5.20.2009

You Didn't Hear This From Me....

TRANSCRIPT OF
A SPEECH BY
SEYMOUR HERSH
TO THE
GREVO-NAKA SCHOOL
OF JOURNALISM &
HUMANOID HUSBANDRY
ON ARGONIA XIII


Good evening, it's good to see you all here.

I guess I should thank Remulak MoxArgon for inviting me to speak at this school, though I'm not sure why this event is called "Negative Example Week," but I never turn down an opportunity to shoot my mouth off.

Now folks in the fascist wing of the blogosphere have been smearing me with reports that a Pakistani newspaper is citing me as a source for a story that Dick Cheney's Executive Assassination Squad was behind the death of Benazir Bhutto. Now let me set the record straight, I merely said that Dick Cheney ran an Executive Assassination Squad, I didn't specifically tell them that they killed Benazir Bhutto.

Though they probably did.

But I'm not writing that down, I'm just saying it, so you really can't say that I officially put that in an article.

And since I'm giving a speech outside the United States, I might as well tell you a few more incontrovertible facts.

1. George W. Bush has a secret island in the Gulf of Mexico where he raises dinosaurs by feeding them illegal immigrants.

2. Dick Cheney is actually just a brain in a cyborg body sent from the future to enslave mankind with his awe-inspiring sex-appeal.

3. The only reason the surge worked in Iraq was because the US Army killed every single Iraqi in the world, and replaced them with animatronic duplicates created by Disney.

4. Nancy Pelosi is the world's most brilliant mind and is being completely honest about water-boarding.

5. Speaking of water-boarding, after they torture the poor innocent freedom fighters, the Marines at Gitmo then eat them. I have a copy of the cookbook, here's a picture:
See, incontrovertible proof that America is the most evil, imperialist, cannibalistic state the world has ever seen.

But I'm not writing that down, so don't quote me on that.

Good night.

1 comment:

cmblake6 said...

Kill the bitch.