Questions & Answers!

MOXARGON- Greeting puny Earthlings. Welcome to another long awaited edition of ASK THE MOXARGON GROUP. You have questions, and we have the answers. I'm joined by our regulars Xran the Fleshrender, Android CAI/7, Tektak F. Mechanoid, Snotglob T. Mutant, and Varos Quasar. Good to have you all here. Let's skip the formalities, and leap right into the first question.

Mark in VA asked... Why are you demanding intergalactic media silence on the Blagojevich trial? Is Lindsey Lohan's trial really more newsworthy?

XRAN- I think I can answer that one.

MOXARGON- Go right ahead old chum.

XRAN- There isn't intergalactic media silence on the trial of disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. That media blackout is strictly an Earth only affair. No one here ordered any blocking of the coverage of his ongoing legal problems.

MOXARGON- Android CAI/7 can you tell him the reason why? I'm trying to spread it around today and give everyone a chance to talk.

ANDROID CAI/7- The reason is quite simple--

SNOTGLOB- Blagojevich is innocent!!

MOXARGON- What?

SNOTGLOB- Blagojevich is innocent!

VAROS- It's a Republican Nazi witch hunt of an innocent man with incredible hair!!

TEKTAK- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut. What the hell are you saying, and why is Varos joining you?

SNOTGLOB- I believe he's innocent.

TEKTAK- Why do you believe that?

SNOTGLOB- He's a Democrat. Chicago Democrats are the purest politicians the universe has ever seen.

ANDROID CAI/7- I think Snotglob's extreme illogic has actually answered the question.

MOXARGON- That the mainstream media is ignoring Blagojevich's trial because it may embarrass their masters in the Democratic Party and their billionaire backers?

ANDROID CAI/7- More or less, yes.

MOXARGON- Next question:

Blackhawk12151 asked... It is well known that America has problems with illegal aliens and border security. Are there any similar problems being dealt with by MoxArgon? Some pesky aliens planet hoping without the proper documentation?

MOXARGON- Since this is about my government, I guess I can answer it. In my empire citizens are free to go to whatever planet they wish to live on. Now I must state that none of the planets in my empire are run by governments as corrupt, incompetent, and just plain shit-heeled as the government of Mexico. Planets that are as badly run as Mexico, aren't part of my empire, and incapable of space travel.

XRAN- But there is immigration though?

MOXARGON- Oh, yes, lots. We're always terraforming new planets and allowing people to colonize them. It's a great way to ease the pressure on overpopulated planets, and grow the overall intergalactic economy. As for documentation, it's impossible to travel without it considering we implant such documentation into your DNA. If you don't have your papers, then you're missing all of your cells. Even our androids have some organic parts that contain their identification codes. Next question:

Damian G. asked... Given that the fauna of alien worlds is decidedly different from that of Earth, what would be your home planets' equivalents of a "Mama Grizzly"?

XRAN- Don't go there.

MOXARGON- I'm going there.

XRAN- Damn it.

MOXARGON- My home planet's equivalent of a "Mama Grizzly" is called Nestarrax. Otherwise known as the second ex-missus Xran.

XRAN- Douche.

MOXARGON- Keep your questions coming folks. Ask us about policy, the oil spill, or anything else you can think of. We'll answer them, and keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

ASK THE MOXARGON GROUP

Greetings puny Earthlings.

We here at the MoxArgon Group have been a tad light and loose with the blogging lately. Probably because there is just so much to complain about and explain to you lesser mortals, we just don't know where to start.

So we're going to let you tell us where to start!

It's time for

ASK THE MOXARGON GROUP!

If you have a question about any aspect of your planet's politics, policies, and poltroons, then leave them in the comments.

All we ask is that you leave a name for us to call you, but aside from that ask early and ask often.

So get asking. Don't make me come down there.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Douchebags of Week!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for the light posting, it's been sort of busy in the empire lately, but I thought I'd take a moment to remind you about the sheer level of douchebaggery that keeps happening on your wretched little rock of a planet.

So let's go in no particular order...

