4.22.2009

Random Reality Checks....

Greetings puny Earthlings. It's time for a few of my patented reality checks.

1. Perez Hilton is on a one man crusade against Miss California USA for having the same opinion of gay marriage as President Barack Obama. Which raises three questions that I think I have the answer for:

QUESTION A: For Perez Hilton, if that is your real name-- What would be your reaction if the Christian Churches tried to pass laws to force gays to marry each other?

ANSWER A: Naturally he'd freak out, screaming about violations of rights, and the freedom of choice, and he'd be right. Now no one is trying to take away any rights same-sex partners have to all the rights and benefits of couples, common law takes care of that, but the demand for control of the word "marriage" is simply a ploy by the radical fringe to eventually use the power of the state to force churches to perform ceremonies they believe violate their religious beliefs. Thus shredding the one of the core principles of not only the US constitution, but the key liberties of the Known Universe.

Remember, Connecticut is currently trying to take away the power to appoint bishops away from the Catholic Church and give it to a state-appointed board of political hacks. You don't think they're operating from the same mindset of the gay marriage activists, hoping to put spirituality under state control?

QUESTION B: For the Miss USA organizers-- Why did you appoint a blogger most famous for putting crudely drawn genitalia on pictures of celebrities next to gossip items that most supermarket tabloids wouldn't see fit to print as a judge for a beauty pageant?

ANSWER B: Because they didn't want crudely drawn genitalia pasted onto pictures of pageant organizers and hosts.

QUESTION C: For Perez Hilton-- Why does having the same opinion on a topic as Barack Obama, a candidate you endorsed, make Miss California Evil, and Obama the font of all good?

ANSWER C: Because being called a racist by Keith Olbermann or any of the other pet poodles of the administration will not get you a spot as a judge on a beauty pageant, or invited to any of the parties he writes about on his blog.

At least we can take comfort that getting asked to judge a beauty pageant officially puts Perez Hilton at fourteen minutes, fifty-nine seconds in the old Warholian Fame Clock.

2. Sometimes I hate being right all the time. It looks like Obama, in keeping with his tradition of spinelessness has opened the door to prosecuting Bush administration officials over the so-called "torture memos."

I knew this would happen. The Tea Parties revealed serious grass-roots opposition to his corporatist-socialist policies, his lily-livered foreign policy of treating enemies like allies, and allies like enemies, have accomplished nothing but a few photo-ops, and people are starting to notice that he is an empty suit.

He has no choice but to start prosecuting people in the Bush Administration. He needs to both mollify his supporters, who are upset by Obama inheriting the victory in Iraq, and to distract the general public from the fact that he's managed to wedge his head up his own ass when it comes to securing the country in the time of an "overseas contingency operation" from "person-caused disasters." Because the moment that inevitable mass terrorist attack occurs, people will be calling for his impeachment, he needs to have the Bush Administration on trial for "war crimes" so he can point and say: "Hey, don't blame me, the main reason Manhattan's a radioactive crater is because Bush had Khalid Sheikh Mohammed water-boarded!"

It will also help to silence opposition, because they'll know that Napolitano is not above using the power of the Homeland Security apparatus to use against those who dissent from Obama's new American order. Opposition will be criminalized, and no doubt arrests will be coming.

Well, I do have to give him credit, he works fast.

3. Today is Earth Day, meaning the airwaves will be full of all sorts of global warming horseshit.

Before you attend the latest rally to ban Dihydrogen Monoxide, please check out this article about those who tell you to do as they say, but not as they do.

And BTW-- How did Al Gore's power use go up another 10%, the equivalent of 232 average homes, if he put in all these power saving measures? What the hell is he doing there?

Anyway, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

1 comment:

athul b. nair said...

It is a well known fact that homosexuality was always there in history. But in later stage it became unacceptable by many. Becoming a Gay or Lesbian is inborn and it is controlled by their hormones. They are helpless. As we get attracted towards the opposite sex they get attracted towards same sex due to the brain pattern and hormone release.Should Gay Marriage Legalized? . As we can never imagine to have sex with the same sex the homosexuals cant imagine to do it with the opposite. As we got the right to marriage, they should also get the same as they are also humans. The pressure from certain group should be ignored as they always have a narrow minded approach. Should Gay Marriage Legalized?Think and behave like a human being and fight for human rights.