The Worst Person In The World!

Good evening America. Keith Olbermann here, you may know me as the MSNBC host who is slightly less manly than Rachel Maddow. I've come to this cesspool of a blog to tell you who is the
WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD FOR ALL TIME!!

This person is not a third world dictator making nuclear weapons to slaughter millions of Israelis, he's not a terrorist plotting to attack this country, nor is this person a so-called "activist" engaging in widespread political corruption, social decay, and criminal activity under the guise of "social justice."

No, the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD FOR ALL TIME IS...

THE AMERICAN VOTER

That's right, the American Voter is responsible for all the problems of the planet. They start wars, impose unjust laws, watch Fox News, & above all
ARE TOO STUPID FOR THEIR OWN GOOD!
If the American Voter had the sort of brains found in people like me, or Chris Matthews, or the awe-inspiring genius of a Barack Obama, they would accept that the people in the White House, specifically Democrats, not only know better than them, but know what is best for them.
But the American Voter is by its nature a stupid creature. It elected George W. Bush twice, plunging this nation into an era of fascist darkness that only the healing touch of the great light-bringer Barack Obama can dispel.
So it's time for drastic action in order to save democracy, and take it away from those too stupid to use it properly. I'm talking about those evil racist Tea-baggers, Christians, pro-Israel Jews, and those who don't think that the same people who run the DMV, Amtrak, and the Post Office are the perfect people to run their health care.

If I knew any history, I'd say that it's time for a return of Woodrow Wilson's American Protective League, who during WWI, harassed, arrested, and detained American citizens, in blatant violation of the constitution.
But I, like most MSNBC hosts, know nothing about history, so I didn't just say that.
What needs to be done to save America, and democracy, is to eliminate partisan differences, by eliminating any political party that's racist enough to disagree with the great and glorious Obama administration.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELVES!!

Goodnight.

I'm here to help you ACORN

Greetings puny Earthlings...

It has come to my attention that ACORN, the group that backed everything from Barack Obama's political career, to underage brothels in sting videos, is breaking up as a national organization.

Actually, that's a tad inaccurate. ACORN is merely rearranging, and renaming elements of their labyrinthine corporate structure to keep on doing that thing they do. Which is to help corrupt politicians expand their power, cripple the economy, and perpetuate class and racial differences.

So I'm now going to help ACORN find a new name, one that tells more about what they do than their old name of Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now. This is because I'm the helpful sort.

C.R.A.P.
Corrupt Radicals Aiding Politicians

F.A.R.T.
Fraternal Association of Reprobate Transgressors

P.A.P.S.M.E.A.R.
Pseudo Activists Pushing Socialist Mobsters in Elections And Re-elections

T.A.R.D.
Tainted Activists Ruining Democracy

P.O.O.P.
Plutocrats Owning Opportunistic Politicians

If you have your own suggestions, then please let us know.

XRAN XPLAINS- WHY TAXING THE RICH DOESN'T WORK!

Howdy Earthlings.

It's your buddy Xran here to simplify the complicated after they've been complicated by the simple!

This time I'm going to explain why TAXING THE RICH DOESN'T WORK!!

This is
PRESIDENT OBAMA
he likes to
SPEND LOTS OF MONEY
&
RACK UP AN
ENORMOUS NATIONAL DEBT

But
PRESIDENT OBAMA
says it's all going to be
OKAY
because he's going to get the money out of those
RICH FAT CATS
by making them pay their
FAIR SHARE
in
TAXES
making
AMERICA
the perfect
UTOPIA
he claims it can be

But there's a catch.
RICH FAT CATS
have
LOBBYISTS
and these very same
LOBBYISTS
write the
TAX CODE

(Did you really think your Congressmen wrote it?)

in such a way that their
RICH FAT CAT CLIENTS
pay lower rates of taxes than
SMALL BUSINESS PEOPLE
&
Let's not forget
PRESIDENT OBAMA'S
ever decreasing definition of what makes someone a
RICH FAT CAT

$250,000 a year

$200,000 a year

$150,000 a year

$100,000 a year

Pretty soon the
MIDDLE CLASS
will be the new
FAT CAT

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

The
RICH FAT CATS
also like to
HIDE THEIR MONEY
in other countries
so they don't have to pay any
AMERICAN TAXES
and deny America investment capital
WRECKING THE ECONOMY
so no matter what a simple formula is always true

WHEN TAXES GO
UP
REVENUE GOES
DOWN!

