You Racist Tea-Bagging Scumbags!

A
SPECIAL
GUEST
BLOG
BY
JANEANE
GAROFALO
(Folks say she used to be a comedian or something like that)

This past week saw the rise of a vile and digusting display of overt racism by vile and disgusting American racists who don't want to happily hand over their money, property, and control over their own lives to a black man simply because of his race!

I'm talking about those Fox-news fascist tea-bagging parties, the 21st Century's answer to KKK cross burnings! I know why Napolitano has put these people under federal surveillance! If anyone deserves to have their constitutional rights trampled on, it's these people.

Only racism can compel these scumbag KKKhristianazis to want to keep their own money and control their own lives.

Why would you want to have money and control your own life when the government can do it so much better than you?

Look at me. During the 1990s I actually had a career, I starred in movies, I was considered as hip as Dennis Rodman. Now I'm lucky if I get a supporting role on a TV series as stunt casting. Sure, I lost my looks, my ability to tell a joke, and any cachet I had with the audience, but this wouldn't have happened if popular tastes were controlled by government fiat and not by "free-market" forces that mean entertainers have to be actually entertaining to have a career.

Which is why I'm telling all you racist tea-baggers that it is racist of you to defy the wishes of a President with a questionable past, even more questionable friends, and really questionable judgment. Because he's African-American, and any acknowledgement that he is an actual human being and somehow less than god-like and perfect in all things is RACIST!!

Sure, your money is being taken away from you by the government, and your children, and children's children, will be in debt to the Chinese Communist Party in perpetuity, and this cash is being given to corporations, banks, and hedge funds to repay the trillions they pissed away, but not wanting that to happen means your are worse than Hitler.

So give up your free will and submit to the dictates of your intellectual and moral betters, it may make your life worse, but it is in a good cause. I know it's a good cause, because Obama told me so.

PS: Ben Stiller, call me, I'm on food stamps!