What Have We Learned 2

Howdy Earthlings!

Xran the Fleshrender here, with a few more lessons learned from the 2000s.

So let's roll...

1. Poverty is not the root cause of terrorism. Look at the roll of prominent terrorists and you'll find that very few of them were actually suffering any poverty. Usama Bin Ladin comes from a family with a net worth in the billions, Ayman Al Zawahiri is a trained doctor, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is university educated and from a middle class background, and the Wannabe Bloomer Boomer Mr. Mutallab is the son of a rich Nigerian banker.

The root cause of terrorism is a combo of religiously inspired ego, coupled with intense self loathing due to all the self-inflicted suffering of the Islamic people, that's aimed at the West because they've got Westerners from University Professors, Media Pundits, to the Current President taking the blame for all that suffering.

2. The science is not settled. As recently liberated e-mails reveal, Global Warming is not a science, or even a religion, because a religion must be able to stand up to some form of theological debate, it is a cult. A cult where there are no questions asked, and those who dare to ask questions, are cast out and professionally burned as heretics.

3. Terrorism is not a civilian criminal problem. The laws of war , and even the Geneva Convention, dictate that anyone who engages in terrorist acts, while out of uniform, and using civilians as shields is not a prisoner of war, but an Enemy Combatant. Enemy combatants literally have no rights under the Geneva Convention, and are not to be granted extraordinary legal protections by an Attorney General whose old law firm is currently defending them.

4. "Social Justice" is the new refuge of the scoundrel. As those pesky ACORN videos show, if you want a career getting away with criminal acts, get millions in federal funding, and have politicians protecting you while kissing your ass, cover your scam under the cloak of "social justice."

Plus, if anyone calls you on your criminality, you can call them racist, fascist, and any other nicknames you can come up with.

5. Peace movements aren't pro-peace, they are anti-democracy. Throughout modern history there have been movements aimed at protesting those savage warmongering regimes who go around picking on innocent peace-loving countries. Of course those savage warmongers all happen to be democracies that have been attacked by those allegedly peace loving countries, which just happen to be ruled by bloodthirsty dictators.

If you have any of your own lessons that you have learned over the past decade, then leave them in the comments.

Keep watching the skies kiddies, because we are watching you.

What Have We Learned?

Greetings puny Earthlings.

It's hard to believe, but the wretched inhabitants of Earth have managed to get through the first decade of the twenty-first century.

Now a lot of folks like to take this time to look back at the events of the past decade, I on the other hand, being a more evolutionarily advanced creature, like to look back at what lessons we have learned.

And wow, have we learned a hell of a lot of lessons.

We have learned...

1. That the "Clash of Civilizations" is really a myth. What we are witnessing is not civilizations clashing, but civilization clashing with pre-medieval barbarism. Civilizations build up, they do not bring down, and there is nothing Al Qaida does other than tear things down.

2. Being wealthy doesn't mean that someone is a free-market capitalist. Look at how Wall Street and the billionaires who loves them, rushed to embrace the economy crippling policies of the Obama Administration. It's not because they love socialism, but because they love their own position at the top of the economic food chain.

They know that they are safe from crushing taxes, cushioned not only by the immensity of their wealth, but by the simple fact that the 1000+ page tax codes passed by their pet politicians, are literally written by their pet lobbyists, to leave loads of loopholes for them to exploit. It's not about bringing up the poor, or bringing down the rich, it's about keeping the middle class from challenging the supremacy of the super-rich. If they really were for the free market, they'd be fighting to simplify and reduce taxes because of the simple reason that it increases revenue, spurs economic growth, and starves that freedom devouring beast called government.

3. There is no such thing as an unbiased media. The mainstream press, from the New York Times, to the major TV networks have completely tossed away any pretension to being unbiased guardians of the truth. From the Great Global Warming Swindle, to the worship of Barack Obama, to the demonization of the previous administration whose sole goal seemed to be keeping the country safe, and whose attempts at bi-partisanship only served to hurt himself. There is literally an entire industry that catalogs their exercises in extreme bias, and they do a much better detailed job than I could ever do.

