InterGalactic Roundtable 2.12: 2007 In Review

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings and welcome to our special New Year's Eve edition of the Moxargon Group. We're going to take a look back at 2007, and take a look forward to 2008. We're all here today at my space-station penthouse. There's Xran the Fleshrender.

XRAN- Howdy.

MOXARGON- Android CAI/7, Varos Quasar, and joining us from Point/Counterpoint Tektak F. Mechanoid, Snotglob T. Mutant, and our token Earthling correspondent Vox Poplar.

VOX POPLAR- Yer not de boss a'me... yoush bashtard....

MOXARGON- Someone's started early on the Targellian Rum.

VOX POPLAR- Whatchoo lookin' at?

MOXARGON- Okay let's take a look back. What was the biggest lesson learned in 2007?

XRAN- Obvious. The success of the Surge Strategy in Iraq taught everyone that al-Qaida can be defeated. Even Murtha learned that. Then he got chewed out by Pelosi and un-learned it, but it's a start.

ANDROID CAI/7- Since I am still the entertainment reporter. I should say something about the writer's strike and fair economic treatment, but more people care about the death of Anna Nicole Smith, so I'll say that there's nothing to be learned there.

VAROS- I would have to say the Virginia Tech massacre and how it taught the world an important lesson about gun control.

MOXARGON- Yeah, like how you can stop psycho killers with guns.

VAROS- That's not the lesson!

MOXARGON- It's definitely the lesson taught by that incident in Colorado. A man was gunning to kill a church full of people and instead got shot by a volunteer security guard. Guns don't kill people, psycho douchebags kill people, but guns kill psycho douchebags. Tektak?

TEKTAK- While I agree with Xran about the surge, I can't help but think about Putin's recent election victory in Russia and the temptations of absolute power leading to inevitable corruption and ultimately destruction.

MOXARGON- It's a good thing that I have absolute power, and thus cannot be tempted by it. Snotglob?

SNOTGLOB- I think Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize taught the Earth a powerful lesson about Global Warming.

MOXARGON- Tektak, may I?

TEKTAK- Go right ahead, you have absolute power.

MOXARGON- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut. The only lesson learned from that prize was how meaningless and what a politicized pack of windbags the Nobel Committee has become. Vox Poplar?

VOX POPLAR- When -hic- your country's best hope is a -hic- politician, deshpite their -hic- courage, with a history of incompetence, corruption, and nepotism, your country is -hic- screwed. And yesh, I'm talkin' about Pakistan...

MOXARGON- Well, I think the biggest lesson learned is from Hugo Chavez's defeat in Venezuela's recent election. The lesson is that if you can't win by cheating, you shouldn't be in the game. Favourite moments of mainstream media bias of 2007. Xran?

XRAN- The media actively sabotaging the Republican nomination process by hyping a political and intellectual non-entity like Mike Huckabee over a field of more qualified candidates.

ANDROID CAI/7- As entertainment reporter, I would have to say Hollywood's steady flow of anti-American movies that all fail at the box-office.

VAROS- The continued existence of Fox News. The only biased news source on planet Earth.

MOXARGON- Looks like Vox Poplar isn't the only one whacked out on the hooch. Tektak?

TEKTAK- I think it's the media's gushing acceptance of the NIE, simply because it fit their own desire to not believe that Iran's ayatollahs are developing nuclear weapons.

SNOTGLOB- I think it's the media's refusal to give Senator Robert Byrd his own show! He's the voice of reason in the senate.

MOXARGON- A voice of reason in an adult diaper. Vox Poplar?

VOX POPLAR- Time Magasheen... giving Vladimir Putin 'Person of the Year' simply for shtaying in power, ignoring Petraeush whosh winnin' da war...hic... what are you looking at?

MOXARGON- It took me a while, but I have to go with the New York Times giving a discount to the millionaire backers of MoveOn.Org for their 'Betray Us' ad. Not only are George Soros and his buddies power mad, they're also cheap. Now we look ahead. What are your predictions for 2008?

XRAN- Huckabee will disappear. Guiliani/Romney nominations and eventual victory in the White House. The Democrats will take a drubbing in the congressional races due to their do-nothing record and a parade of financial scandals leaked by an Obama/Oprah besotted press corps.

ANDROID CAI/7- The writer's strike will go on, and be joined by actors and directors in the summer. Hollywood studios will try to make films without them, but the $300 million dollar anti-war epic starring Sumner Redstone and the lady from the liquor store will fail.

