under the protection of those same rules.

CON: Obama's supporters will promptly shit kittens. Which might not be a con if you think about it.

So there you have it, a fuzzy pseudo-feel good policy, with little or no thought of the consequences. That really bodes well for your future.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.
____________

PS: Porkchop of the website Dumb Information asked how we get so many wonderful interviews and guest commentaries by celebrities and political figures. Well, it's easy when you're the ruler of the Universe, and always keep a jar of Tridorian brain slugs on hand. Of course, not every blogger has my immense resources, and probably just fake it anyway.

I hope that answers your question.

3 comments:

cmblake6 said...

Superb enlightenment, Oh Galactic One. Kill 'em all, Let God sort "em out.

cmblake6 said...

p.s. Where am I on the blogroll? *AHEM* If mine's not there, it by MoxArgon hisseff should be!

Anonymous said...

What to do with the terrorists who are imprisoned at Gitmo? The solution is simple! Just escort them to the beach, stand them at the edge of the ocean, point towards Mecca, and tell them to start swimming! They won't even have to worry about sharks due to "professional courtesy."

--chicopanther