5.07.2007

InterGalactic Roundtable 2.9: Time for Time & Other Stuff...

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings. It's time once again for another edition of The MoxArgon Group. I'm your host, Remulak MoxArgon, ruler of the known universe and inevitable conqueror of your wretched little rock of a planet. Joining me are the usual suspects. Space pirate and political columnist for the TransGalaxy Review: Xran the Fleshrender, intergalactic mercenary, assassin and host of "Varos in the Morning" on the Antares Radio Network: Varos Quasar, and android conqueror and entertainment columnist for The Mechanoid Monthly: Android CAI/7. Welcome everyone. First topic: Time Magazine put out its list of the world 100 most influential people and left out President George W. Bush. What do you think?

XRAN- A blatantly politicized slap in the face from a blatantly politicized publication posing as a 'news' magazine. They put a rude, loudmouthed nutcase who thinks the American government masterminded 9/11 over the leader of the free world. They also include the brother of a man who turned a once prosperous country into a blood-soaked basket case of a Stalinist dictatorship.

VAROS- They included Al Gore in their list of 'Great Thinkers and Scientists.' That should mean something.

MOXARGON- I thought that was for people who have made scientific or philosophical breakthroughs, not for creating rampant hysteria in order to make millions of dollars off of questionable 'carbon indulgence' schemes.

VAROS- You're just in the pay of big oil.

ANDROID CAI/7- Time also says that Tina Fey, the writer/star of a sitcom that's was saved from cancellation by a co-star's over-publicized child-abuse is somehow more influential than the president of the most powerful nation on the planet Earth. That's very illogical.

MOXARGON- Maybe Time's version of the world is confined to the elite dinner parties of Manhattan where freshly botoxed millionaires dine on imported Russian caviar served by illegal immigrants without health insurance, and talk about how horrible Bush is for not overriding Clinton's rejection of Kyoto, before piling their surgically tightened behinds into carbon spewing stretch limos to take them to the airport where their private Gulfstream jets can zip them off to Miami for a round of night-clubbing and casual Viagra fuelled infidelities with other freshly botoxed millionaires. They then jet home to their oversized 'summer cottages' in the Hamptons with enough floor space to house Nicaragua, half of which work there as domestic labour, all the while burning enough electricity and fossil fuels to power Zimbabwe and consuming enough food to feed Bangladesh, but it's all right. Al Gore sold them shares that say that Hugo Chavez is going to plant a tree in their name, and the food's all going to be purged anyway, because you just gotta stay skinny, or you won't need the freaking botox.

XRAN- I'm sensing some bitterness, you kind of had a bit of a Dennis Miller type rant-thing going on there.

MOXARGON- I just don't like jerks. Hell, the New York Times literally goes out of the way to say that Bush is too much of a rube to entertain the Queen of England. Kind of forgetting that Bush went to Andover, Yale, and has an MBA from Harvard. Of course New York's limo-liberal crowd have never let little things like facts ruin a good prejudice. Next topic: The LA Times tried smearing attorney/former Senator/ and actor Fred Thompson by rather clumsily implying that an acting role of a racist on the show Wiseguy somehow means he really is a racist.

XRAN- Sure, and Ken Wahl's really an undercover agent for the FBI.

ANDROID CAI/7- That would explain why we haven't seen much of him lately.

XRAN- That's not relevant.

VAROS- I think you're being hypocritical.

XRAN- How?

VAROS- You're always bringing up people's pasts to smear them. Why can't the LA Times do that to Thompson?

MOXARGON- Let me field this one. Varos, you are retarded. When we bring up a person's past it's usually to illustrate actions and attitudes in the REAL WORLD. Thompson's role on that show was fiction, fantasy, totally unconnected to reality, much like modern liberalism.

VAROS- I don't see your point.

XRAN- It's like saying a politician is a porridge eating bear because he played Papa Bear in his third grade production of "Goldilocks."

VAROS- Still don't get it.