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA: There are literally too many examples of bias to mention, from their constant use of the word "brilliant" to describe every time Barack Obama farts, to deliberately leaving out important facts. Recent Senator Robert Byrd slipped the surly bonds of Earth, rung down the curtain, and joined the jug band invisible, and they are already forgetting that he once held a leadership position in the Ku Klux Klan.

Former Democrat turned Republican Strom Thurmond died, and they rushed to brand him the eternal segregationist despite his later change in position on that issue. Byrd on the other hand was a leader and recruiter for what can only be described as a racially motivated domestic terrorist group. Of course Byrd stayed a Democrat, so to the media, that makes it all a-okay.

I know you Earthlings have a thing about speaking ill of the dead, but one shouldn't lie about them either.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: He's become a regular on this feature, for continued douchebaggery ranging from delaying action on the BP oil spill to please his union masters, and playing around with people's lives and livelihoods with the offshore drilling ban in order to please his billionaire masters who are invested in Brasilian oil and want those Gulf oil rigs. And let us not forget the kissing up to enemies, the pissing on allies, and all the other stuff he does on a regular basis to completely cripple the nation.

BP: I guess when this company went "Beyond Petroleum" they also went beyond basic safety considerations. They honestly believed that being behind such boondoggles in the making like "cap and trade" would somehow protect them from fundamentally failing at the one thing they are supposed to be good at, which is extracting oil from the ground, and delivering it without creating some sort of massive environmental and economic disaster.

Remember, if you're on this list then you....

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Helen Thomas & Everything That's Wrong

Greetings puny Earthlings.

This past week saw the retirement of Helen Thomas from her place of dishonor in the front row of the Washington Press Corps after she suggested that Israelis give up their 3000+ years of history, hand over their nation to people who enjoy blowing up schools, and return to Europe where 6 million of their number were slaughtered during the 1940s.

Her forced retirement came just months shy of her 90th birthday, and about 25 years too late.

Her entire career was a classic illustration of everything that's wrong with the mainstream media. As I write this many of the media's chattering classes are talking about her great accomplishments as the doyenne of the chattering class.

And here is a list of greatest journalistic accomplishments:

1. She showed up.

2. She stayed.

Yes, she broke the mold by being the first woman to join the White House drinking club press corps. But if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else, it was an inevitability, and after breaking that mold, Helen Thomas got moldy very quickly.

For those of you who don't believe me just answer these two questions:

1. What big "scoops" did she dig up in her career?

2. When was the last time you read one of her "columns" and said: "Damn, she's brilliant?"

The answers are 1. None, and 2. Never.

Because you don't get scoops when you're the White House correspondent. All you do is regurgitate what the Press Secretary tells you, and write about what you heard, layering on as much spin as you can get away with.

Reporters like the position because it gives them instant daily national exposure, but realize that it's a very limited position, because you really can't break news the way you can in other positions. So most journalists, the real ones, move on when they've done their turn in order to grow their careers.

Helen Thomas at least had the foresight to know her limitations as just a biased hack, and once she had the "showing up" part done, she stayed, using her gender and age to get away with her hackery, her bias, and her blatant hatred of Jews, Republicans, Israel, democratic countries, and anything else that she disagrees with that manages to poke through the layers of cobwebs in her senility addled brain.

Since she was "The First," had seniority, and expressed openly the prejudices most media mavens had to hide under layers of baffle-gab, she was honored, feted, and glorified waaay beyond her ability, intelligence, or integrity. It helped her get a contract with Hearst newspapers that Hearst instantly regretted, running only a handful of her least incoherent columns, and binning the rest.

Helen Thomas sat in the front seat of that press room like a pimple on the ass of progress. Sore, unpleasant, and full of some really nasty stuff.

Then she finally went too far, ripped off the mask, and showed the world the pseudo intellectual pus that filled her head.

Now she's gone, and the White House is going to have to find another long-in-the-tooth, anti-Semitic, incoherent, yahoo to fill that precious front row seat.

