Is This The Best You Can Do?

A Remulak MoxArgon Editorial

You know, those lefty moonbat bloggers are on my last nerve, and when that goes, well you better watch out!

Now I'm used to them engaging in nasty, scurrilous, and often racist attacks against one of my personal favourite bloggers, Michelle Malkin, but this time they have gone too far.

After my Michelle wrote an article criticizing the new 'image' for teen songbird turned post-teen skank Charlotte Church some so-called 'Liberal' bloggers (I will not boost their traffic by linking) posted this picture:
They claim that it's a photo of Michelle Malkin and since she's in a bikini, she shouldn't criticize someone for setting a bad example for young girls.

Well, there are a lot of things wrong with this, but let me get to where this hurts me personally.

According to Android CAI/7, Michelle's face has been photoshopped onto another person's body.

YOU BASTARDS!

First you get my hopes up & then it turns out to be a fake!

BAIT & SWITCH!

BAIT & SWITCH!

You know, I've blown up entire planets for less.

Remember that.

But let's put the issue of fauxtography aside and move onto the actual argument that these bloggers are trying to make. Let us, for the sake of this argument, assume that the picture is real, and that I'm not planning horrible revenge against your planet.

These bloggers are making the assumption that a girl in college having her photo taken while wearing a bikini somehow disallows them from criticizing anyone for marketing over-sexualized and irresponsible behaviour to young girls.

These so-called 'Liberals' are saying that all women who have been photographed while wearing bathing suits are somehow 'whores' and 'less than human' and not allowed to express an opinion.

That doesn't sound very liberal to me.

In fact it sounds like something that Zawahiri guy would say in one of his cave-side chats.

There's nothing obscene about the picture, there's no hint of nipple or anything potentially naughty, and trust me, before Android CAI/7's analysis, I studied it very carefully. It's just a well-built girl in a bathing suit, probably heading out for a day at the beach.

So what?

Besides, even the world's raunchiest and most prolific porn-star has a right to express an opinion, even on the marketing of sex to children.

It's a right belonging to every man, woman, and child in the world, not a privilege dispensed by self-proclaimed arbiters of what's considered 'politically correct.' So you could produce a hundred real pictures of Michelle Malkin in bathing suits or birthday suits, and would not take away that right.

I wish you had produced a hundred real pictures, but no luck for me.

I have a wild suggestion for those lefty bloggers, put away your fake photos, your conspiracy theories, and your racist attacks and try debating the folks on the Right with something called FACTS.

I know you don't have them on your side, but give it a try. You'll still lose, but at least you'll be losing honestly.

Point/Counterpoint- Leaky Leaky Leaky

TEKTAK- Greetings puny Earthlings, and welcome to another edition of Point/Counterpoint. From the right, it's me Tektak F. Mechanoid, and from the left, Snotglob T. Mutant.

SNOTGLOB- Hello.

TEKTAK- Today's topic: There's been yet another leak from the American intelligence community. This time it's select portions of the National Intelligence Estimate.

SNOTGLOB- I've seen the portions the brave patriots in the MSM have released. It proves that American foreign policy is sole cause of terrorism in the world.

TEKTAK- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut. The NIE tidbits prove nothing except that no one in the CIA can be trusted to keep their mouths shut if it might help their friends in the Democrats.

SNOTGLOB- What's wrong with helping the Democrats?

TEKTAK- Let's see.... hmmm. There's that whole TREASON thing. The Democrats and the Mainstream Media are not in the government. That means that they are not supposed to go around blabbing important secret information for the sole purpose of trying to embarrass and hamper a democratically elected government during wartime. They've completely forgotten the concept of the loyal opposition and don't deserve to get elected dog catcher.

Aren't you in the least bit suspicious of all the work the CIA is doing to undermine the government?

Doesn't that concern you at all?

SNOTGLOB- Only if the President was a Democrat. What about what the pieces of the NIE say? What do you have to say about that Mr. I'm So Smart Because My Brain's Got Functioning Synapses?