4. We now know what the Democrats would do once fully in power in both the White House and Congress. They would go completely ape-shit insane from their lust for power.

Look at the mad frenzy to pass society transforming legislation putting unprecedented chunks of the US economy under the control of people who can't even handle the simplest of administrative tasks. Now you're probably wondering why they would want to control so much when they can't really manage it?

It's power.

They want it, and the only way they can get it, is to lie, cheat, steal, and then use that power to make the voters completely dependent on their tax-payer funded largess. Because dependent voters are obedient voters, no matter how miserable those same politicians make their lives.

Just look at Detroit, a city that is literally dead on its feet because of the Democratic Party's "progressive" policies, but the voters there would elect a shaved wombat if they ran it as a Democrat making crazy promises. To Democrats Detroit is the perfect condition they want for the country, a wealthy elite keeping the poor obedient and contained in their state-sponsored ghettos, and the middle class either destroyed, or in exile.

I'll post more of this past decade's lessons until New Year's Eve, so keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

What a long strange trip it's been...

A
MOMENT
OF TRUTH
COMMENTARY
BY
RAJENDRA K.
PACHAURI
(head of the IPCC)

Hello....

Hello...

Could the person who stuck me in this strange metal tube that forces me to tell the truth please open the hatch just a skitch, because my comb-over is caught in it.

>CLICK!<

Thanks.

>CLANK!<

Well, since I'm stuck here until I start dishing out the truth like Grandma's cooking, I might as well start.

Climate change is real.

The climate of the planet Earth is constantly changing. It's been up and down like a whore's drawers, and the all that shit about mankind causing it is just that, shit. It's been warmer, it's been colder, it happens all the time, it hasn't wiped out the world yet, and mankind has nothing to do with it.

Come on, a single volcanic eruption pumps more carbon into the atmosphere than humanity can in decades, and even then it's got nothing on water vapor when it comes to atmospheric content and its effect on the climate, and I haven't even brought up sunspots and cosmic rays and their effect on the weather.

I know, it's confusing to you, and it's confusing to me, remember, I'm not a climatologist, I'm a railway engineer, and a bureaucrat, when it comes to about 90% of what I pronounce upon, I'm just pulling stuff out of my ass.

"But what about the 'Hockey stick' graph?" you may ask.

Well, let me explain the infamous hockey stick graph, what it means, where it came from, and why we push it so hard.

The hockey stick graph is what all us global warm-mongers bring up when we demand that the Western world cripple itself economically and give trillions to dictators, despots, and petty bureaucrats like me.

The graph claims that Earth's temperatures were a constant even line that suddenly shot up in the 20th century because of evil carbon spewing Americans and literally everything about their lives and lifestyles.

Well, to be blunt, it's BULLSHIT.

Yep.

That's right.

Grade A faux-scientific poop.

First, there was how were put it together. The 19th and 20th century temperatures were taken from actually temperature records, even though some of them were a tad iffy, but that's not the iffiest part of this boondoggle. The really iffy stuff comes from that everything before the written temperature records was gleaned from tree ring data. You see, we'd cut an old tree down, and look at the condition of its rings to determine what the weather was like at different years.

Now you're probably thinking that climate scientists studied thousands of trees and millions of rings to make our determination.

Not exactly.

You see, a wide survey of tree ring data showed that carbon output increases actually followed temperature rises, instead of causing them. That's because warmer temps mean longer growing seasons, more life, more carbon being exhaled, which then causes more vegetation, and everything pretty much evens out until the planet enters another natural cooling cycle. Which, I might add, the sort of cooling cycle that we've been in since 1998.

That's not what we wanted.

We wanted something we could point at to justify our bloated salaries and luxurious lifestyles, plus scare people into buying bogus "carbon credits" from our cronies.

So we had to narrow down our sample.

Really narrow it down.

In fact we narrowed it down to a single tree in Siberia.

Yep, I'm talking about one single lone tree.

Sure, it's not scientific, but we're not talking about science here, we're talking about giving me a government funded jets to take me from New York to India, to watch a cricket practice by my favorite team, or to have a conference about the evils of carbon that created more carbon in a little more than two weeks than the entire nation of Morocco in a year.