It won't be hard, there are a lot of jokers in the media deck.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Hey Joe!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

We've got a big scoop that's exclusive to this blog. You've probably heard that author Joe McGinnis has literally moved into a house that's 15 feet from Sara Palin's in Wasilla, Alaska while he writes a book about her. Well, we here at the MoxArgon Group have obtained a page from his personal diary for Monday, May 31, 2010, so we can look into what he's really up to there:

JOE MCGINNISS' DIARY
MAY 31, 2010

12:00-1:00 AM- The lights are off at the Palin house. They want me to think they're asleep, but I know they're not. They're in there and they're wide awake and plotting the takeover of America through those useless evil voters.

-Willow's curtains are still drawn.

What is she hiding?

1:00-2:00 AM- Something's rooting through my garbage. It's cleverly disguised as a raccoon, but I know what it's real game is. THAT'S RIGHT YOU NAZI PIG! I'M ON TO YOU!!

2:00-3:00 AM- Feeling sleepy. But I can't drop my guard. They derive their power from darkness and it's up to guardians of the truth like me to expose thefgdsgjsshdhsgjvbm

3:00-4:00 AM-

4:00-5:00 AM-

5:00-6:00 AM- Damn. They must have drugged me somehow. My head hurts and someone emptied my bottle of gin.

-Willow's bedroom curtain still closed. She must be up to something. Possibly organizing Hitler Youth meetings in secret.

6:00-7:00 AM- Masturbated to photo of Tina Fey. It's just not the same.

7:00-8:00 AM- Breakfast: Bowl of Cap'n Crunch, 2% milk, strong black coffee. Milk was past due. Karl Rove must have made that happen so I'd end up puking in bathroom and miss their latest Nazi conspiracies in action.

-Willow's curtain still closed. She's a sneaky one.

8:00-9:00 AM- Family is leaving house. My parabolic mic is only picking up snippets of conversation. They are talking about something called "mu-mor eeyalday." Must be some sort of code to signify a Nazi related event. Must include that in book.

9:00-10:00 AM- Masturbated to photo of Helen Thomas. Memories of that hot night in DC bounce around in my brain. Focus Joe! FOCUS!

10:00-11:00 AM- About to engage in recon mission in enemy territory. If I don't come back, tell my story!

I can hear some sort of marching music coming from town. Must be some sort of Nuremberg style Nazi rally that they were speaking in code about earlier.

11:00 AM- 12:00 PM- Back from recon, injured. A vicious dog attacked me while I was lowering myself into the Palin family laundry room. My Gap khakis were ripped on one leg, and I only narrowly escaped. Unable to obtain panties research material on this mission.

12:00-1:00 PM- There's a moose in my backyard. At least it wants me to think it's a moose. I'M ON TO YOU TEABAGGING NAZI BASTARDS!

There's a strange smell wafting in from town. It smells like some sort of large communal barbecue, but I suspect it's some sort of nerve gas experiment designed to target ethnic minorities. These people are so evil.

Ate a frozen pizza pocket for lunch. Don't dare turn on microwave, that's when they get you.

1:00-2:00 PM- Family hasn't returned yet. Masturbated to TiVo'd episodes of Rachel Maddow's MSNBC show. I wonder if she'll go out with me?

2:00-3:00 PM- Still no sign of the Palins. I know that they're watching me. The woods around Wasilla are crawling with her Brownshirt wearing zombie followers. I know their out there.

Someone put a bottle of Cutty Sark in my hand and opened it.

3:00-4:00 PM-

4:00-5:00 PM-

5:00-6:00 PM-

6:00-7:00 PM- Lost some time, and someone emptied the Cutty Sark bottle. I think Dick Cheney did it.

Surveillance monitors shows that the Palins have returned home. They appear to be preparing some sort of meal. Must discuss possibility of cannibalistic tendencies in book.

7:00-8:00 PM- Ate supper. Consisted of another frozen pizza pocket and a plastic tumbler full of vodka. Must keep up my strength.

Palin family has drawn blinds to hide their Nazi activities. I can hear the movie Wizard of Oz playing on their TV. No doubt to prevent my surveillance from hearing their conspiring.

Just realized I haven't had a bowel movement in 76 hours. Is that a bad sign? Possibly a plot by the Palin/Nazi/British Petroleum Axis to distract me. Yes, I'm onto you.

8:00-9:00 PM- Light is on in Willow's room. Still can't see through the blind. She must be up to something pretty evil. I'm assuming some sort of human sacrifice.

