SPECTER DEFECTOR

A SPECIAL
MOMENT OF TRUTH
COMMENTARY
BY
SENATOR
ARLEN
SPECTER
(R D-PENN)

Hi, everybody.

I'm sure you're all wondering exactly why I defected from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party, and why I didn't do it 20 years ago.

Well the answer is simple.

I'm trying to save my own ass.

I've been so wishy washy that I was set to get my ass tossed out in the party, and since I don't trust primary voters exercising their democratic rights, I jumped ship like the rat that I am.

Plus, I can see which way the wind is blowing. James Carville's bragging about the Dems ruling the country for the next 40 years, and he's right. Because when you combine handing over control over the census, and hence voter rolls, to minions of ACORN, with criminalizing political differences with special prosecutors, so-called "truth commissions," and Napolitano's upcoming veteran hunts, there won't be any Republicans allowed to run for congress in 2010, let alone President in 2012.

I'm 79 years old, I'm too old to have to find a real job, so I switched sides.

It's not like the voters will turn against me, those chowderheads just look for whatever name on the ballot sounds the most familiar, and check that box. Why do you think John Murtha's still in congress?

Anyway, this defection's been a long-time coming, because there isn't a better home for spineless opportunists like me, than in the Democratic Party.

Now can you let me out of this tube?

SPECIAL BULLETIN! SPECIAL BULLETIN!

FROM THE DESK OF
JANET NAPOLITANO
DIRECTOR OF HOMELAND SECURITY

I've been asked to calm your fears that the Obama administration is a bunch of fumbling, know-nothing amateur nitwits, especially in areas of foreign policy, and homeland security.

Well that is not the case. We are on top of everything, so I will break down exactly how I am personally saving your ungrateful tea-bagging worthless flyover-country lives.

1. TERRORISM: We are eliminating terrorism by allowing the people that support them to bask in the glory of our lord god Obama while he apologizes to them for our existence. Once they have experienced the wonder that is Barack Obama, they will come to love him in the way Chris Matthews loves him, but less creepy. I am sure this will work, because I am an expert in history and know for a fact that America has never been attacked by foreigners.

Though there are still many domestic threats to the Democratic Party the nation, so I have ordered that the following people be rounded up into concentration camps to ensure the security of the nation:

-Veterans.
-Tea Party Attendees
-Republicans
-Miss California
-Gun Owners
-Christians
-Libertarians
-Supporters of Israel

2. SWINE FLU: Using my immense knowledge of geography, I have determined that the best way to handle this outbreak of swine flu is to seal off the border with Canada, and open the border to Mexico wide open. I am also ordering the arrest of Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio for actually enforcing the laws I'm supposed to enforce, and making me look bad. I am also launching federal investigations of those who want America's immigration laws enforced, because it was their racism that no doubt caused this outbreak.

3. ECONOMIC SECURITY: We believe that economic security can only be achieved by giving trillions of taxpayer dollars away to the people who pissed away trillions during the 90's and 2000's. It will be the only way to ensure that these wealthy Wall Street people can still give our party millions for the next election.

I hope this assuages your fears and convinces you to vote Democrat in the 2010 midterms. But even if it doesn't, you won't have much of a choice, because everyone else will be locked up and extradited to Iran and Syria to stand trial for torture.

Aren't you glad the Bush reign of terror is finally over.

The Leftist Mind: What Did They Know, & When Did They Know It...

Greetings puny Earthlings, time for a look into the Leftist Mind!!

Recently House Speaker Nancy Pelosi declared that she had no idea water-boarding was done, even though the records show that she did, and didn't object to it. Now other than just being a Democrat, one must wonder why she lied?

Well the answer is simple.

She did it because she is a leftist, and is plotting to make America a one party state.

You see the leftist cannot accept opposition of any kind, and must crush that opposition at all costs. First they marginalize, like calling tea-party-goers "racist," deriding them as "primitive," "mentally unstable," and "ignorant." Then the marginalization goes even further with comparisons to terrorists, (Napolitano anyone?) and then wrap it all up with criminalization.