So why does
PRESIDENT OBAMA
do it?

Shouldn't he know better?

If he didn't then he won't be able to play those
CLASS WARFARE BULLSHIT GAMES
that
HIS OWNERS
like to play because it
lets them grab power.

I hope that clears things up for you.

Two Tea-Bags Down!

A
SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY BY
ROGER EBERT
(Film Critic/Political Scientist)

As a critic I normally dish out the criticism instead of receiving it, but lately I've been getting it a lot.

It seems some racist crypto-fascist mongoloids that dwell around racist crypto-fascist mongoloid sites like Big Hollywood have taken offense by my referring to them as "tea-baggers" on my Twitter page.

Apparently "tea-bag" is a term used to describe a sexual act wherein the dominant partner rubs his testicles into the face of the submissive partner. While that definition does bring back fond memories of that party at Hef's, I must have forgotten at one point that "tea-bagging" was its name.

So I hereby declare that I will not refer to the racist crypto-fascist mongoloids as "tea-baggers."

Though I will continue to judge all of them by the statements of one obnoxious commenter, because I need to do that to justify my own prejudices against them.

Why am I so prejudiced against the people who prefer to be called "Tea Partiers?"

Because they DARE TO OPPOSE THE PLANS OF THEIR BETTERS!

The only three decent cities in this shit-hole of a country, New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, have given them a President, and they must now obey his every whim and command! A President willing to do the work to transform the country into the sort of model democracy/economy that it needs to be, like California, or Greece.

Sure, many of the people attending these Tea Parties voted for Obama, and now regret their choice, because they have some sort of perverse attachment to their money, homes, and personal freedoms, but they are still racist crypto-fascist mongoloids!

Only a fascist would want the government to be smaller, and have less control over individual lives, even though every fascist state in the past were built on a foundation of big governments that have more control of individual lives... but let's ignore that bit of cognitive dissonance because I tell you to ignore it!

Tea party people are evil! Look at Sarah Palin who spoke at the Tea Party bag-fest! She wore a black bracelet with he son's name engraved on it, literally pissing on the memories of soldiers who died in service of Bush's War for Oil.

Sure, the bracelet was bronze, and only looked black because of the lighting, BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I SAID SOMETHING WAS SO!

When will you people learn, the holy trinity isn't some bit of phooey you hear about in some phony-baloney church, it's New York- Chicago- Los Angeles, we know better than you, and you should forget about your right to free speech and assembly, shut up and do what we tell you!

TWO THUMBS DOWN AMERICA!

TWO THUMBS DOWN!

Two Points To Ponder....

Greetings puny Earthlings, here are some points for you to ponder.

1. So, according to reports Abdulmutallab the bloomer bomber is talking.

Why is that being reported?

All the folks he's talking about, whether they're in Yemen or in Britain, have now gone to ground thanks to that little tidbit coming out.

In fact, there should have been no news about anything about him doing or saying anything. The moment he came off the plane he should have been whisked to a special facility where he would be made to talk in private.

Of course that didn't happen. Eric Holder just gave him some rights he wasn't due under any constitution, treaty, or barroom bet. Then, when this asinine move, among other asinine moves, like not consulting the national security/anti-terrorism apparatus, start coming under public scrutiny, they decide to tell the world that panty-boy is yakking up a storm.

If they got any dumber.... they'd all be Joe Biden.

2. The whole Global Warming boondoggle just keeps getting deeper. First came the schemin' e-mails with their overall theme of "lie, cheat, and crush all who ask questions," and now comes the glaciers. It seems that the IPCCCCCC's report on those pesky shrinking glaciers was based on a student's term paper, an article in a hiking magazine, and anything else that guy with the combover pulled out of his ass that day.

Which raises one question: Why is anyone shocked?

We're talking about people whose entire careers are based on the conceit of the baby boomers. That conceit being that the climate the baby boom generation knew in their childhood was not only the time when Earth was in perfect harmony, but that same climate was an unchanging constant for all of Earth's history.

Sorry, but that's what we in Outer Space call a big steaming pile of horseshit.

So why are people shocked to discover that anyone who believes that is not only not a scientist, but also a craven opportunist looking to profit through fear mongering.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.