Took some time to masturbate to video of Nancy Pelosi. Don't worry my fearless leader, I will save you from the Palin/Nazi conspiracy.

9:00-10:00 PM- Plot to distract me with my lack of recent bowel movements has changed tack. Now I can feel something moving.

10:00-11:00 PM-

11:00 PM- 12:00 AM- Spent over an hour on toilet. Obviously a distraction to make me break my surveillance, but I won't give up. Spent time carefully folding a new hat out of tinfoil to beat their vicious Nazi brainwave machines. They won't get me.

Light is off in Willow's bedroom, but the curtains are still drawn. What is she up to?

Make note to change batteries in cameras in the morning before going to liquor store. Someone keeps draining the contents of all my bottles and leaving them all over the floor between puddles of vomit and urine.

There are no bounds to their evil.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you, and Joe McGinniss is watching the Palin Family.

Are You A Peace Activist?

Greetings puny Earthlings...

There's a lot of chatter going on about the flotilla of "peace activists" who were stopped from dropping off their boatload of supplies in Gaza so Hamas can keep spending the food money on rockets to launch at Israeli kindergartens. People in the media are calling the people on the boat "peace activists" and the Israeli military "terrorists" while the Israelis and those who support their survival are calling the boat people "terrorist supporters."

Now I like to clear up confusion, I've composed a little test to determine if you are a peace activist, a terrorist, or a person protecting innocent lives.

PEACE ACTIVIST/TERRORIST

1. You have a boat full of supplies for Gaza. You are requested by the Israeli government to dock so your cargo can be checked for weapons, and Israel offers to transport all non-military aid to be sent into Gaza. What do you do?

A) Dock and arrange for a trusted outside agency to supervise the inspection and shipment of aid supplies into Gaza.

B) Respond that you are damning all blockades and will charge into Gaza or die a martyr.

2. The Israeli military has boarded your boat to take it into port for inspection for weapons. What do you do?

A) Have a sit in and sing "We shall overcome" while the Israelis inspect your boats.

B) Assault the Israeli troops screaming "Allah akbar" with metal bars and knives, tossing them overboard, and grabbing their guns in the hope of creating a violent international incident.

3. Your peace group acted like a pack of homicidal maniacs against the Israelis, and got a lot of people killed, wounded, and arrested. What do you do?

A) Decry the violent actions of your own group and beg Israel for forgiveness in the hope that it might open doors for some sort of peaceful coexistence.

B) Call the Israelis "terrorists" and scream for bloody vengeance against the Jewish state and Jewish people in general.

If you answered "A" to these three questions you are a PEACE ACTIVIST.

If you answered "B" to these three questions you are a TERRORIST SUPPORTER.

TERRORIST/ DEFENDER

1. A flotilla of terrorist supporters and the Eurotrash activists that love them are sailing right into Gaza in violation of a security blockade. They are refusing to go into port where their supplies will be shipped after inspection, and are screaming for martyrdom. What do you do?

A) Board the vessels with lightly armed commandos in the hope that the ships can be redirected safely.

B) Blast the flotilla into splinters, and tell the world that the boats were full of explosives meant for Hamas that were accidentally set off.

2. The commandos you sent onto the ships were assaulted, their non-lethal weapons overcome, and their lethal sidearms taken. What do you do?

A) Return fire, but try to minimize casualties.

B) Leave the ships, then sink them, and machine gun anyone who tries to swim away.

3. You have captured a bunch of foreigners who participated in the assault on the Israeli commandos. What do you do?

A) Arrest them, but instead of jailing them, deport them to their home countries.

B) Toss them into a deep, dark dungeon where they are vigorously tortured for information, then executed when their usefulness is spent.

If you answered "A" to these three questions, then you are a DEFENDER trying to protect human life.

If you answered "B" to these three questions. you're probably one of the Middle Eastern dictatorships that surround Israel.

Overheard By Snotglob: We're Sorry

Hello Earthlings.

It's your friend Snotglob here.

Remulak has let me post again, because I have an exclusive scoop that will enlighten you all.