VAROS- Hillary Clinton will win the White House, and promptly end war, disease, global warming, and poverty.

MOXARGON- And the sky will rain puppies.

TEKTAK- The evolution of Global Warming alarmism into a religion, and then into a death cult will come to a head with enviro terrorists joining forces with radical Islamists to depopulate the Earth. Unwittingly unleashing a lot of carbon in the process. Meanwhile, average people will realize the weather is merely subject to the cycles of their sun.

SNOTGLOB- Barack Obama will win the White House, not Hillary.

VAROS- You liar! Hillary!

SNOTGLOB- Obama!

VAROS- Hillary!

SNOTGLOB- Obama!

MOXARGON- Children, you're both wrong.

VOX POPLAR- I have one prediction. All the -hic- predictions will be wrong. All wrong... secrets and lies...

(THUMP)

MOXARGON- Well, he passed out.

XRAN- Darn, and he did it before the ladies arrived.

MOXARGON- Oh well, we've got a party to throw, so until 2008, keep watching the skies because we're watching you! Happy New Year!

That's no way to treat a lady...

A Special
View From The Afterlife
Commentary
by
General Sir Charles James Napier
Commander in Chief of the British Army in India 1849-1851

Tally ho to all you living folks.

Vox Poplar and those funny looking alien chaps are taking some time off in preparation for something they call the "New Year's Blow Out," so Vox has used his electric ouija board to summon up some spirits to fill in for them.

Don't see why you need to prepare for a good old-fashioned piss-up, but what do I know, I'm a long dead Englishman.

But anyway, let's get down to brass tacks.

I'm here to talk about a woman who has recently joined us here in the afterlife, her name was Benazir Bhutto and she became the first, and, as yet, youngest woman to be elected Prime Minister of a Muslim nation. That nation is Pakistan, whose creation by Mountbatten and Jinnah in 1947 was a botched operation if there ever was one, an opinion I make note of to mention to both of them at card night at the Afterlife Club.

But enough about history, I'm here to talk about the news...

I simply must declare that as an Englishman and a Gentleman that I am thoroughly disgusted by the behaviour of the al-Qaida assassin who, while drunk on visions of virgins, shot her and then blew himself up.

Of course, his fate is settled, I paid a visit to him last night and I must say that he's sadly disappointed to discover that his 72 "virgins" are all burly demons intent on using him for their sexual pleasure whilst wearing sharply spiked prophylactics.

Messy business, I dare say.

I am also deeply upset by the debased and degraded condition Pakistan has fallen too. Although I opposed its creation, feeling that the Indian subcontinent should be a diverse, but united and democratic commonwealth nation, I do have a certain emotional investment in it since there is a street in Karachi named after yours truly.

I mean what the bloody hell is going on over there?

They have a military dictator, Pervez Musharaff, who seems to have forgotten the first rule of dealing with maniacal insurgencies (Thrash the bastards soundly, then treat the survivors with kindness) instead replacing it with a sort of lily livered half-fighting-half-talking achieving nothing policy.

What the hell is wrong with their intelligence and security services? I mean don't they have to take an oath or something to protect their nation from all enemies foreign and domestic? And that includes from groups that sound religiously proper, but are in fact nothing but a shower of bastards intent on spreading misery and destruction. Doesn't their oath and pride in their service mean anything anymore?

And what is going one with the coroner's report? If all you knew about her death was from the official Pakistani reports, you'll be pulling your own head out of your arse in confusion. Why are they so bloody afraid to blame the men who are currently bragging, like common louts, about committing this disgusting and craven act?

And while I can understand being politically opposed to a political leader, a proper gentleman does not murder them. Especially when that politician is a lady who has displayed considerable courage like Miss Bhutto.

If you did not like her, here are some things you can do:

1. Don't vote for her.

2. Campaign against her.

3. Openly discuss her past scandals and failures.

But you DON'T MURDER HER!

It's highly uncivilized.

Well, pip-pip, I must go. It's getting onto to tea-time here in the Afterlife, and I have Miss Bhutto coming over for tea. I shan't be late, that would be quite rude and highly uncivilized.

Tally-ho!

Tiger, Tiger, Not So Bright....

A SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTARY BY
SHERE KHAN-KIPLING
(Spokestiger for the Council of American Tiger Relations)

Hello.