The problem is that the only thing they might use to criminalize the opposition is the so-called "torture" narrative, and they supported water-boarding, which was derived from US military training, as the lesser of two evils for a planet without telepathic data extraction technology.

Now that they're in power, they need to make it torture in order to criminalize the opposition, so they have to lie, loud and often, to hide their hand in it.

Plus it allows them to use their pets in the media to hide all the other programs that whittle down your freedoms. Remember, the Leftist only cares about their own personal power, and will use any issue, any method to get it, and keep it, while crushing all who dare question them.

Why do you think they're leaking memos about water-boarding and other interrogation techniques, but withholding the documents revealing the intelligence they uncovered?

Random Reality Checks....

Greetings puny Earthlings. It's time for a few of my patented reality checks.

1. Perez Hilton is on a one man crusade against Miss California USA for having the same opinion of gay marriage as President Barack Obama. Which raises three questions that I think I have the answer for:

QUESTION A: For Perez Hilton, if that is your real name-- What would be your reaction if the Christian Churches tried to pass laws to force gays to marry each other?

ANSWER A: Naturally he'd freak out, screaming about violations of rights, and the freedom of choice, and he'd be right. Now no one is trying to take away any rights same-sex partners have to all the rights and benefits of couples, common law takes care of that, but the demand for control of the word "marriage" is simply a ploy by the radical fringe to eventually use the power of the state to force churches to perform ceremonies they believe violate their religious beliefs. Thus shredding the one of the core principles of not only the US constitution, but the key liberties of the Known Universe.

Remember, Connecticut is currently trying to take away the power to appoint bishops away from the Catholic Church and give it to a state-appointed board of political hacks. You don't think they're operating from the same mindset of the gay marriage activists, hoping to put spirituality under state control?

QUESTION B: For the Miss USA organizers-- Why did you appoint a blogger most famous for putting crudely drawn genitalia on pictures of celebrities next to gossip items that most supermarket tabloids wouldn't see fit to print as a judge for a beauty pageant?

ANSWER B: Because they didn't want crudely drawn genitalia pasted onto pictures of pageant organizers and hosts.

QUESTION C: For Perez Hilton-- Why does having the same opinion on a topic as Barack Obama, a candidate you endorsed, make Miss California Evil, and Obama the font of all good?

ANSWER C: Because being called a racist by Keith Olbermann or any of the other pet poodles of the administration will not get you a spot as a judge on a beauty pageant, or invited to any of the parties he writes about on his blog.

At least we can take comfort that getting asked to judge a beauty pageant officially puts Perez Hilton at fourteen minutes, fifty-nine seconds in the old Warholian Fame Clock.

2. Sometimes I hate being right all the time. It looks like Obama, in keeping with his tradition of spinelessness has opened the door to prosecuting Bush administration officials over the so-called "torture memos."

I knew this would happen. The Tea Parties revealed serious grass-roots opposition to his corporatist-socialist policies, his lily-livered foreign policy of treating enemies like allies, and allies like enemies, have accomplished nothing but a few photo-ops, and people are starting to notice that he is an empty suit.

He has no choice but to start prosecuting people in the Bush Administration. He needs to both mollify his supporters, who are upset by Obama inheriting the victory in Iraq, and to distract the general public from the fact that he's managed to wedge his head up his own ass when it comes to securing the country in the time of an "overseas contingency operation" from "person-caused disasters." Because the moment that inevitable mass terrorist attack occurs, people will be calling for his impeachment, he needs to have the Bush Administration on trial for "war crimes" so he can point and say: "Hey, don't blame me, the main reason Manhattan's a radioactive crater is because Bush had Khalid Sheikh Mohammed water-boarded!"

It will also help to silence opposition, because they'll know that Napolitano is not above using the power of the Homeland Security apparatus to use against those who dissent from Obama's new American order. Opposition will be criminalized, and no doubt arrests will be coming.

Well, I do have to give him credit, he works fast.