We're talking about a creating a system that gives us what we want.

Basically what we want is money and power.

The "scientists" get more money by telling us what we want to hear, as well as our backing to suppress and/or slander researchers who don't tow the party line. Completely destroying the scientific process and the value of "peer review" making it more like "fear review." Then we scare politicians into handing over power and money to unelected bureaucrats like myself, to expand our ability to control the very air you breathe, and hopefully eliminate democracy and free markets as well.

So we fudge and fabricate data, and call anyone who challenges us a "climate criminal" a "denier," or if that doesn't work an "asshole." The media goes along with us, because they're owned by big corporations want the elimination of democracy and free markets because they threaten their stranglehold on the public discourse.

That's why in all the coverage of the Copenhagen Summit, hardly anyone in the mainstream media bothered to acknowledge that it was the bigger collection of crooks and scammers since the Appalachin Meeting, but with less integrity.

At least the mafioso meeting at Appalachin never claimed to have a monopoly on morality like we do.

We're sort of like James Cameron, the man who spends $500 million of a major multinational corporation's money to develop advanced technology to make a film whose sole purpose is to decry money, corporations, and technology. The combination of extreme luxury, and ass kissing is a very heady mix that makes you unable to see your own hypocrisy, because your eyes are wedged too deep within your own colon.

Anyway, sure the agreement was non-binding, and more aspirational than active, but that doesn't bother me. I'm still getting paid the big bucks, and so are my buddies, and in the end, that's all that matters.

The Mainstream Media Youth Roundtable

LARRY KING- Hello, I'm Larry King, and welcome to the Mainstream Media Youth Roundtable, where the coverage of the days events will not only be hep, but happening. I will be your moderator, and I have two very special guests with me, to bring a youthful perspective on the mainstream media. Joining me is... who are you again?
HELEN THOMAS- I'm Helen Thomas!

LARRY KING- Oh right, that night in Tijuana.

HELEN THOMAS- Please Larry, not here.

LARRY KING- Who is the other guy?
ANDY ROONEY- I'm Andy Rooney! You know what I don't like? Banana peels. I once slipped on one, and not only was it not funny, I broke my hip.

LARRY KING- They've got these people on Al Gore's interweb who "bloog" and these "bloogers" are saying that the media, meaning hip young people like us, are out of touch. What do you think?

HELEN THOMAS- Those bloogers are worse than Hitler. They cause all wars, death, and poverty with their mad tea-bagging parties where they burn crosses and dance on the bodies of murdered Iraqi babies and cancer patients. They are almost as bad as Hadassah Lieberman!

LARRY KING- Andy?

ANDY ROONEY- You know what I really hate? When I'm at the massage parlour and the girl wants an extra $20 for the "happy ending." I'm lying there, naked as the day I was born, asking: "What the hell? Did they raise the price of rice in Cambodia or something?"

LARRY KING- Good point Andy. But these bloogers are saying that we don't report the real news, and are instead just mouthpieces for the Democratic Party and other fashionable left-wing causes.

HELEN THOMAS- Look, sure we may have covered up Obama's connections to radicals, racists and reprobates in order to get him elected, his lack of experience, his shockingly thin resume, and his connections to ACORN a group that would gladly help smuggle underage girls for the purposes of prostitution, but it was all for a good cause, getting Obama elected.

LARRY KING- Let's not forget covering up Climategate. I mean it's the biggest scandal to hit science since the invention of science, and we won't dare say boo about it, except to somehow find a way to blame it all on Bush.

HELEN THOMAS- It is Bush's fault! Everything is Bush's fault! The man eats the skin of children left homeless by his policy of firebombing American cities!

LARRY KING- Andy, what do you think about our tendency to cover up things that do not fit our ideological bias?

ANDY ROONEY- You know what I really hate? When I'm burying a hobo that I just killed in my backyard, and the bastard starts moaning. I mean what the hell is going on here? I stabbed him seven times. Then I have to beat his head in with the shovel to make sure he stays dead. It's very messy, and it dented my shovel.

LARRY KING- Good point Andy. So there you have it America, the mainstream media isn't out of touch, you are.

