Caucasian Dialect

A SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY
BY SENATOR ROBERT BYRD
(D-Mentia)
Race Relations Expert for the Democratic Party

Well I say, I say, welcome to all yah readers of this here blog thang. I'd like to start by saying...

YOU BOY! GET OFF MY LAWN!

THAT'S RIGHT! I'M TALKIN' TO YOU BOY!

DON'T YOU GIT UPPITY WITH ME BOY!

I DON'T CARE IF YOUR NAME IS "SENATOR" SUMTIN' AND THAT YOU THINK THIS IS THE HALLWAY TO YOUR OFFICE! YOU GIT NOW! OR I'LL SIC MY SMELL HOUND ON YA ASS, & THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!

Now where was I?

Oh right, race relations.

Now a bunch of those evil racist blood drinking Republicans are saying that it was racist when Senator Harry Reid referred to our now President Obama would speak in a "Negro dialect."

That is the greatest travesty of justice since the end of segregation.

Harry Reid's comments are in no way racist. The same way my past membership in the KKK, my repeated use of the word "NDELETEDr" in public, my filibustering of the Civil Rights Act, or Chris Dodd saying that I'd have been on the right side of the Civil War, are not remotely racist.

That's because we're Democrats.

Being a Democrat is wonderful.

You can promote slavery, segregation, belong to an organization that actively attacked and killed NDELETEDrs, and do everything you can to keep them poor and dependent, and you will never be a racist.

Why?

Because we say so goddammit!

It's not like saying something nice about a retiring repentant ex-segregationist, or using a word that no one really heard of in this century, or having legitimate criticisms of policy decisions.

Now that's racist.

So back off of Harry Reid. He's not racist because he's working very hard to help a NDELETEDr President properly cripple this country for generations to come, and I'm not a racist either. No matter how many racist things we say and do.

Because we say so.