3. Today is Earth Day, meaning the airwaves will be full of all sorts of global warming horseshit.

Before you attend the latest rally to ban Dihydrogen Monoxide, please check out this article about those who tell you to do as they say, but not as they do.

And BTW-- How did Al Gore's power use go up another 10%, the equivalent of 232 average homes, if he put in all these power saving measures? What the hell is he doing there?

Anyway, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

You Racist Tea-Bagging Scumbags!

A
SPECIAL
GUEST
BLOG
BY
JANEANE
GAROFALO
(Folks say she used to be a comedian or something like that)

This past week saw the rise of a vile and digusting display of overt racism by vile and disgusting American racists who don't want to happily hand over their money, property, and control over their own lives to a black man simply because of his race!

I'm talking about those Fox-news fascist tea-bagging parties, the 21st Century's answer to KKK cross burnings! I know why Napolitano has put these people under federal surveillance! If anyone deserves to have their constitutional rights trampled on, it's these people.

Only racism can compel these scumbag KKKhristianazis to want to keep their own money and control their own lives.

Why would you want to have money and control your own life when the government can do it so much better than you?

Look at me. During the 1990s I actually had a career, I starred in movies, I was considered as hip as Dennis Rodman. Now I'm lucky if I get a supporting role on a TV series as stunt casting. Sure, I lost my looks, my ability to tell a joke, and any cachet I had with the audience, but this wouldn't have happened if popular tastes were controlled by government fiat and not by "free-market" forces that mean entertainers have to be actually entertaining to have a career.

Which is why I'm telling all you racist tea-baggers that it is racist of you to defy the wishes of a President with a questionable past, even more questionable friends, and really questionable judgment. Because he's African-American, and any acknowledgement that he is an actual human being and somehow less than god-like and perfect in all things is RACIST!!

Sure, your money is being taken away from you by the government, and your children, and children's children, will be in debt to the Chinese Communist Party in perpetuity, and this cash is being given to corporations, banks, and hedge funds to repay the trillions they pissed away, but not wanting that to happen means your are worse than Hitler.

So give up your free will and submit to the dictates of your intellectual and moral betters, it may make your life worse, but it is in a good cause. I know it's a good cause, because Obama told me so.

PS: Ben Stiller, call me, I'm on food stamps!

EXCLUSIVE! NAPOLITANO'S DIRTY DOZEN!!!

The following document is the first draft of the memo released by Janet Napolitano, the Director of Homeland Security, to law enforcement agencies across the United States.

FROM THE DESK OF JANET NAPOLITANO
Director of Homeland Security

WARNING!!!

The following groups and people (in no particular order) are deemed to be threats to The Democratic Party Homeland Security.

1. US Veterans of Iraq & Afghanistan- They have been trained to kill indiscriminately and for a fascist state that lies in order to start wars to steal oil from poor innocent people like Saddam Hussein. Expect daily outbreaks of mass slaughter committed by roving bands of these heavily armed psychopaths.

2. The American Legion- This is an unabashed hate group populated by people who are actually proud of killing hundreds of thousands of Germans, Japanese, North Koreans, Chinese, and Vietnamese. Do not let their elderly appearance fool you, they are assumed to be armed, dangerous, and grouchy when you interrupt their afternoon nap.

3. The Shriners- Those little cars they drive around at parades may contain small amounts of explosives.

4. Catholics- The bizarre rituals of this cult involve eating the flesh and blood of the cult's founder. Expect outbreaks of cannibalism at any moment.

5. Libertarians- People following this twisted ideology wish to have a minimum of government involvement in their lives. Obviously the foundation of some sort of fascistic dictatorship.

6. Taxpayers- For some reason they don't want to pay more in taxes. Obviously suffer from some sort of mental deviance.

7. Orthodox Jews- They're hiding something in those beards. I just know it!

8. Wile E. Coyote- He has a seemingly endless supply of anvils, weapons, and various products made by the ACME company. Needs to have his financial records investigated.