I'd like the thank Vox Poplar, the Earthling correspondent for letting me comment here in what I think is an important issue in the light of recent events.

Now the clinical term for this crisis is Ailurophobia, but a more accurate phrase is simply Tiger-phobia.

We in the Tiger-America community are worried that the media hysteria over the events in San Francisco will be used to put the entire Tiger community in a bad light.

Tigers are a feline of peace and should not be judged by the actions of one rogue tiger drunk on the gamy sweet tang of human flesh...

...But I digress.

In order bring down the problem of Tiger Phobia like a limping gazelle, or wayward villager we must chomp it on the neck as soon as possible.

That's why we at CATR are demanding that:

1. All references to the attacker being a tiger be excised from all news reports.

2. The term 'Tiger' in those news reports shall be replaced by "upset youth."

3. A council of select Tigers should have editorial control over all reports of human-tiger related incidents.

4. The elimination of the word 'tiger' being used in a derogatory sense, except for the term: "tiger in bed" which is pretty factual.

5. The investigation and prosecution of the police officers who obviously used excessive force when they gunned down an innocent tiger.

Any failure to comply with these reasonable demands will result in a complaint being made with PETA.

The Leftist Mind: The Moral High Ground

Next time some lefty says that al-Qaida has the "moral high ground" because the USA has water-boarded some of their leaders, show them this clip...



And then ask them: Is 30 seconds to 2 minutes of water-boarding on a known terrorist leader really worse than the hours, if not days, of agony and murder dispensed by the people who ran that house?

Don't forget to mention that the people tortured in this house weren't terrorists or even American agents. Just ordinary folk who just happened to end up on al Qaida's bad side.

And don't forget to carefully explain who ran this torture house (Islamic terrorists) and who shut it down (American soldiers).

And if they don't change their mind... tell them that calling them retarded would be an insult to the retarded.

'Tis The Season For Holiday Idiocy!

Greetings puny Earthlings!

And a big fat MERRY CHRISTMAS from all of us at the MoxArgon Group.

That's right I said Merry Christmas.

Not Happy Holidays.

Because that term has been co-opted by the fascistic PC word police who every year try to stamp out the holidays religious origins as well as any fun and joy.

And this year is no different.

First some pseudo-feminists in Sydney Australia tried to ban mall Santas from saying 'Ho-Ho-Ho!'

Their reason: It may offend women.

So let me get this straight.

These so-called feminists, are saying that women are too stupid to discern the difference between Santa being jolly and a rapper being sexist?

That's taking a stand for the rights of women.

And on the celebrity front Barbra Walters was shocked and appalled that the annual White House Christmas card dared to have a religious message.

Her reason: It might offend non-Christians, atheists, and Muslims.

Now this is where you Earthlings lose me.

That's because I use something called logic, which you folks don't seem too keen on.

Barbra Walters assumes that all non-Christians, atheists, and Muslims are so twisted with hatred of Christianity and its followers that they would be offended by the simple act of a Christian wishing them well during one of their most important religious holidays.

WTF?

Now in the rest of the Universe we have a wide variety of people, and no one is offended by anyone wishing them well.

You see I'm a Catholic, but when TekTak wishes me a Happy Hannukah, I don't fly into an offended rage and file a lawsuit and a complaint with the Inhumanoid Rights Commission like Barbra Walters' friends. I wish him well right back, because even though our beliefs are different we still accept that the other person says that they want us to be happy at this time of year.

So what's the problem with a Christian wishing that a Jew, Muslim, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Shinto, or Wiccan have a good time during their religious holiday. Any decent Christian wouldn't be offended by someone from another religion wishing them well according to their own traditions.

It's called good manners.

We're talking about a time of year that's supposed to be based on giving, happiness, and other warm fuzzy feelings, and anyone who is offended by that I can only say one thing...

MERRY XMAS!

...and keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

REALITY CHECK!: Questions You Must Ask Yourself

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, with some questions that I think you should ask yourself.

WHO DOES THE CIA REALLY WORK FOR?
It certainly isn't the US government. In fact they seem to be actively conspiring against the legally elected government of President George W. Bush, and no one seems to care.

WHY IS THE MEDIA HYPING HUCKABEE?
The man is Jimmy Carter without the apparent anti-Semitism. Why aren't conservative Republicans not in the least bit suspicious over the liberally-biased press giving a 'Huckaboom' to such a weak candidate who would crash and burn in a national election?