TEKTAK- The NIE portions the press are harping on say that American policy is breeding more Islamic terrorism. It might be doing that, but so do

• Books
• Movies
• Television shows
• Operas
• Cartoons
• Women's rights
• Gay rights
• Religious freedom
• Free speech
• Philosophical discussion
• Jews
• Christians
• Buddhists
• Hindus
• Atheists
• Agnostics
• Capitalism
• Democracy

Islamic fascism is founded on the concept of perpetual outrage. If it's not American policy, then it will be over American's unwillingness to live under Sharia law. There is nothing, short of complete surrender, that could possibly appease them.

SNOTGLOB- Then maybe they should surrender for the sake of peace.

TEKTAK- Surrender? You're getting dumber by the minute.

SNOTGLOB- But they're unbeatable. America has yet to defeat Al Qaeda in Iraq and Afghanistan.

TEKTAK- True. But it's not because of Al-Qaeda's invulnerability. It's because the only defense the Islamists have is the West's innate gentleness and charity.

Westerners balk at massacring civilians to get at Al Qaeda suspects and often endure extra risk and damage to minimize the damage to others.

However, the charity of the west has a limit, and when it hits that limit, I wouldn't want to be a Muslim on planet Earth, that's for sure. It's up to the moderate Muslims, if there are any left, to decide if they really want to all be martyrs, because if things keep going they way they're going... Well, let's just say that it could get very messy. That's all the time for now. Check in next time and keep watching the skies.

CAPTION TIME WITH TEKTAK- WE HAVE A WEINER

Hi kids.

It's time for some fun and games. I want you folks out their in blog-o-land to make up an amusing caption for this photo:

The Winner won't actually get anything except bragging rights. We might rule the Universe, but we're a pack of cheap bastards.

Now get to it!

UPDATE- WINNERS!

1st Place Pandy with....
"No tongue when we're on camera- it's so unseemly."

2nd Place Wyatt Earp with...
"Mahmoud, it's called deodorant. It's not expensive."

3rd & 4th place goes to Damian G. with...
1) Why do burqas... Suddenly appear...
2) "Oh, Mahmoud, let me be your seventy-third virgin..."

And 5th place to RT with...
"You had me at hello."

Now some may say that I'm just posting them in the order they were entered.

That just happens to be a coincidence.

Don't Buy Gas From This Ass

GOP & The City has started up something that I think is a great idea. A call for Americans to stop buying their gas and oil from Citgo which is owned by the government of Venezuela, which is in turn, the sole property of dictator and sulfur sniffer Hugo Chavez.

Click here to learn more about it.

Intergalactic Roundtable #2.2

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings, and welcome to another edition of The MoxArgon Group. Joining me are my regular panelists, Xran The Fleshrender, Android Cai/7, and Varos Quasar. First topic: All over the world Muslims are expressing homicidal rage.

XRAN- What's new about that?

MOXARGON- This is different than the usual homicidal rage over books, cartoons, films, music, women's rights, Israel, Jews, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, homosexuals, secularists, atheists, conservatives, liberals, and other Muslims. It's aimed at one man in particular, Pope Benedict XVI.

ANDROID CAI/7- I've heard of that. A most illogical reaction.

VAROS- What's illogical? Didn't he call Islam 'evil and inhumane?'

XRAN- No. A Byzantine emperor named Pal-o'my-legos or something like that said that in the 14th century.

ANDROID CAI/7- Pope Benedict used the quote in a discussion on the connection between faith and reason [or logic], and how faith without reason can be dangerous.

MOXARGON- And lead to things like bloody wars to force people to either convert, pay a special tax to spare their lives, or die.

VAROS- So what's the Muslim's problem?

MOXARGON- Apparently it's with any attempt to link faith with reason. Of course there's also an ulterior motive to Benedict's speech. He was literally calling for secular intellectuals and moderate Muslims, who live in terror of their brethren, to take a stand against the tide of Islamist fascism.

VAROS- Doesn't such talk merely fuel Islamophobia?

ANDROID CAI/7- I am afraid that the burden of proof when it comes to Islamophobia falls on Muslims. For the past thirty-plus Earth years they have done nothing but inspire fear and dread among the rest of the world.