MOXARGON- Let's move to our next topic. France has elected tough talking conservative Nicholas Sarkozy to the presidency. This makes him the first French leader since Napoleon who comes from a family of immigrants. Will Sarkozy be the next Margaret Thatcher, or turn into the next Jacques Chirac?

XRAN- For the love of God he better be the French equivalent of Margaret Thatcher. Anything less will spell doom for France.

VAROS- What has Margaret Thatcher done for Britain other than rebuild its economy, improved its status among nations, and enforced the rule of law?

ANDROID CAI/7- I must concur with Xran on this issue. France's stagnant economy, rampant crime, and immigration problems need a strong hand that willing to break out the plasma cannons sometimes.

MOXARGON- Yes, sometimes you do need the proverbial plasma cannons.

ANDROID CAI/7- I was not being proverbial.

MOXARGON- Okay. Next issue: A recent poll of Democrats state that slightly less than 4 in 10 Democrats are willing to commit to idea that George Bush wasn't behind or had previous knowledge of the 9/11 attack. The majority of Democrats are split in the 'definitely knew/involved' category and the 'not sure' category. What do you think?

XRAN- I think they're all nuts.

VAROS- If that many Democrats believe it, then it must be true.

ANDROID CAI/7- I think it reveals the paranoid immaturity of modern Democrats.

MOXARGON- Don't forget the overwhelming influence of the internet based radical-fringe. I think that it's only a matter of time before the Democrats completely give up the facade of being a responsible American political party and run on a platform of Sharia law and genocide against Jews to 'save the world from the Evil Bush-Hitler-Halliburton-Zionist conspiracy.' Hell, they want to take CIA agents off terrorism and reassign them as minions of Al Gore. If that's not symptomatic of the sort of delusion based politics that lead to fascism, I don't know what is. Well, that's all the time we have for today, so goodbye for now and keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Am I wrong or did Time magazine have George Bush on their cover a year ago as the most influential person of the year? I must agree with you on this one.

Rosie is such a gift to the Republican Party. I wish she would just go away…she does not speak for most Democrats. Can Remulak beam her up and introduce her to Snotglob?

In all fairness, I do not think Al has spent his entire life studying global warming for the money.

I must say while I respect our current president GWB, I will be extremely happy when his “reign” is up and we can bring complete sentences back to the White House.

Please Fred Thompson show us what you got! The current GOP contenders are a bunch of fear- mongering dorks!

I seem to remember a memo the Clinton Administration left for the Bush Administration as the number one threat facing this nation, and it read: “Urgent! Bin Laden planning air strikes against the U.S.” When Condi was asked why the report was ignored, she said it just wasn’t that clear. Huh?

Since GWB shut down the department within the CIA that was hunting for Osama Bin Laden, then they might as well use that money for something. I’m thinking we have already given George oh… somewhere around… $400 BILLION DOLLARS for his “war on terror”

Get some sleep MoxArgon Group and try again in the morning.

(smiley face)

Remulak MoxArgon said...

In all fairness, I do not think Al has spent his entire life studying global warming for the money.

No, he hasn't. That's all a load of publicist manufactured hooey.

If he was studying the environment the first half of his life would have been spent panicking about the impending ICE AGE that was going to bury New York under mile high glaciers by the year 2000.

Global 'Warming' didn't exist as a crisis until Margaret Thatcher pounced on the work of a lone scientist (who was a pariah from the rest of the climate community) as an excuse to break the coal miner's union and turn Britain onto nuclear power.

While Gore may have had a lifelong interest in the environment. His interest now is more on making money selling carbon indulgences that don't really mean anything. I'll believe in man-made Global Warming when Al Gore believes it, and the Martian polar ice caps stop melting and growing in the same patterns as Earth's ice caps.

And what about his power bill?

Is he running a grow op in his basement?

And don't say that it's all right because he bought 'carbon credits'. He bought them from himself, and the whole system is monitored by Al Gore and his money-making buddies.