9. Janet Napolitano- Her obsession with putting people under police surveillance for blatantly political reasons is an obvious threat to the constitution and freedom of speech.

9. Karl Rove- There has to be something we can use to lock him up. FIND IT!

10. Free Market Economists- Their ideas of personal freedom and small government threatens the development of our one party state.

11. Small Businesspeople- They don't like being singled out as "fat cats" while billionaire party backers squirm out of paying their taxes. They must be taught a lesson.

12. The State of Texas- It's up to something. I can smell it.

YOU HAVE QUESTIONS: WE HAVE ANSWERS!

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings. You had questions, and the entire Moxargon group is here to answer them. Joining me are Xran the Fleshrender, Android Cai/7, Tektak F. Mechanoid, Snotglob T. Mutant, Varos Quasar, and token Earthling Vox Poplar. Let's get right to our first question.

BigJQ said... This is a question about the current economy... what do you think is going to happen in the next few months with the stock market I have a few thousand shares I been hanging on to and it has since went up 1 dollar in the last week and I made some money but just would like to know if it is expected to go up where I can hold on to it. thanks for you time

MOXARGON- Android CAI/7 you're a bit of a financial wonk, what do you think?

ANDROID CAI/7- The fundamental rule of markets is that they will go up, they will go down, and recessions will end, barring some sort of government contrived crisis. So the logical course of action is to look at your personal financial situation and whether that modest profit is needed, or if you can afford to wait a little while until things improve overall.

MOXARGON- Logical as always. Our next question...

KurtP said... I'm watching re-runs of TORCHWOOD right now. How much do you have to do with it, and- more importantly- when can we see more of Gwen Cooper?

MOXARGON- Well, I don't really have anything to do with Torchwood. I haven't had any real business in television since the disastrous variety show "Pink Lady & Remulak" in the 1970s.

MOXARGON- The less said about that the better. Though I do believe Tektak knew Torchwood creator Russell Davies back in the day.

TEKTAK- Back when I was a child actor on my home planet, he was a production assistant on the set of Family Units. But I am afraid that we haven't spoken in a long time, I had him fired when he put mayonnaise on my sandwich, so I can't answer that question. Though it is a good excuse to post a picture of the lovely Eve Myles and that strangely sexy gap between her two front teeth.

MOXARGON- Next question.

Anonymous said... What diseases actually have cures for them that are not being released due to profitability of treatment, versus profitability of curing?

VAROS- I can answer that question. All diseases can be cured by daily bathing in patchouli oil, which is something THE MAN doesn't want you to know! Plus, 9-11 was an inside job, fire does not melt steel!!!

ZAP!

MOXARGON- Sorry about that. He gets excited easily, and needs the occasional dose of medication, in the form of a stun blast, to keep himself under control. Next question.

Blackhawk12151 said... With the energy problems that we humans are currently facing I've been wondering how the rest of the Universe gets around. What resources does the Great MoxArgon use as to power his mighty warships? And when you inevitably enslave our weak race to what uses will you put the resources that we have been using?

XRAN- I can answer that. We use tr-cyclic fusion reactors fueled by hydrogen that's processed from biological waste products, basically: shit. That costs us about a penny a gallon in US dollars.

MOXARGON- And as for my plans for your planet's resources... well, I can't ruin the big surprise now, can I? Next question:

Cmcnail said... This one has puzzled me for years... How come hot dog buns come in packs of 12 but hot dogs only come in packs of eight

SNOTGLOB- Oooh! I can answer that. It's because hot dogs are divided by weight, and a pound is best divisible by 8, while buns, being baked goods are best divisible by 12.

TEKTAK- Wow Snotglob, you managed to answer a question without being an ignorant hermaphrodite slut.

SNOTGLOB- And it's all Bush's fault.

TEKTAK- That's the Snotglob I know.

MOXARGON- Next question.

Bain said... How does the American Goverment plan to get us out of debt by borrowing money and putting us further in debt by spending more than anyone, EVER. I am sure you have to spend a lot Ruling the Universe... but does it come this close?