WHY DO HEDGE FUND BILLIONAIRES SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS?
Hedge fund operators are the worst plutocrats in the world. They thrive on chaos and the failure of whole economies. Why isn't anyone asking why they all seem to be supporting the Democratic Party? Does anyone honestly believe they have the world's best interests at heart?

WHY WON'T AL GORE SHUT UP?
Even his most devoted acolytes are starting to balk at paying $3,000 a minute to listen to a multi-millionaire tell them to either give him money or be forced by UN edict to live like medieval surfs. And why is Al Gore so eager to give the corrupt and incompetent UN the right to tax America's carbon output? That's literally giving a basically incompetent criminal organisation the power to tax your right to breathe?

That's all for now keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

PS: My Earthling friend Furious D has some new posts about Hollywood at his pop-culture blog. I like to pimp the links on occasion.

REALITY CHECK!: The 2 Way Street (Part 2)

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Time for another Reality Check.

Today we talk about tolerance.

Like the Geneva Convention Rights tolerance isn't something that's just handed to you by some magical Santa Claus type being in judicial robes.

It has to be earned.

You see tolerance is a two way street.

In order to receive tolerance, one must give tolerance.

I rule an empire consisting of over 100 trillion different sentient civilizations, each one of those civilizations have their own cultures, attitudes and languages. (Thank God 99.9% of those languages are almost identical to what you call English, but that's another story)

Now there are over 100 trillion reasons for these civilizations to be at each others throat. But they are, for the most part, accepting of each other and their ways

This is what I call 'earned tolerance.' That's where the essential element that every being possesses (what you smugly call 'humanity') is recognized by sharing the same daily struggles for survival against the elements, the economy, and the android hordes that everyone else deals with.

America was built on the foundation of earned tolerance, and despite the claims of smug Euro-trash, the USA is the least racist nation on Earth. (It's not perfect, but I'll get to that later)

Europe claims to be more tolerant because it kneels before the altar of 'multi-culturalism' or what is more accurately called 'enforced tolerance' by the rest of the universe.

Enforced tolerance is where instead of recognizing what's shared, exacerbates the differences. It claims to bring togetherness, but instead creates a state of politically correct apartheid. Ethnic enclaves, or to be more accurate, ghettos, are created, to keep people in some sort of cultural stasis.

Any attempt to become a part of the larger community is shut down, not only by the state, but by self-appointed 'community leaders' who only seek to maintain the isolation under the guise of protecting culture when all they care about is protecting their own power.

And since there's no such thing as perfect stasis, so the culture begins to rot from the inside. Divisions grow, what's shared is forgotten, or suppressed outright, poverty, crime, and abuse run rampant, and hatred of themselves and the larger community that excludes them grows.

All you need to do is look at the burning ghettos of Paris, and the increasingly radical and violent politics occurring all over Europe's 'ethnic enclaves' to see it.

You don't even have to be an immigrant to be part of it. Belgium, yes tiny little Belgium, is currently tearing itself apart, because instead of trying to forge a uniquely Belgian identity between the Flemish and the Walloons they played a game of 'King of the Hill' with the two main groups working to exclude the other out of economic prosperity and political power.

And this PC apartheid of 'enforced tolerance' has affected swaths of the USA. Look at your African-American urban ghettos, where 'community activists' seek to keep their own people in a state of poverty and despair, by actively denying them the means of fully joining the larger culture in the name of 'preserving their cultural identity.'

When you fuse cultures, nobody loses anything, but everybody wins everything.

That's the main reason America became so rich, powerful, and politically stable. A politician demanding ethnic separatism in America would get laughed off the podium, in Europe, he could become a major political force.

Also, enforced tolerance is by its very nature unfair.

It divides people into two classes, victim and perpetrator, and never the twain shall meet. Which is interesting for people who claim to believe in nuance to have such a Manichean black/white view of the world.

The members of the larger, earned culture, are always viewed as the villain, and anyone outside that culture is automatically the innocent victim.

This leads to human rights commissions in Canada being asked to stifle free speech because it offends political radicals who openly desire to destroy the larger culture.

It leads to Islamic soccer teams whining about crosses on Italian soccer uniforms because they remind them of the Crusades.

You don't hear Italian soccer teams demanding that the Islamic teams strip all imagery that might be interpreted as Islamic because of the memory of the hundreds of thousands of people who have been murdered in the name of Islam.