The Fox News and Talk Radio fascists are going after Michael Posner the Assistant Secretary of State for Human Right etc., for apologizing to China's leader over Arizona's recent transformation into a Nazi Genocide state by demanding immigrants to produce ID when the pigs harass them.

Well, it just so happens that I heard the whole conversation. It was a telephone call between Posner and Chinese leader Hu Jintao at this meeting, and I have posted the complete transcript for you.

JINTAO: Welcome Mr. Assistant Secretary, you honor me with...

POSNER: I'm sorry, but I really have to apologize.

JINTAO: For what?

POSNER: For Arizona.

JINTAO: What about Arizona?

POSNER: Right now, as we speak, Arizona has become the greatest human rights violator the world has ever known, and as the voice of the American people I feel I must apologize for this to you, the leader of the freest and most democratic state in the world.

JINTAO: What?

POSNER: We are so very, very sorry.

JINTAO: Wait a minute. Do you know what country you're calling?

POSNER: Yes, I must apologize for Arizona's ongoing atrocity. If only America had the strong central leadership that you have here in China we'd have been able to stop it. But that damn constitution is holding us back.

JINTAO: What is Arizona doing?

POSNER: You haven't heard?

JINTAO: No. What's happening in Arizona.

POSNER: If the cops stop an illegal immigrant for a traffic violation, or for committing a crime... they... they...

JINTAO: They what?

POSNER: They ask for their ID.

JINTAO: And then they....

POSNER: Well, we assume they report them to our immigration department for deportation back to Mexico.

JINTAO: They don't shoot them and send a bill to their families for the bullet?

POSNER: No.

JINTAO: They don't torture them? Burn them alive? Rape them?

POSNER: No.

JINTAO: Then what's the big deal?

POSNER: It's the most horrible violation of human rights the world has ever seen since the fascist pigs of the Bush administration water-boarded that poor innocent man Khalid Sheikh Mohammed!

JINTAO: Okay... Now I get it. Ashton Kutcher's going to jump out from behind the fern and tell me I'm "Punk'd" or something like that?

POSNER: What are you talking about?

JINTAO: I'm talking about you talking like a crazy man.

POSNER: I see. The scale of this holocaust is just too massive for you to conceive. I understand, but you must believe.

JINTAO: Are you on some sort of medication or something?

POSNER: Please! I'm begging you! You're the moral leader of the world! You must forgive us for our crimes against humanity!

JINTAO: Do you know any history?

POSNER: I memorized everything written by Howard Zinn.

JINTAO: Sheesh, I never thought I'd have to say this...

POSNER: Oh, I'd like to also apologize for our ongoing brutal oppression of America's Muslim population.

JINTAO: Really, you finally started rounding them up, eh?

POSNER: No. It's just that we keep catching Muslims committing or trying to commit terrorist acts.. Sorry, I mean man caused disasters, and we're sorry that it might spark a racist backlash that really hasn't materialized even though Muslims have killed thousands of Americans and other westerners the world over. The government of the USA is very, very sorry for driving them to kill our citizens by buying their nation's oil, not killing Jews, and failing to sign the Kyoto Protocol.

JINTAO: Okay, I think I'm going to hang up now.

POSNER: Oh, I've offended you. I'm so sorry. So very very sorry.

JINTAO: Will you please stop apologizing! Don't you realize that my government's killed millions of people, tens of millions really, most of them for being the wrong religion or political persuasion. We've invaded Tibet, killed thousands of Tibetans, and continue to do so! What the hell is wrong with you? Arizona's policy is exponentially nicer than ours, and it's way nicer than Mexico's who regularly abuse and imprison illegal aliens from El Salvador and Honduras for merely passing through their country. What is your major malfunction that you feel you have to apologize simply because one state wants to enforce a pre-existing and very mild federal law? Why do you have to apologize for doing nothing wrong?

POSNER: Sorry I got you so mad.

CLICK-- DIAL TONE

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you, and I'm listening too.

In Vino Veritas

A SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTARY BY
DRUNK GORDON BROWN
Soon To Be Ex-Prime Minister of Great Britain

Wha' are you lookin' at?

Huh!

Wha' you fancy yerself sumtin special?

Tink yer so feckin' 'ot, because you ain't run no feckin' country into the ground?