MOXARGON- I can answer this one directly. The Obama administration has no plan to get you out of debt. Their only plan is to spend trillions on their friends and pet projects, while making the general public completely dependent on the state. As far as ruling the Known Universe, we actually run a budget surplus. But we have a reasonable and simple tax-code, and sensible spending policies. We can even afford state-funded health care, thanks to our legions of android doctors, who are effective, though they lack the bedside manner of organic, privately funded medicos. Next question:

Chris in NC said... Following up on Kurtp, with the Eve Myles pics, can you toss up a couple more Billie Pipers? You're such a generous overlord when it comes to that.

MOXARGON- What kind of a site do you think this is? Some cheap, cheesy, cheesecake site? Well we are.

MOXARGON- And another question from Chris in NC....

Also, I was wondering what Barack Obama gave to you and what you exchanged back to him?

MOXARGON- That's an easy question. He gave me slipper-socks. Size small, slipper-socks. I mean, what the hell, size small wouldn't even cover my big toe! Anyway, I gave him the energy crystal of Thallusia Planetia. It helps hide his rapidly greying hair.

Blackhawk12151 said... I have another question: I am only a lowly human, but I consider myself pretty smart. Is there a way I can apply for a position in your Empire once your takeover is finally complete?

MOXARGON- My employment office did get your application. I have to say that they never encountered anyone so eager to work in the anal probe testing division before. We will get back to you. So to speak. Next question:

Noseinit said... How's that "Hope & Change" thing working out for you?

XRAN- I can answer that question. Let's just say that I hope things will change.

MOXARGON- That was lame. Next question:

Anonymous said... I need to know how to sell all my cool skits to either Comedy Central or Saturday Night Live...I am the balls with writing, but am lost when it comes to selling...Any help to make me rich would be appreciated...

TEKTAK- I can answer that question. Rewrite them so that they are all about George W. Bush, and be sure to include the times Jon Stewart's supposed to arch an eyebrow in a sarcastic manner. Because someone has to tell him when to do that. Never write anything about Barack Obama, and wrap it all up with you publicly offering to sexually service Lorne Michaels. While it won't get you a job, the sight of you getting tossed on your ass by security will be entertaining in itself.

MOXARGON- Next question:

Dumb Information said... I have a question that has been burning a hole in my brain since inception...If I cloned myself, then had sex with my clone, would it be homosexuality or masterbation? Or, better yet, how screwed up am I in the head to even think such a thought?

ANDROID CAI/7- Logically speaking that would be rape, because not even your clone would willingly have sex with you.

VOX POPLAR- And you are really screwed up for thinking about that.

MOXARGON- Next question:

Dumb Information said... I have a forum, and keep getting pounded by crap ads faster then loosing breakfast after seeing Pelosi naked...Is there anyway I can get rid of that crap?

MOXARGON- When I get spammers I simply teleport them to the planet Ovrax, where I hunt them for sport. Though I think you should probably get someone who knows something about web and forum management to give you some advice. Next question:

Dumb Information said... Do you want to join us at Dumb Information Nation?

MOXARGON- We don't join nations, we conquer them.

Dumb Information said... I have so many questions...In the war of the worlds, whose side would you choose?

XRAN- That's from a work of fiction, Martians don't exist, and we all know why.

MOXARGON- They pissed me off. So the question is moot. Next question:

Porkchop said... Do you think these 15 April "Tea Parties" will do any good? What do you think the outcome will be?

MOXARGON- Let's have Vox Poplar answer this one...

VOX POPLAR- Thanks. While the mainstream media will either ignore them, or center their coverage on the nuttiest fringe of the participants, they could lay the foundation for a movement that could get the Republicans back in charge of congress in 2010. That's unless the Republican leadership completely screws up and just runs the same-old-same-old yahoos. Which they still might.

Porkchop said... What do you think about PETA? What do you think about the death threats Joe Biden and the dog breeder he bought the dog from are getting?

