TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL!!!

A SPECIAL
MOMENT
OF
TRUTH
COMMENTARY
BY
SUZE ORMAN

professional financial guru

Damn.

First I say that George W. Bush should have his family fortune taken away from him as punishment for the financial crisis and now I find myself locked in some magic metal tube that smells vaguely like ham, that makes me only able to tell the truth.

Well the truth is I don't like speaking the truth.

Especially about this.

Because speaking the truth can cost me big time.

I went after Bush because I don't want anyone coming after me.

You see, I hyped real-estate, I hyped the market, I hyped just about everything that's turned to turds in the last year, but I don't want people to know that.

Plus, I've seen what happened to Jim Cramer when he criticized the Obama/Pelosi budget. Suddenly he got blamed for everything, and trust me, they are not going to stop until they have hounded him out of house and home.

I don't want that happening to me.

I have a swanky lifestyle I'd like to keep.

I got a Manhattan apartment that's worth about 10% what I paid for it!

I need to keep the money coming in and to do that I need to kiss ass sometimes. Remember, if Oprah suddenly pulls her seal of approval, I'm shitting in a shoe-box under the overpass, because without her blessing, I won't even be able to keep those crappy infomercials I have posing as public service shows running on PBS pledge breaks.

Oprah likes Obama, and if Obama wants to violate the constitution to use taxes to punish AIG executives for getting bonuses he and the Senate agreed to, all the while the Federal Reserves prints money it can't back, a policy last seen in Zimbabwe.

So yeah, I don't really believe that Bush is responsible for the meltdown, but attacking those who are responsible, could get me targetted by a special "punishment tax" and I can't afford that.

Now let me out of this tube!