The People Do Speak.... Through Me!

Hello fellow soldiers in the struggle against the fascist evil state known as America! It's me Howard Zinn, the only man who knows the truth about history!

Plus, I know Matt Damon. Doesn't that make me the coolest guy who has ever lived?

Anyway my pal, Matt Damon, has used his celebrity to get the History Channel to broadcast a TV show based on my work exposing the festering shithole otherwise known as the United Fascist States of AmeriKKKa. They're also using it in schools, so a whole generation of children can understand that WW2 was unnecessary because all Hitler wanted was socialism in Europe, and is that so bad?

Now you're probably wondering why a major cable channel would air a "documentary" that basically condemns the most successful democracy in the history of humanity.

Because of my pal, Matt Damon.

He's a movie star, and TV execs love to associate with movie stars. Hell they'd buy film of grass growing if some over-hyped celebrity like Julia Roberts would narrate it.

Well, at least I am seeing my dream coming to fruition. America now has a President that's weaker than a gimpy wimp, this same president is gladly signing away the country's sovereignty to massive global bureaucracies in the name of things that don't even exist, like Man Made Climate Change. He's crippling the economy, neutering the military, giving corrupt trade unions unimaginable power, and making everyone in America dependent on the state for everything from mortgages to medical care.

It's enough to make me weep with joy.

As long as he doesn't raise my taxes.

Then I'll have to stash my cash overseas like a common Kennedy.

Anyway.

I know Matt Damon.

Al Gore: Poet

Greetings puny Earthlings....

I guess you've heard that Al Gore has now become a poet, regurgitating rhymes to teach you wretched Earthlings about the doom of climate change.

Fool.

The only doom you have to worry about is the one I decide to dish out on you, but that's for another day. Anyway, we've decided to tackle poetry with poetry and come up with our own verses....

There once was a hack from East Anglia
Whose data was upsetting his ganglia
To make the money flow better
The data went to the shredder
And his ethics got all mangle-ia


Obama went off to Copenhagen
To hand out the climate change bacon
Cap and trade is a curse
That'll make the economy worse
And 2012 will soon be forsaken


Ed Begley gave the fakers a pass
Because they got the vote of their class
They'll rubber stamp a review
For whatever peers spew
And poor Ed's got his head up his ass

What do you think?

Do you have your own. Please submit them in the comments, and the best one will win a special prize, mention in this blog, and THEY WON'T BE ENSLAVED!!

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

THIS IS PLANETARY JEOPARDY!!

ALEX TREBEK Welcome to a very special global warming edition of Jeopardy. Joining me today are some of the loudest voices in the field of the planet's impending doom. First up is NASA's James Hansen.



JAMES HANSEN I am being silenced! I am being oppressed! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

ALEX TREBEK That's great James. And next up is a man who needs no introduction because we're all pretty sick of looking at him, former Vice President Al Gore.

AL GORE The world will be destroyed in less than seven days unless I am given one billion dollars to save it.

ALEX TREBEK And our last contestant is someone who is unique among actor/activists in that he actually lives by what he preaches, Ed Begley jr.


ED BEGLEY JR. I hope my buzzer is solar powered!

ALEX TREBEK Let's look at the categories. We have:

HYPOCRISY

LYING & CHEATING

PROFITEERING

&

MAN-BEAR-PIG

Hansen, you're first up.

JAMES HANSEN I'll take profiteering for $100.

ALEX TREBEK This former politician left office worth $2 million and is now worth $100 million and it's all because of Global Warming.

BUZZ!

ALEX TREBEK Al Gore.

AL GORE Who is me, Al Gore, the man who was supposed to be your President.

ALEX TREBEK Correct. You choose the next category.

AL GORE I'll take Man-Bear-Pig for $100 and I'm really being serial about it!

ALEX TREBEK During the 1970s everyone was expecting this to destroy the world.

BUZZ!

ALEX TREBEK Ed Begley Jr.

ED BEGLEY JR. What is an ice age?

ALEX TREBEK Correct. You get to pick the next category.

ED BEGLEY JR. I'll take lying and cheating for $100.

ALEX TREBEK This scientist claimed to have been silenced over global warming, when he never actually shut up.