MOXARGON- The first thing you must know about PETA is that they are not really pro-animal. They are fundamentally anti-human. So it's only a matter of time before someone, hopped up on their wacky beliefs, does something completely nutty. Just be ready to duck when it happens, and have some ribs on the grill outside their jail cells afterwards.

Porkchop said... What do you think about our second amendment? Do you think the recent shootings around america will allow the gun hating democrats to come closer to destroying the second amendment and everything america was founded on? i have heard that the democrats are the masterminds behind these shootings, can you let us know the truth?

MOXARGON- The Democrats aren't behind the shootings. Being a crack-pot douchebag is the reason behind all mass shootings. Now this doesn't mean that the Democrats will try to exploit them to ram home gun control laws that will ensure that only gangsters will have guns, because gangsters vote Democrat. I allow people to own as many guns as they like. Not like they can stop me anyway, but it does keep the crime down. Well, I think that was our biggest Q&A session ever, and I'm exhausted. So, until next time, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

A Few Reality Checks...

Greetings puny Earthlings, time for a few reality checks.

1. A couple of commenters said that I was wrong in my analysis of the Saudi King's need for bowing. Citing their own experiences with the Saudi Royal Family and their informality, and that bowing is not necessary, etc... etc...

But I think their comments said more than they intended.

Neither of them were the President of the United States at the time.

Remember, the Saudi Royal family's key to power is to declare the supremacy of their brand of Wahabi Islam, and nothing declares that supremacy than having the leader of the free world bow before the leader of a country that would be have nothing if it weren't for the oil in the ground. In the minds of Wahabi fundamentalist there is no other reason Obama would have for bowing than the spiritual and moral supremacy of a nation whose religious police forced schoolgirls back into a burning building because they weren't veiled properly?

It was a damn disgusting display. I would never advise rudeness, but there are limits when you're a head of powerful state dealing with the head of a lesser state.

2. Somali pirates attacked an American ship, ironically carrying food aid for Somalis, and kidnapped the Captain. Right now you're hard pressed to get any substantial response from the US government other than the usual diplomatic boilerplate, while Hillary goes on a quest for moderate pirates to negotiate with.

Well this can't go on. Paying pirates off only makes them bolder, and I think a little story from my own personal experience can offer some lessons about this situation.

There was a planet on a remote corner of a sparsely populated galaxy called Ovoyar. It was a poor planet due to centuries of civil war between petty warlords who fought only to loot enough resources to sell for more weapons so they could fight to get more loot to get more weapons... well you know where that's going.

My hordes subjugated that planet pretty quickly, and since I find poverty a personal insult to my abilities as a ruler I immediately ordered a massive reconstruction project to get a self-supporting economy going. The people of Ovoyar reacted by attacking the aid workers I sent to help them, stealing the food and medicine I was trying to give away to them, and selling it in order to prop up a new crop of petty warlords, who promised nothing but to restart the cycle of wars that put them in the mess they were in.

At first I listened to my gentler advisors, and tried to bribe them into stopping their attacks and settling down as law abiding citizens under an amnesty. They responded by taking the money, continuing the attacks, and jacking up their price.

I had no choice because they had made their choice. They chose to go beyond mere criminality, to becoming active enemies of civilization itself, and the accepted moral codes of the Known Universe. That cannot be tolerated, for it will become a cancer that could infect the quadrant, then the galaxy, then the Known Universe. So I flattened the pirate bases and the cities that were built around them, destroyed all their ships, and sealed off the planet to any trade or traffic of any kind. They chose to fight for lawlessness, hunger, and despair, so I gave it to them, with bells on. If they want it to end, all they have to is use the ansible devices I planted all over their world to offer their acceptance of a civilization under the rule of law. So far, no takers.