I oughtta kick yer ass....

(SOBS)

OH WHY DIDN'T YOU VOTE LABOUR?

WHY?

We did what you wanted.

We made the schools so bad and politicized your children actually get dumber as time goes by.

We made law enforcement so impotent you are now free to viciously assault each other on the streets, because the odds of the constant video surveillance being used against you is outweighed by the incompetence of our police, prosecutors and judges.

We made the once booming economy a cruel black joke with banks crashing, unemployment rising, and yahoos demanding more out of less.

We looted the treasury through our expense accounts, and lived high on the hog, the way the ruling elite should.

We made the hospitals death-traps where if you actually are lucky to get a bed in one, it's so riddled with anti-biotic resistant germs, you're chances of survival and costing us money are slim.

What more could you want?

I mean look at who is forming the next government. You've got David "Less Balls Than Thatcher" Cameron, of the Tories joining forces with Nick "Europe is Right About Everything, Even Greece" Clegg.

Talk about Tweedledum and Tweedleshitforbrains.

The Tories are so lacking in the balls department you're just going to get all the same sucky Labour policies, except this time, the BBC/Oxbridge pundits will piss on them from their ivory towers!

You dumb sods!

You're still buggered six ways from Sunday!

The only way you could have been dumber, is if you voted me back in power!

Damn, I need a feckin' drink.

Piss off!

Douchebags of Week! Greece Fire Edition!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

So many douchebags, so little time. Let's get started:

1. Administrators of the Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill California.

These administrators suspended a bunch of students for daring to wear shirts adorned with the American flag on Cinco de Mayo.

Cinco de Mayo, which I used to think was a sandwich with extra mayonnaise, is a holiday Mexicans celebrate to honor the day when their self-inflicted backwater of a country joined the large club of nations that defeated France.

Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with the USA, but Americans acknowledge it out of the goodness of their hearts to make their brothers and sisters of Mexican descent feel part of the nation, and to chow down on Mexican cuisine.

Which begs the question: Why anyone would be offended by the flag of a nation so accommodating to a holiday of another country?

It's not like these students were wearing T-shirts emblazoned with the flag of the invader France, or even the usurper Emperor Maximilian I of Mexico, or someone even more maniacally bloodthirsty like Che Guevera. They were wearing a reminder to students of Mexican descent that they are damn lucky to not be living in Mexico.

So why the offense?

Because Cinco de Mayo has become yet another pawn in the game of identity politics, professional victimology, and the racial/nationalist games of political hacks of groups like La Raza. It is no longer a celebration of beating France, but a stick to be used to beat the United States of America into becoming Mexico North. Because we all know what a wonderful condition Mexico is in right now.

Here's a simple policy suggestion. If anyone is offended by the flag of the country they live in, then they should be moved, post-haste to the country they apparently prefer. Simple as that.

2. Greek Rioters.

Decades of bad management, corruption, and tax fraud, have turned Greece from the "sick man of Europe" to the basket case of the Western World. People are rioting, assaulting police, smashing windows, burning businesses, and even murdering poor bank employees because they want to keep getting 14 monthly paychecks instead of 12.

And let us not forget that they're letting communists and anarchists run roughshod with their permission. Try that in my empire, and you can consider yourself lucky if you only end up in the belly of a Grenarrian razorbeast. I'm all for decent pay and pensions, but Greece's situation is ridiculous, the country is going down in flames, threatening to take the rest of Europe with it, and these people don't care, just give them their bloated entitlements.

Where were the voices of reason that said: You can't do that, we can't afford it! when the unions were formulating their demands?

Where are the current voices of reason that say: Burning down Athens only do us more harm then good, as they storm through the streets?

They're definitely not in Greece, that's for sure.

Of course, this will all be repeated on an exponential scale in the USA, if the Democrats succeed with their "hope and change" agenda, but with an added soupcon of the Chinese aiming nukes at them to demand repayment of debts.

Anyway, if you are on this list, then...
Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

The Leftist Mind: Straight From The Horse's Mouth

A SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY BY
LIBBY RALL
Spokeshuman for P.O.O.P.
Progressives Organized for Organizing Progress

Hello fellow humans.