BUZZ!

JAMES HANSEN ~Ooh! ~Ooh! I know it. Who is James Hansen of NASA?

ALEX TREBEK Correct.

JAMES HANSEN Damn right!

ALEX TREBEK Next category.

JAMES HANSEN I'll take lying and cheating for $200.

ALEX TREBEK This organisation just happened to delete all their raw climate data before they could be reviewed.

BUZZ!

ED BEGLEY JR. The CIA!

ALEX TREBEK Sorry, that's incorrect. Anyone? No. That was the Climate Research Unit of East Anglia University. Hansen, you still have control of the board.

JAMES HANSEN I'll take hypocrisy for $500.

ALEX TREBEK The Copenhagen Conference is predicted to produce as much carbon as this did in 2006.

BUZZ!

JAMES HANSEN What is Morocco?

ALEX TREBEK Correct. Although the judges would also accept "Al Gore's Media Room." Next category.

JAMES HANSEN I'll take Man-Bear-Pig for $300.

ALEX TREBEK This is what global warming alarmists really want when they make predictions of imminent doom.

BUZZ!

AL GORE What is money and power?

ALEX TREBEK Correct.

AL GORE And I'd like to say that if I don't get a trillion dollars in the next twelve hours a massive tidal wave will sweep through the Eastern Seaboard, and the people in the midwest will feast upon the corpses, because they will have no other source of food.

ALEX TREBEK Your pick.

AL GORE I'll take Man-Bear-Pig for $1000.

ALEX TREBEK These people have been called "Holocaust deniers," "climate criminals," "big oil toadies," "flat earthers," and "assholes."

BUZZ!

ED BEGLEY JR. Anyone who doesn't accept that the science is settled. Even though there are over 30,000 scientists who disagree, and that those who advocate man-made global warming engage in cover-ups, slander campaigns, and destruction of scientific evidence, the science is settled. It really, it's been peer reviewed by people willing to sacrifice their integrity for grant money and political power...political...power

ED BEGLEY JR. FAINTS.

ALEX TREBEK Correct. And that's all the time we have for now, because I'm getting kind of sick of it, so until next time, goodbye.

AL GORE If I don't get 100 trillion dollars in the next five minutes dinosaurs will come back from the dead and feast upon the innocent. Give me money or you're doomed!

JAMES HANSEN Stop talking! You're silencing me! You are silencing me!!!

Reality Check: Trivialities...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Right now things are happening all over your planet that are pretty damn important. I'm talking about things like:

1. President Obama's rather weak-kneed speech where he announced a new surge in Afghanistan, but not to win, just to hold out for 18 months before he hands over the country to the dark ages.

2. The Obama Administration's rather weak and indecisive relationship with India, who just happens to be the world's most populous democracy, an emerging economic powerhouse, and possibly America's best ally in Asia.

3. The Climategate scandal exposes a massive conspiracy among so-called scientists to perpetuate doomsday scenarios in concert with governments and corporations to leech money and power while whittling away your liberty.

4. The economy is in the toilet, and all the Obama Administration can do about it is piss away billions on non-existent jobs in non-existent congressional districts, and hold meetings with academics and big money lobbyists while ignoring the small businesspeople who actually create wealth and jobs.

So what is the mainstream media covering?

1. Tiger Woods and his crashed car. I don't care if he was scoring whores with both hands, and I don't care if his wife beat the living snot out of him with a nine iron, that's their damn business, not ours.

2. The fame-whoring party crashers who intruded on the state dinner with India's President, who probably got in because of a mix of incompetence on the part of the Social Secretary, whose office is now more secret than the CIA, whose operations will now be aired out in open court, and that the Secret Service didn't want to be accused of being racist for turning away a man with a Middle Eastern sounding name.

I mean this is a complete scandal all on its own.

And the mainstream media wonders why no one watches their shows, reads their papers, or visits their websites in anywhere near the numbers that visit the "alternative media" of Fox, blogs, and other news web sites.

They don't see that people watch news for news. They want the full story, and they don't want people willfully ignoring stories that don't conform to their personal beliefs/prejudices.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.