Now some of you may accuse me of hypocrisy because my friend Xran is a space pirate, and while he is a criminal, and I never let him near the good silverware, he has never tried to plunge a planet into famine and despair to feed his personal ego. Plus, under the terms of his parole, he can only target the ships of those who make themselves enemies of civilization, like anyone trying to smuggle anything in or out of Ovoyar, or those damn Daleks, or the ships of my evil twin Hemulak* Dark Lord of the Q-Dimension.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

___________________

Gotta question that only the greatest minds in the Known Universe can answer, then visit here and leave it in the comments by Sunday night. We'll be answering them on Monday, April 13.

________________

*Technically, Hemulak is an alternate universe version of me, and yes he is considered the "evil twin" so stop snickering.

BOW DOWN PUNY EARTHLINGS!!!

Well, President Obama promised hope and change, and now we're seeing that he's changed into Jimmy Carter which pretty much destroys all your hope.

But onto today's topic...

Many are criticizing President Obama for bowing before the King of Saudi Arabia. Chief among those critics is the Saudi king himself, who said he was facing the wrong way when he bent over.

But seriously folks... let's take a look at what that bow means:

1. OBAMA DOESN'T REALIZE THAT HE'S NOW A HEAD OF STATE: Maybe it's the fact that he hasn't stopped campaigning since the November election, but he doesn't know that his office carries a certain level of dignity. I'm not saying that he should be rude to the Saudis (no matter how much they deserve it) but he shouldn't come across as a supplicant.

2. THE SAUDI MONARCHY DOUBTS THEIR OWN LEGITIMACY: Think about it, Queen Elizabeth is a royal head of state, but other heads of state don't have to bow before her. There are protocols to be followed, not that anyone is telling Obama what those are, but you don't have to bow.

The House of Saud demands that everyone, even other heads of state must bow in their presence. Why? Because they have oil, and are not afraid to use it to inflate their own standing, is one reason, but another reason is a sheer lack of confidence on their part.

They're like the movie star who constantly makes crazy demands not for any particular benefit, but solely to tell everyone of their own importance. And the person they're declaring their importance to the most are themselves. This is because unlike the British Monarchy the House of Saud are relatively thin in the history department, and even thinner in the achievement department. Even with the immense wealth from oil, all they've succeeded in doing is build monuments to themselves, fund terrorism, and have an increasingly unhappy population who see an army of princes living large while they're unemployed, and foreigners build and run their oil infrastructure.

They desperately need someone to pay some sort of obeisance to them, to justify their existence, and there's nothing Obama loves to do more than justify the existence of tyrants.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

GOTTA QUESTION
CLICK HERE AND LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS

Ask The MoxArgon Group...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

It's been a while since we've asked you to ask us, so here we go again.

If you have a question about Earthling politics, economics, or just plain life in general that can only be answered by the most brilliant minds in the universe, then drop it off in the comments by next Sunday, and we'll post the answers on Monday April 13.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you, and we have all the answers.

On Gifts, Gaffes & Goofs

Greetings puny Earthlings, Remulak MoxArgon here and I'm going to take a moment to talk to you about gifts, and when you're a political leader, how they can be used against you.

Much has been made about President Obama's return of the bust of Winston Churchill to Britain, the wrong format DVD pack he gave to UK PM Gordon Brown, and the uber-lame gift of an iPod (containing his own speeches) to Queen Elisabeth.

Now I know that heads of government and heads of state are hard to shop for. They literally are the people who have everything, but that's why government's have special offices of protocol that do nothing but handle such things.

But get this Obama's administration not only hasn't filled vacancies in the White House protocol office, they DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THE STATE DEPARTMENT HAD A PROTOCOL OFFICE.

Yep. Not only is Barack Obama ignorant of the workings of the government he is supposed to head, he's also put himself in a position where he can be taken down by his own people.

Now you're probably wondering why I said that, well the answer is simple.

Think for a moment about who is the Secretary of State.

Who is supposed to know about the protocol office, because it's their job to know such things?

Who should also at least know about the protocol office's existence because she was first lady for 8 years?

That's right...

HILLARY CLINTON

I know the old maxim about keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer, but you don't give them a sharp knife and tell them to watch your back.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you, and Barack, you better start watching Hillary.