I've been given some space here on this normally racist and fascist blog to present to you normally racist and fascist alternative media readers the reasoning behind progressive thinking, or as we prefer to call it "correct" thinking.

ARIZONA: This southwestern state has officially become over 100 times worse than Nazi Germany with their racist and fascist laws oppressing our poor undocumented sisters and brothers.

Sure, all the law really does is enact pre-existing federal laws asking local police to inquire about people's immigration status when arresting them for committing crimes, but that's not the point. The point is that we need these undocumented workers more than those awful legal immigrants so we can:

1. Suppress wages at the bottom of the economic ladder. That way we can prevent the simple economics of supply and demand from decreasing poverty, and make people believe that only the government can do it.

2. Use the politics of "cultural sensitivity" to keep these undocumented people in ethnically segregated enclaves where they are unable to learn the national language and fully participate in the political system in any way that we progressives don't directly control.

3. With these undocumented people carefully isolated to protect the wonderful culture that has done so many wonderful things with Mexico, they are then completely dependent on the beneficent state to maintain them, and will thus vote to keep the correct progressive party in power when they are given the right to vote.

Now some compare the hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants to some sort of "invasion," from a third world country. Now that's just wrong, when a technologically advanced or prosperous country sends its citizens into a poor country to make over the poor country in the image of the rich country, it's imperialism. When the citizens of a poor country pour into a rich country to remake it in the image of the poor country, it's social progress in action.

That's why Arizona is evil.

Douchebags of the Month!

Greetings puny earthlings!

Sorry it's been so long between posts. I'm lazy, I admit, but there's been so much douchebaggery lately I just had to make a statement.

So here are the DOUCHEBAGS OF THE MONTH in no particular order.

THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION For a myriad of reasons, but chiefly their ignoring of Iran's nuclear threat, and discarding America's allies in favor of their ongoing smear campaign against the Tea Party movement through proxies like--

PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON The pants-less prez put on his smart glasses to show the world just how big a tool he really is. What did he do this time? He compared the Tea Party movement to mass murdering scumbag Timothy McVeigh. I wanted to call him and ask how a movement asking for more responsible spending of taxpayer's money could be compared to a paranoid thug who got pushed over the edge by the bungling operations of Clinton's justice department, but all I could get was his secretary. She was no help because she wouldn't talk with her mouth full.

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA For continuing to play lap-dog to the current administration and playing along with their smear campaign against a growing segment of the population. And they wonder why they're all sinking and alternative outlets are thriving. Disgusting and stupid, a dangerous combination.

COMEDY CENTRAL For caving into the not-so-veiled threats of a Islamist and giving them yet another victory in their ongoing war against the right of free speech and true rebels like the makers of South Park. Comedy Central will mock Christianity and Judaism to no end, but when it comes to the people who actually do murder artists on the street they become nutless wonders. Then they go to a dinner party in Malibu and be feted as "courageous" for letting Sarah Silverman make yet another boring Jesus joke.

ABU TALHAH AL AMRIKEE For being the maker of the no-so-veiled threats against the makers of South Park and the right of free expression. At least have the cojones to admit you made a threat when you make a threat.

THE GREEN MOVEMENT For transforming from a movement aimed at curbing pollution and toxic waste into a profiteering, power mongering bastardization of all it once stood for. Thanks to Rachel Carson's misguided campaign against DDT hundreds of thousands, if not millions die from malaria every year. Scientists have whored out and destroyed their integrity in the name of "Climate Change" and politicians do everything they can to grab your money, and control your lives. Way to go Greenies, way to go.

If you find yourself on this list, then it means that...

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

The Leftist Mind: Nukes For Thee, But Not For Me

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for the light posting lately, but I've been a very lazy overlord.

But I think it's safe to dip our toe into that cesspit known as the Leftist Mind, and this time I'm going for the nuclear option.

For decades the simplest part of American foreign policy was the country's nuclear posture. It basically said that any country, or agents of said country, that attacks the USA with nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, would get the living shit nuked out of them.

