(Director of Homeland Security)

Hello my fellow Americans and dwellers of flyover country.

My department has come under criticism over what we consider terrorist threats, and since we Democrats have the monopoly on all scientific knowledge, (Al Gore did invent the internet) we have created a simple YES or NO test to determine if a person is a terrorist or not.

So just look at the questions, and answer YES if you agree with what it says, or NO if you do not agree.
  1. I think America is the greatest nation on Earth.
  2. I find the President's control of the Washington Press Corps disturbing.
  3. I believe that the control of the census by political hacks threatens democracy.
  4. I believe that people have the right to life.
  5. I cannot accept that hedge fund billionaires have the best interests of the country at heart.
  6. I believe that socialist policies will make the economy worse.
  7. The recession was caused by political interference married to the greed of people who don't understand how free markets work.
  8. I think democracy is worth defending.
  9. I think Ronald Reagan is one of America's greatest Presidents.
  10. I voted Republican at least once.
If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you are a dangerous terrorist. In fact, just visiting this blog has put you on a federal watch-list. Federal Agents are on the way to collect you and bring you to a special re-education camp.

That is all.

1 comment:

Porkchop said...

oh... crap...

wonder if this is how it was for the germans

hitler: im going to make life better!

crowd: yay... go hitler... hes the man!

hitler: you are all going to live in a eutopia of my imagination

crowd: yay... he sepaks so well... how did we live without him all this time

hitler: for this to happen you must kill all the jews

crowd: yay... go hit... wait, what?!

hitler: if you dont do it, you will be labeled terrorists, and marked, and most likely killed

crowd: fuck that... yay hitler!

let's hope we have more sense than the crowd... although looking at the dregs of society who placed the new regime in power... i kind of doubt it