It's Mine Damn It!!



Democratic Candidate for Senate

My fellow Democrats, and the rest of you tea-bagging scum suckers who don't deserve the vote.

I am here to tell you that Massakussetz Maffabusebbs Mazz--- The state with Boston in it, is in a very deep trouble. In fact, the entire state, if not the country is on the precipice of complete and total destruction.

I'm saying that a Republican could win Ted Kennedy's Senate seat.

That will plunge the entire nation into a dark age that will make the country resemble post-earthquake Haiti, instead of Detroit, which is what the Democrats want.

It's become so bad that one of my aides had to defend me from a savage Republican stalker who dared to ask me questions that I didn't want to answer by flinging him to the ground at my big money fundraiser in Washington DC!

Scott Brown is pure evil incarnate. I have proof! He opposes the Democrat's Health Care Reform bill that will punish you for not having health insurance, and then punish you for having health insurance!

How can a man like not accept such a logical plan of health care reform? Only one that is worse than Hitler, at least in my books.

Now you're probably wondering why you should vote for me over Scott Brown, other than the simple fact that he allegedly drinks the blood of infants.

Well the answer is simple.


That seat in the Senate belongs to Democrats. That's the law! You idiots are supposed to blindly vote Democrat no matter what. We could run a chimp with a spike stuck in its brain, and you Boston bean humpers are supposed to vote for it!

Because we're Democrats and we own your ass.

Why else would the party nominate me, a flip-flopping failure of an Attorney General who spent more time harassing women's garden clubs, while blocking serious criminal investigations for purely political reasons? I'm an elite white liberal with a bloated sense of entitlement. I am the Democratic Party!

So vote for me goddammit! I own you and your votes.

Don't force me to "find" uncounted ballots in abandoned cars like Al Franken. We can only push that chestnut so far before even our pet poodles in the media start smelling the horseshit.


Or my aides will shove, and my staff will indict you! And we will, we can indict anyone for anything!

1 comment:

cmblake6 said...

SUPERB!!!!!! Now linked at mine!