This is actually a very sound policy, and one followed by American presidents for decades. Even Jimmy Carter signed off on it. But current prez Barack Obama decides that striking back at America's foreign enemies with the biggest bottle of whoop-ass Earthlings can muster is just a little too rough and tumble for him.

His new policy is that if a country attacks the USA with biological or chemical weapons, he will have his lawyers check their paperwork to see if that country is compliant with international nuclear non-proliferation treaties. If they have their no-nuke papers filed with the proper international body, then they won't have to face the ultimate sanction, and instead have to face some sort of conventional reprisal.

To translate: Imagine an American city completely depopulated with some nasty lab-created super-germ. Everyone, and I mean hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, in that city is dead, and some have become zombies thanks to this attack. The nasty super-germ was made in a lab in a country called Shitholistand.

President Obama, faced with a city of corpses, immediately dispatches his lawyers to make sure that Shitholistan hasn't been making nukes along with their super-germs. If they're declared nuke free by the United Nations, then Obama has the option of lobbing a few conventional bombs at the country, doing nothing but kill a few token civilians deliberately put in harm's way by the Grand Poobah of Shitholistan, or he can send in troops, so they can all be exposed to Shitholistan's collection of nasty viruses and bacterium.

Pres. Obama has effectively tied America's swift right hand behind its back.

Why?

Because Pres. Obama is a leftist, and here is how leftists think.

1. Leftists believe that the USA is an imperialist power that oppresses, abuses, and has actually nuked poor innocent non-Americans for no other reason than simple racism.

In short, he thinks like Tom Hanks. I'll bet dinars to donuts that Obama is convinced that Truman OK'ed the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki because he wanted to "annihilate" the "other" for daring to be ethnically different. Completely forgetting that the Japanese of the 1940s were a 100% militarized society, hardened by decades of Asian conquests, whose soldiers fought like demons and didn't whine like pussy little Al Qaida bitches that the Yankees were mean to them on the rare instances they were captured alive. And let's not forget that Japan also started the war

2. Leftists think that if you're weak, then you will be loved.

Sure, and unicorns will frolic in green fields. You see, the Leftist sees the world as a zero-sum game. America is prosperous not because of its individual liberty and industrious population. It is prosperous because it must have taken that wealth from someone else. The same goes with strength. To the leftist America cannot create strength, it has to steal it, by bullying poor innocent people like the Iranian Mullahs.

So, by their logic, if America is weak, then the oppressed will love them, and no longer attack.

WRONG!

If America is weak, then those Obama likes to call "outliers" like Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Ill, and all the other tin-pot dictators will see it as a big fat target unwilling and unable to fight back, and they will all go for a piece.

3. The leftist doesn't believe in truth. Decades of "post-modern" intellectual nihilism has created a generation, now sitting in Washington, that thinks that there is no such thing as truth, or such "black & white" concepts like right and wrong. To them there is only opinion, and all opinion is valid, even if spat out by a delusional paranoiac hallucinating golden showers in the UN, while preparing to bring about his personal messiah by slaughtering as many people as possible.

This means that a leftist is perfectly able to decry fellow Americans as "racists," "sexists," "homophobes," and "terrorists" while completely ignoring real, and violent racist, sexist, homophobic terrorists who publicly declare their intentions and attitudes.

Those people are forgiven, or excused, because they are "oppressed" because someone from the evil imperialist West did something mean to one of their ancestors, and not because their own leadership consists of a gaggle of certifiable psychopaths.

Now I'd like to go back to the advantage of having a nuclear option.

As you know, I'm the Supreme Overlord of the Known Universe. Now that position means that a lot of little piss-pots are always trying to do something nasty to become the next alpha dog. There is one thing that keeps those piss-pots at bay.

And that is making them think you're fucking out of your fucking mind.

Making your enemies think you're crazy, and fully capable of unleashing the unspeakable upon them for looking at you cockeyed is a wonderful way of making them think twice before doing something stupid. Dictators are all the same, they'll gladly kill thousands of the innocent, but threaten to irradiate their own innards with the heat of a thousand suns, and they tend to chill out.

To do that right, you have to keep all your options open. Because someone who refuses certain ways of striking back, even when justified, is just going to get hit, again, and again.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
by attacking Pearl Harbor.