1.26.2009

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

A SPECIAL
GUEST COMMENTARY BYJOHN STEWART
HOST OF THE DAILY SHOW

Okay, I was over at P. Diddy's place in the Hamptons for drinks last week when fellow guest Susan Sarandon said that she heard that the fascist war criminal Rush Limbaugh declared that he hoped our new glorious leader Barack Obama would fail.

I was amazed to hear that she listened to Rush Limbaugh, but she quickly calmed my shocked nerves by saying that she didn't actually hear it herself, but read about it on the Media Matters website.

Well, I was shocked and appalled that Limbaugh would actually hope that are new President (Gloried Be His Name) would fail. Sure, his defenders among the Hitler youth of the blogosphere say that Limbaugh wasn't wishing for Obama to fail, only any attempt to recreate the old New Deal policies of the 1930s would fail.

Well that doesn't matter!

By opposing the glorious Obama in any way is arguably treasonous! If Obama chooses to rehash policies that only lengthened and worsened the Great Depression in the USA, then it is the only right thing to do. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO QUESTION HIM!

And I'm sure that Limbaugh will hide behind "free speech" and say something like "dissent is the highest form of patriotism."

Dissent is not the highest form of patriotism, blind obedience to Obama is.

Obama has finally broken the chains that have bound this country for the past eight years. People like me, who have spent all that time bashing Bush on television, are now free to speak their minds, and we're saying that you have no right to speak out against Obama or his policies.

And if you think I'm not serious, then just look at what I'm sacrificing. I built my entire career, nay my life, on mocking Bush in wry, ironic ways, and that's something I cannot do to Obama.

Now that we have achieved perfection in government, I'm still going to attack Bush in wry, ironic ways, even though it will probably kill my career. Because if I dare to make fun of our glorious leader, his friends, or his policies I will not only be a traitor, but a racist.

Remember, despite what the constitution says, free speech is not a right, it's a priviledge best handled by priviledged people like me. Anyone else doing it is in danger of committing thoughtcrime, and we can't have that.

3 comments:

Porkchop said...

Howdy MoxArgon,

i have been a loyal reader of your Brilliance for quite a while now...

i try my own luck with the web at www.dumbinformation.com but i cant seem to get the big names you do for interviews (which tend to be pretty good by the way)

is there any way that someone who is not the Ruler of the Universe get some of these people to help build the numbers on their site?

cmblake6 said...

Ja! Der Obamajugend will RULE!

Anonymous said...

I have a question. Who the Hell is Jon Stewart? Is he related to Martha in any way?

--chicopanther