MOXARGON- The world's coming to a tipping point on the Muslim question. They will soon realize that appeasement only leads to more violence and terror at the hands of radical Islamic fascists. Then they'll reach a point where they will abandon reason and begin to strike back in horrible ways. After that happens, it won't matter if you're a radical or a moderate, just being a Muslim will be your doom.

XRAN- They don't even see the irony in responding with homicidal violence as a way of expressing outrage over being considered violent and homicidal.

ANDROID CAI/7- One does not win rational arguments by killing nuns.

MOXARGON- Good point. Next topic: Some folks in the US congress want to extend constitutional rights to captured Al Qaida terrorists. What do you think?

ANDROID CAI/7- Highly illogical.

XRAN- Gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

VAROS- What does Miranda have to do with this?

MOXARGON- Nothing really. You see folks, former Secretary of State Colin Powell included, want the protections of the Geneva Convention extended to captured terrorists.

ANDROID CAI/7- That is most illogical. The Geneva Convention only applies to nation-states that have both signed and followed the treaty. It does not extend to violent terrorist movements that deliberately use civilians as targets, shields and disguises.

MOXARGON- My thought exactly. Folks like that are afforded no protection under any treaty or constitution. You can essentially do whatever you want to them.

VAROS- But what about allegations of torture?

XRAN- I've read those allegations. Holy hozboks, we got worse in school, didn't we Remulak?

MOXARGON- I still remember the 'swirly gauntlet' from 6th grade.

XRAN- Or Butch Thorax's 'pink-belly jamboree.'

VAROS- But won't the mistreatment of people taken prisoner by the USA lead to mistreatment of Americans taken prisoner by the other states?

MOXARGON- Name one enemy of the United States from the past 50 years that treated captured Americans within the rules of the Geneva Convention?

VAROS- Um...

XRAN- As Grandpappy used to say: "You only get what you give."

MOXARGON- Exactly. Brutal enemies deserve brutality. It's the only way they'll learn to leave you alone and stop shoving your head in the locker room toilet. Now some Democrats are demanding that the captured terrorists get lawyers, and that those lawyers get full disclosure of all intelligence gathered on the prisoner.

XRAN- I can see an army of Lynn Stewart's rushing to their phones to tell their buddies in Al Qaida the latest dirt.

MOXARGON- They'll be worse than the New York Times. I say 'to hell with the terrorists.' Next topic: Hugo Chavez shocked the world by calling George W. Bush 'the devil' and commenting on the 'smell of sulphur' on the podium.

XRAN- I think that smell was the the three bean salad they served at lunch.

MOXARGON- He also praised a book by Noam Chomsky as evidence of America's desire for global hegemony.

VAROS- Are you saying that Chavez claims to have actually finished one of Chomsky's books?

MOXARGON- That's what he's saying.

VAROS- Either he really is crazy, or he's a big fat liar.

ANDROID CAI/7- I do not see the problem with American Hegemony.

MOXARGON- What do you mean?

ANDROID CAI/7- Americans do not rule with cruelty. They don't desire slaves. In fact, all they seem to desire is that everyone on Earth lives as well and as freely as they do. What is so wrong with that?

XRAN- It's the same thing with all the anti-Semitic conspiracy theories claiming a Jewish plot to rule the world.

MOXARGON- Maybe there's a defect in the brains of a percentage of the Earth's population that actively seeks governments that do nothing but make their lives miserable and are repulsed by those who seek to improve their lives.

VAROS- That would make an interesting study. I should collect some samples next time I'm in the neighborhood.

MOXARGON- I suppose you heard that the Prime Minister of Thailand was overthrown in a bloodless coup while he was in New York to address the United Nations.

XRAN- I can imagine his speech: "My fellow world leaders. Can I crash on your couch for a while?"

ANDROID CAI/7- Didn't you gain power through a bloodless coup Moxargon?

MOXARGON- Yes I did. All vaporized. Well, that's all the time we have for now. So keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

The New Rage-O-Meter

Wuzzadem has posted a new alert system to let us know the level of rage in the Islamic World. I think it's pretty accurate.