And as for Rosie, judging by that Rasmussen poll, she's the new voice of the Democratic Party. So you better get used to her, because your fellow Democrats are going to put her back on TV as soon as possible and she's going to open that mouth as wide as she can.

I seem to remember a memo the Clinton Administration left for the Bush Administration as the number one threat facing this nation, and it read: “Urgent! Bin Laden planning air strikes against the U.S.” When Condi was asked why the report was ignored, she said it just wasn’t that clear. Huh?

Gee, and yet 6 months before she supposedly said "it wasn't that clear?" she gave a speech about the threat of Bin Laden and Al Qaida and hijackings. Yet another Hitlerian 'Big Lie' made 'true' by constant repetition.

Why don't you ask Sandy Berger for his copy of the memo?

Oh wait, you can't, he snuck it out of the archive stuffed in his Fruit of the Looms and chopped it up so no one else could read his notes on it. Wonder why he did that? Could he have had something to hide?

Rogue said...

TIME to get new contributors.
TIME to get off the socialist train
TIME to open mind, dump out feces
TIME...this could go on forever...

Anonymous said...

Remulak,

Can I call you Rem? Anyway, have you seen the Al Gore documentary? (Just curious) Do you believe in global warming at all, or is it just the man-made contribution to global warming the part that sends you into a galaxy size fit of rage? Picking on Al Gore just seems kind of pathetic…but it’s funny to read nonetheless…ok…no not really.

How would a bunch of galaxy goobers like the Moron Group…oops I mean Moxargon Group know about global warming anyway. (I’m sorry I couldn’t resist)
National and international science academies and professional societies have assessed the current scientific opinion on climate change, in particular recent global warming. These assessments have largely followed or endorsed the IPCC position that "An increasing body of observations gives a collective picture of a warming world and other changes in the climate system... There is new and stronger evidence that most of the warming observed over the last 50 years is attributable to human activities". In fact the only scientific society that rejects man-made global warming is The American Association of Petroleum Geologists. I wonder who in the world funds this society? Hmmmmm…
Global Warming is real and even if you are correct in your “educated” opinion that we are not contributing in the slightest, what would be the harm in being more environmentally correct?

Thanks for the warning on Rosie. I do not think the Republican Party has anyone quite as annoyingly pathetic as Rosie…wait…wait…I can think of one…Rush Limbaugh! (Ok, Rosie may have him beat)

Condi gave a speech? Well then that obviously that means she was working feverishly on preparing this nation for a threat! (All talk and no action) C’mon Remy…may I call you Remy? I suggest you read “Against All Enemies: Inside America’s War on Terror” by Richard Clarke. Richard Clarke is the former counterterrorism czar for both the Clinton and Bush Administrations. He knows a thing or two on the subject. Richard Clarke served seven presidents and worked inside the White House for George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush until he resigned in March 2003. He knows, better than anyone, the hidden successes and failures of the Clinton years. He knows, better than anyone, why we failed to prevent 9/11. He knows, better than anyone, how President Bush reacted to the attack and what happened behind the scenes in the days that followed. He knows whether or not Iraq presented a terrorist threat to the United States and whether there were hidden costs to the invasion of that country.
Most disturbing of all are Clarke's revelations about the Bush administration's lack of interest in al Qaeda prior to September 11. From the moment the Bush team took office and decided to retain Clarke in his post as the counterterrorism czar, Clarke tried to persuade them to take al Qaeda as seriously as had Bill Clinton. For months, he was denied the opportunity even to make his case to Bush. He encountered key officials who gave the impression that they had never heard of al Qaeda; who focused incessantly on Iraq; who even advocated long-discredited conspiracy theories about Saddam's involvement in previous attacks on the United States. Clarke was the nation's crisis manager on 9/11, running the Situation Room — a scene described here for the first time — and then watched in dismay at what followed. After ignoring existing plans to attack al Qaeda when he first took office, George Bush made disastrous decisions when he finally did pay attention.

I’m sure Sandy Berger was absolutely hiding something terribly incriminating for the Clinton Administration. I guess we will never know…

Had fun today…