That would be intolerant.

But enforced tolerance is inherently intolerant toward the majority and its values. It's not really tolerance, but a supremacist movement for anyone who stands against everyone living together in peace.

Enforced tolerance is a recipe for destruction.

To survive, all the trappings of enforced tolerance must be done away with. Tolerance, like culture, is a living thing, it has to grow naturally, and trying to carve it up and hand it out, only serves to kill it.

That's all for now, keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

REALITY CHECK!: The 2 Way Street (Part 1)

There's a lot of talk lately about water-boarding, torture, and whether or not Al Qaida terrorists should have the full rights of US citizens.

Now I'm not going to talk about Democratic Senators giving the okay to water-boarding, and are now screaming as if it's the equivalent of a hundred Auschwitz's. Instead I'm going to explain what rights and privileges are granted to Al Qaida terrorists by the Geneva Convention.

None

Bupkis

Zip

Zero

Nada

You see there's a very simple concept that lies at the base of the Geneva Convention.

It's called the 2 way street.

To qualify for the protections of the Geneva Convention, you must first follow the Geneva Convention yourself.

Now how many people taken prisoner by Al Qaida have been treated as legal prisoners of war?

I'd ask them, but most of them have been beheaded.

Plus:

Al Qaida is not an army of a nation state.

It doesn't wear uniforms.

It hides its weapons.

It deliberately targets innocent civilians

and

Hides among civilians.

Several millennia of military tradition dictates that these people are not soldiers, due the rights of a POW, but mass murdering thugs who have stepped beyond the realm of civilization. When you step outside civilization and actively seek to destroy it, civilization owes you nothing.

You don't want to know what we do with terrorists in my Empire, otherwise known as THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE.

It's not like you'd be able to do it anyway.

You don't have Sarlaac pits on your planet.

Keep Watching The Skies, Because We're Watching You.

You Might Be a Dictator...

Hello Earthlings, Tektak F. Mechanoid here!

A happy belated Hanukkah to all my family, to most of my goy friends a preemptive Merry Christmas, and to all you atheists out there: ___________________.

Now there's a lot of talk about just who is a dictator and who isn't on your planet. So I've taken a break from my cameo appearance in the Family Units Xmas special to give you folks a few signs that you might be a dictator.

1. If Sean Penn comes to visit you...

...you might be a dictator.

2. If you hang people not for what they've done, but for what they are...

...you might be a dictator.

3. When you talk about genocide as a positive thing...

...you might be a dictator.

4. When you hear about water-boarding, and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "Wussies..."

...you might be a dictator.

5. When your idea of reform is to drive your nation back a few decades, if not centuries...

...you might be a dictator.

6. When you have journalists killed instead of being pwned by bloggers...

...you might be a dictator.

7. When Democrats think you need aid money...

...you might be a dictator.

8. When you like to label everything "People's" this and "Socialist" that...

...you might be a dictator.

9. When the CIA wants you to stay in power...

...you might be a dictator.

10. When your answer to everything is "kill'em"...

...you might be a dictator.

11. When you screw up, instead of taking responsibility, you blame the Jooos....

...you might be a dictator.

And to answer the question that's on all your puny little minds... Remulak did not score on this test. He's more of a tyrant than a dictator.

I'm due back on set, so all you Earthlings keep watching the skies and stay on point.

REALITY CHECK!: Estimating Intelligence....

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, and it's time for me to dish out a steaming bowlful of reality to you simple, silly creatures.

There's been a lot of hoopla in the press lately about a recent National Intelligence Estimate that declared that Iran gave up on its nuclear program in 2003.

And once he got over the surprise Ahmadinejad declared the report a great victory and had a homosexual hanged in celebration.

The MSM is also all over this NIE like stink on Snotglob, declaring it as important as the 6th Gospel of Tarvak the Converter.

Which is interesting, because this same media declared the NIE to be worthless because it agreed with the rest of the world about Saddam's WMD program.

Now why would the MSM suddenly turn from one point of view on the issue of the NIE to the exact opposite overnight.

Because it tells them what they want to hear.

The MSM, and the average Leftist Mind, believe in a vast over-arching meta-narrative that guides all of their opinions. This narratives declare all white people to be racists, all Christians to be radical zealots that are worse than Osama Bin Ladin, and that America is a bloodthirsty monstrosity of a nation that needlessly abuses and torments poor innocent dictatorships. (Meta-narrative is intellectual-speak for prejudice)

Tell them what they want to hear and they will believe anything you say.