A Hot New Look For Fall

Hi folks.

Just doing a little clean-up. Updating the template and all that. Hope you all like it. Let me know what you think. Snotglob thinks it's 'cosmic' I just like stars.

XRAN'S HOLLYWOOD BEAT 4: SIN CITY PATRIOT

Comic book artist/writer, and budding filmmaker Frank "Sin City" Miller has penned an essay for National Public Radio on the subject of patriotism. It really is a must-read. Hat tip James Hudnall.

Now if only we can get Osama Bin Ladin alone in a room with Marv for a little "friendly chat." I'm sure the big guy would take issue with Osama's treatment of women.

TekTak's Poetry Corner.

Greetings puny Earthlings. It's TekTak F. Mechanoid here to bring a little culture to these drab proceedings.

Now there's a lot of talk about the upcoming ABC miniseries The Path to 9/11. In fact some Democrats, in the interest of preserving free speech are threatening to pull ABC's license if they don't pull the show. Apparently showing the failing of the pre-9/11 Bush administration is fine, but showing the screws ups of old Bubba Clinton are verboten.

Now I was asked to give my opinion, and I've decided to do it through poetry.

Some Democrats down in DC
Didn't like a show on TV
So they ordered some cuts
Or they'd kick some butts
And kill poor ABC

Oh no! cried poor ABC
Have Mercy, they beseech
We just tried to follow the facts
No need for desperate acts
We're just doing some free speech

Do as you're told, commanded the Democrats
As they waved nasty Senatorial bats
We decide what speech is free
Not people like ABC
And certainly not the proletariats

Thank you. Thank you. I'll expect my Nobel Prize for literature soon.

XRAN'S HOLLYWOOD BEAT 3: IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

Finally you silly Earthlings are learning how to handle political criticism, and of people to do it, it's those namby-pamby Democrats who figured it out.

When ABC's The Path to 9/11 threatened to show a less than flattering portrait of the Clinton administration, they acted the way proper dictators should. They all jumped on the network like a pack of rabid Silurian Pocknocks and forced them to change it.

Some of are even calling for a congressional investigation of the filmmakers. I'm feeling so proud of them, I'm getting all choked up.

And what really makes me happy is that they're doing this with the sort of damn the plasma torpedos attitude that gives no thought at all to the consequences of their actions. They see no problem in using political pressure to squelch free speech in their quest for ultimate power.

They don't seem to care that they're giving Republicans the right to demand changes be made to films like Fahrenheit 9/11, V for Vendetta, Syriana, Loose Change, and other film they deem insulting or slanderous.

Maybe they'll finally give the Matrix movies a decent ending.

Now the Democrats could have gone the wussy route, like they usually do, and file a lawsuit against the network and the producers of the Path to 9/11, but they're taking the smart route.

This way they can get what they want without having to face any tough questions in open court while under oath. This way they can bury anything that might embarrass them and get rid of that pesky free speech thing at the same time.

I'm so proud of you right now, I could plotz.

1ST INTERGALACTIC INTERNET VIDEO FESTIVAL!

Greeting puny Earthlings, your future lord and mast Remulak MoxArgon here, and today I'm wearing my lucky filmmaker hat.

Why?

Because we're starting a festival of Intergalactic Internet videos. You might recall that we put out SEVERAL calls for suggestions of YouTube videos, but all we got was one from Damien G. at Conservathink.

So, we drafted Vox Poplar to make one for us, and we made a pleasant little film of our own. So let's start with the best:

Pretty good, Van Johnson good, that one should win the Ham D'Or or whatever those Frenchies call it these days. Up next is Vox Poplar with his epic retelling of the whole Valerie Plame/Joe Wilson debacle.

Now this is Damian G.'s submission. I think it shows where his mind is these days. Possibly NSFW, if you got a thing for claymation.

That wraps it up for now. We'd like to try this again, especially with more video suggestions. Make your own, submit someone else's we don't really care. So until next time, keep watching the skies because we're watching you.