Tell them the moon is made out of green cheese and make it somehow George Bush's fault, and they will believe you.

That's why they slavishly hang of every word of a Hugo Chavez, and Ahmadinejad as the unvarnished truth, while declaring anyone stating simple facts that don't fit their prejudice as a liar or someone who will 'Betray Us.'

So here's a little sobering fact, a reality check, if you will, to tell you just how accurate the precious NIE really is.

At various times the NIE said that there were no nuclear programs in...

INDIA
(it's got the A-bomb)

PAKISTAN
(it's got the A-bomb)

ISRAEL
(it's got the A-bomb)

NORTH KOREA
(it's working on the A-bomb)

LIBYA
(it only quit for fear of a US attack after the fall of Saddam)

That's all, keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

NEWS OF THE EARTH #13: The Crazy Edition

Hello Earthlings.

Tektak F. Mechanoid here with NEWS OF THE EARTH!

Let's get rolling!

DATELINE: NEW HAMPSHIRE: A hostage situation at a Hillary Clinton campaign office ended peacefully last week. Police were initially slow to respond though because when they heard that a man with a history of erratic and crazy behaviour was in the Clinton office, they just thought John Murtha had come for a visit.

DATELINE: NEW HAMPSHIRE: In related Clinton news, Hillary's husband Bill Clinton complained the media wasn't paying enough attention to her record. The media was confused, since that was what the Clinton campaign wanted them to do in the first place.
DATELINE: IOWA: It looks like Hillary's operatives attempt to attack Obama via his kindergarten and elementary school work has backfired, revealing her to be petty and treacherous. Which by the way is her real record.

DATELINE: LONDON: Gillian Gibbons, the teacher who was arrested, jailed and threatened with death for allowing children to name a Teddy Bear Mohammed is back in England. It reminds me a beloved song from my childhood as a little cyborg...

If you go into Sudan today
Your heart will fill with dread
If you go into Sudan today
You might just lose your head

Because on the sands
With blood on their hands
Every nut that ever was
Will be there because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears
Have their Jihad!


DATELINE: WASHINGTON: The most recent National Intelligence Estimate shocked the world when it contradicted common belief by declaring that Iran ended their Atomic bomb program in 2003. Judging by the past performance of other NIEs, this can only mean one thing. IRAN IS DEVELOPING NUCLEAR WEAPONS!

DATELINE: CARACAS: Hugo Chavez was stung by losing referendums that would have made him absolute dictator for life. Yet another case where celebrity endorsement only work to prove that celebrities should lose their right to endorse.

That's all for now, keep watching the skies and all that...

Reality Check!: A Modest Proposal for the Teddy Bear Problem

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, and I'd like to take a moment to talk about that whole Gillian Gibbons- Mohammed the Teddy Bear controversy.

It appears that Ms. Gibbons has been sentenced to 15 days in prison, then deportation for the egregious crime of allowing seven year old children to name a bear after their favourite prophet. That is if the government can protect her instead of tossing her to the usual Islamic mob screaming for blood, death, and horror for this offense.

Now some folks have criticized Gibbons for not being 'sensitive' to Islamic sensibilities, and that deep down it's really all her fault and not the fault of the bloodthirsty mob waiting to hack her to pieces in the name of Allah.

Those folks are wrong.

Do you know whose fault this really is?

It's all the children's fault.

That's right.

It was their idea to name the bear Mohammed, knowing full well that anything named after the prophet that can't be associated with mass murder is an offense that must be punished with torture and death.

Poor Ms. Gibbons probably had that silly Christian assumption that if children wanted to name a bear Jesus, it was a cutesy innocent form of expressing their love for Jesus.

She couldn't see the trap the Sudanese children had set for her. She didn't know that innocent love has no place in Wahabi Islam.

So here's my modest proposal to end this situation.

As penance for allowing the children to trap her into blasphemy, Ms. Gibbons must murder all the children.

It's the only way to properly restore the honour of the prophet. If it's blood he demands, then he should get the blood of the people whose idea it was to dishonour him.

So Sudan, quit hanging around the prison waving your scimitars and let the woman give a properly Wahabi Islamic solution to a uniquely Wahabi Islamic problem.

It is all the children's fault, cut their heads off.